My Sundown
by alwaysbringback-up
Summary: "Have you already forgotten what he asked you to do, Jane? He asked you to give up your job, your friends, your home. I mean, god, Jane! Don't you see it? He's…He's still trying." Maura and Jane are at a crossroads, but neither of them know what to do. And if that isn't enough, life throws them a curveball. Possible Rizzles. Slow burn.
1. Hey, Jealousy

Title: **My Sundown**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: greygirl03  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T  
Genre: Drama/Angst/Friendship 

**Chapter 1: Chapter 1**

A/N: **First of all, this is my first ever fic with Rizzoli & Isles characters, I'd like to think that they're pretty true to character, but if they're not I apologize. I also would like to be forthcoming that this is a F/F story. If you don't care to be open minded in regards to this pairing then please don't read! This should be a story of fair length. As of this moment, I have 25,000 words written, and I am almost finished (I only have about three chapters to go). I held off on posting this story until it was complete because I have so many unfinished stories and don't want to leave my readers hanging. That being said, I think it would still be nice for me to get some input from you guys, while you read. This will help me make sure I continue it in a way that is satisfying to you**_**. I've rated it T as a precaution. If there are any chapters in which there is sexual content, I promise I will give you a warning beforehand. **_

Thanks for reading!

**Title: My Sundown**

**Fandom: R&I**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

It was late on Friday night in early Fall, and the air was crisp and cool. Leaves of dramatically different hues of red, orange, yellow, and brown swirled around in the swift breeze. Jane slowly made her way through the inner city, stopping at nearly every intersection. For some reason, Jane seemed to be out of luck. She was hitting all the yellow and red streetlights, as opposed to the preferred green. On any other day she would have made a joke about her misfortune, but tonight she was in no mood for humor. She just wanted it to end. With that thought, Jane checked the clock again and let out an exhausted sigh as she discovered that only a couple of minutes had passed since the last time she'd checked. After another five minutes of driving, she pulled up outside of her apartment. The sky was darkening quickly, and traces of pink and orange were the only lingering evidence that the sun had in fact been there only minutes before. Several stars peaked through broken clouds, though the moon was noticeably absent. Jane pulled herself out of her car, wiping a hand over her exhausted features.

On days like today, Jane tried not to carry her work home with her. Today, however, that was easier said than done. A child was with his family tonight, but would be scarred for life. He'd lost his mom and his sister.

Jane trudged down the hallway towards her apartment, pulling out her keys as she walked. She dropped them as she went to life them to the lock to unlock the door, and cursed. It was just the kind of day she was having. Finally, with a victorious click, and a turn of the knob, the door swung open. Jo rushed over to greet her and she bent down to scratch her behind the ears. Jo yipped excitedly, licking Jane's fingers as she withdrew her hand.

"It's good to see you too, Jo," Jane greeted in return. After a minute or so, Jo lost interest and scurried back to her favorite place on the couch. "Not so fast!" Jane called after her and she came running back. "It's time to go outside." Jo tilted her head to the side as Jane opened the door. "You know what that means." Jane started walking to the door and Jo shot by her with a rocket, running a few steps in front of her before turning to make sure Jane was in fact following.

Together they walked down the hallway, the steps, and walked to Jo's favorite tree outside. Jane crossed her arms as she expelled a shaky breath. Her breath misted in front of her before dispelling into thin air. Jane waited patiently for Jo to finish and walked back inside with Jo in step beside her.

After closing the door behind her, Jane tossed her keys on the counter as she walked into the kitchen. The only thing she wanted after a day like the one she'd had was a beer. She'd closed a case today, but felt little cause for celebration. After all, she knew that she'd probably have a fresh case the next day, and would have to do it all, all over again. She let out a sigh as she pulled open the fridge to pull out a cold beer. She paused, however, as a knock sounded at the door.

For a moment, Jane was tempted to just shout that it was open. There was a ninety percent chance it was Maura, but there was also a ten percent chance it was her brother or a neighbor. Figuring it was better to be safe than sorry, and not wanting to be rude, Jane walked over to the door, and pulled it open. Jane's jaw fell open in shock.

"Casey," Jane breathed in disbelief. He wore civilian clothes, but looked as well and put together as ever.

"Hello, Jane," he smiled.

"I…" Jane swallowed, feeling at a loss for words. "What are you doing here?"

"Would you mind if I came in?" Casey asked softly, looking up and down the hallway. Jane pushed the door open further and stepped back, as if that was the only response necessary. She hoped that it was, because she wasn't sure if she trusted herself to say anything at all. Thankfully, Casey needed no further indication. He was just grateful that she was giving him a chance.

"So… not that I mean to sound like a parrot," Jane said finally after he closed the door behind him. "But what are you doing here? I thought you would be drilling your own troops by now."

"I was," Casey said after taking a moment to clear his throat. There was sadness in his twinkling blue eyes that left her feeling guilty. "And then this came," he spoke as he pulled a small box from his pocket. There was a long moment's silence, as they both struggled to speak.

"Look," Jane sighed. "I didn't mean to hurt you. But what did you expect me to do?"

"I don't know," Casey voiced tremulously.

"Did you really expect me to drop everything, and come running?" Jane said simply. "I thought I said everything that needed to be said in my email."

"You did," he said sadly. "And though I understand your reasons for turning me down. I-I didn't want that to be our last conversation." He stepped forwards, reached for her hand and lifted it, before gently placing the box in her upturned palm. "I want you to have this, Jane. Please. I gave it to you, and its yours."

"Casey," Jane sounded as equally distraught. "Do you know how much this costs?"

"You think that that's the thing I care about?" Casey asked her and she flinched visibly.

"I'm sorry," Jane whispered as tears pricked at her eyes. "This… This isn't easy for me either," Jane admitted. "In fact, it nearly destroyed me. This isn't what I wanted for us."

"I'm sorry," Casey murmured consolingly.

"You're not the only one at fault," Jane argued.

"No." he pleaded. "I need to say this. Please." He took a deep breath. "I understand that it was wrong of me to put this on you, Jane. I never should have expected you to drop everything in your life, just to be with me. I know how much you love your job, and your family. Asking you to give up all of those things was selfish; especially when I couldn't do the same for you. And I… As much as it hurts, I understand why things couldn't work out between us. But, no matter what, I want you to know that I love you. I will always love you. And I'm sorry for hurting you." She looked down to the floor in an effort to try and hide her tears. But before long, she felt Casey's hand under her chin, coaxing her to look up into his eyes.

"I love you, Jane," the low rumble of Casey's voice spoke softly, filling the room. She meet his twinkling blue eyes, and held them, as he used the pad of his thumb to brush away her tears.

And before she knew what was happening, he was kissing her. The pressure on the back of her neck and the small of her back implored her to deepen the kiss, and instinctively she complied. He turned and in a perfectly coordinated move, pushed her up against the wall in the entryway. Things seemed to happen between blinks of the eye. Before she even thought about it, Casey's hands were under her shirt and she was kissing him back as if her life depended on it. Her arms lifted over her head as he wrenched the fabric up her midriff. She distantly thought about where this encounter was headed as her shirt fluttered to the floor halfway down the hall. But as his lips, encountered her once more, all thoughts went away from her.

She practically melted as lips brushed the hollow behind her ear, and then the skin of her neck. He didn't back away, though their faces were only inches apart. Jane's mouth opened, her tongue darting out to moisten her lips. Casey didn't wait long. Jane's eyes darted down to his lips and back again. By now, she was strangely detached from the situation. In fact, it felt as if she were watching it all occur from outside of her own body, as atypical as that sounds. His hands dropped from their place on the wall to her hips. A gasp was all that left Jane's parted lips before Casey pushed her back against the wall, and tugged upward, nestling her between him and the wall. Jane's legs wrapped around his hips for stability and leverage, and Jane could only moan as Casey kissed her roughly, his lips taking hers in a demanding kiss.

It was at that moment that the door swung open. She hadn't heard the knock, or Maura calling her name. Not until Maura was already stepping inside.

"Jane?" Maura's voice filled the entryway. Maura's drifted up from where they'd been looking at the floor and she promptly dropped the bag she'd been holding out of sheer shock. "Oh my god!" All realization of what she'd walked in on slammed into her, as she saw Jane's state of undress and the way her legs were wrapped against Casey's hips. She heard Jane moan, as Casey, gradually shifted, in order to let her down. "I'm so sorry," Maura's voice cracked as she wrenched open the door open and fled down the hall as fast as her feet could possibly carry her. With two feet back on the ground, Jane quickly stepped around Casey with a grumble.

He heard Jane growl further as she rushed over to pick up her shirt off of the floor. He heard more rustling and then finally Jane reappeared. He expected her to say something…anything, but she didn't so much as spare him a glance.

"Maura, wait!" Jane yelled as she forsook Casey and rushed out after her best friend, she turned right and ran down past several doors. Maura, however, did not look back. She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid. She should have _known_, she kept telling herself. "Maura, please. Let me explain!" Maura had just reached the front door, though her hand paused on the handle. It was just enough of a pause for Jane. And before Maura knew it, Jane's hand was clasping around her wrist with a gentle, but firm touch.

"Maur," Jane's soft, winded voice, was close enough that it caused Goosebumps to creep their way up Maura's arms, neck, and shoulders. "Please," Jane rasped in a voice that was equally patient as it was fervent. "Let me explain." Maura flinched briefly before turning around. She tried to steal herself for the look in Jane's soft brown eyes, but failed. It hurt. It physically hurt to look at her.

"There's nothing to explain," Maura snapped. "I walked in on you in your house, remember?" Then, before she could stop it an apology was spilling from her lips. "I'm so sorry," Maura said sincerely. "I knocked, and when no one answered, I thought you must not have heard." She took a steading breath. "So I tried the handle, and… Well, I guess you know the rest."

"It's okay," Jane said softly. "I'm the one that gave you a key." Jane reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose, as she felt guilt swell inside her.

"You know. It's okay to look at me now, Maur," Jane joked, as if that would make the situation all better. "I have a shirt on now." She tried not to notice the pain in Maura's expression, or the way that Maura couldn't meet her eyes.

"Maur," Jane breathed softly. "I'm sorry. I didn't even know Casey was in town. He showed up tonight without even calling…"

"I said that there was nothing to explain," Maura said, cutting her off. "It's your house. Obviously, you can do whatever you want." She took a deep breath. "I'm just sorry for the intrusion." Maura felt more of a need to get out of there than she'd ever felt before. "I'll leave now."

"Don't lie, Maur," Jane nearly whispered. "I can see you're upset. Plus, you know… you're umm… breaking out in hives." Maura silently cursed her inability to lie like a normal freaking human being. And Jane silently kicked herself for pushing the issue. But she could see that something was really ripping Maura apart.

"I just…" Maura was at a loss for words. But just as quickly, all of her feelings came rushing forwards, and she was caught up in the torrent. For once, she was tired of holding everything back out of fear. So she just let go, and let the words come pouring out. "I just can't believe that you'd even _consider_ taking him back after how badly he hurt you!" The depth of the hostility in which she referred to Casey took Jane aback.

"Whoa!" Jane stalled as she threw up a hand and took a step back. "Where on earth is this coming from?" she asked Maura. "l… I thought you liked Casey."

"I _used_ to," Maura retorted.

"Oh?" Jane challenged. "And when did that change, exactly?" Jane teased, but somehow, Maura interpreted it quite differently. She saw what she thought was a flash of anger in Jane's eyes and felt the need to defend her words.

"When he started treating you as if _you_ were the one that had to _conform _to his wants and needs," Maura said honestly. "Have you already forgotten what he asked you to do, Jane? He asked you to give up your job, your friends, your home. I mean, god, Jane! Don't you see it? He's…He's still trying."

"No," Jane shook her head. "He's not." Jane shook her head. "Look, he came here to apologize. To give me the ring back."

"That's not what it looked like to me," Maura argued, her face flushed with anger. Jane noticed how Maura's hands were curled into fists. Jane briefly looked down to her own. Her stance mirrored Maura as if they were squaring off. Both were in a combative stance. "To me, it looks like he's still trying to get you to change your mind."

"You don't know what you're saying, Maura," Jane defended.

"No," Maura interrupted. "I know _exactly_ what I'm saying. Jane." Jane's jaw clenched. "You're forgetting that I walked in on you," Maura spat the last word; sounding as if she were disgusted by the words, and she supposed that maybe she was disgusted. Or maybe it was just hurt. "What was happening in there was anything but innocent, so don't try to tell me otherwise."

"I didn't even realize what was happening, okay?" Jane hated the fact that she was trying to make excuses for herself, or for Casey for that matter. "He kissed me, and I acted on instinct. And it's not like we haven't been intimate be-"

"Don't," Maura screamed. "I don't need to hear about it! Witnessing it was bad enough."

"Maur," Jane sighed.

"I'm leaving," Maura said finally, giving up. "I'm done with this conversation. I'm just done." "Go ahead and do whatever you want."

"I don't understand," Jane said full of exasperation. "You're my friend. I _thought_ you _wanted_ me to be happy."

"I do want that, Jane," Maura said as tears built up in her eyes. "In fact, I want that very much." She tried to swallow over the break in her voice. "But…"

"But you just don't want me to be with _him_," Jane tried to clarify. Maura know longer trusted herself to speak. "I mean…that makes total sense. Because it's not like I haven't been dating him for the last year a half, and wasn't engaged to him," Jane spoke sarcastically. Maura opened her mouth to speak. "And before you say anything," Jane waved her off, "I would have you know that I'm an adult, and I'm more than capable of making my _own_ decisions."

"Of course you are," Maura said just as sarcastically.

"Maur," Jane rasped weakly.

Maura just shook her head. And then with one last look in Jane's eyes, she turned. "I hope you figure everything out, Jane. I really do." Maura yanked open the door and rushed down the steps, trying to swallow her own cries.

"Damnit," Jane hissed, raking a hand through her unruly, curls. "I'm an idiot," she murmured to herself as she rushed after Maura.

"Wait up! Please, wait!" Jane said as she chased Maura to her car. Maura kept walking as quickly as she could. Jane squeezed by Maura's shoulder cutting her off just before she could reach the handle on the driver's side door of her blue Toyota Prius. Maura turned, trying to flee in the other direction, but Jane was already ahead of her, reading Maura's intentions. Jane quickly pressed a hand to the car on one side of Maura's head and quickly boxed her in with a hand on each side of Maura's head, effectively holding Maura against the car without actually touching the honey blonde. "Look," Jane said sadly, "I didn't mean that, okay? I just…." "You have to understand that you caught me off guard. And I mean by that I mean _completely _off guard!" Jane sighed. "Maur, please look at me." Maura shook her head. Jane was close enough to feel Maura's breath on her face. "I'm sorry, okay. I'm so sorry," she apologized as she realized for the first time that Maura was crying. Jane reached up gently and wiped away a tear weaving its way down Maura's cheek.

"I never should have said anything," Maura whispered while trying to look away. But Jane stubbornly held Maura's eyes.

"No. That's not true," Jane replied calmly.

"Yes it is," Maura argued softly.

"No, it's not," Jane said adamantly, "Maur, if anything? You should have said something sooner."

"Why?"

"Why?" Jane repeated softly, her voice a practiced imitation of Maura's. "Because… Because I feel like you blindsided me today. I've been seeing Casey on and off for years, and you never said _anything_ to me." Maura just listened to Jane. She could see that Jane was as hurt as she felt. "And I know that it's not truly the case, but it _feels_ you've been lying to me." Jane nearly whispered the last bit.

"I've never lied to you…" Maura replied. "Jane, you _know_ I've never lied to you."

"I know. I know that you haven't," Jane said while brushing another tear away. "But sometimes you don't have to lie to hurt someone." Maura nodded. "And I don't want you to feel like you ever have to hold back. Because that's the last thing I ever want to happen between us." Jane took a deep breath. "I want you to feel like you can tell me everything."

"But that's just it, isn't it?" Maura said closing her eyes, timorously. "I _can't_ tell you _everything_. Because I just told you how I felt, and then you got angry with me."

"Hold up a sec," Jane said softly. "Let me just clarify something. I reacted the way I did because I was surprised, okay? I was hurt. And that's the _only_ reason I reacted the way I did. It wasn't because I was angry with you for sharing how you felt. It was because I felt hurt."

"Oh," Maura breathed. Jane leant forwards her forehead brushing against Maura's.

"Maur," Jane breathed back. "I need you to promise me that you won't keep secrets from me, and that…you won't hold back your feelings at my expense. You're my best friend for crying out loud, and if I can't trust you to be honest with me, I can't trust anyone."

"But there are some things that I can't ever tell you," Maura said finally.

"Yeah?" for a moment Jane thought Maura was joking. "And what's that?" And then she realized that Maura looked absolutely terrified, and Jane wasn't sure she could handle it. "Hey," She smiled. "Are you really that afraid of me?"

"I'm afraid of what I might lose, if I tell you how I really feel," Maura managed.

"You'll never lose me," Jane promised whole-heartedly. "I _promise_ you that, Maur." Maura was silent. "So what else haven't you told me?" Jane asked inexorably. "Or do I have to beg some more?"

Wanting to be compliant, Maura used her arms to push off of the car. Jane's eyes fluttered closed as Maura tilted her jaw upwards and moved the last couple of inches. Jane felt the gentle pressure of soft, pliant lips against her own. Noses brushed together as the kiss quickly deepened. Jane's hands moved paused at Maura's shoulders, before ultimately slipping into Maura's hair. Soft silken strands ran through her fingers, as Jane tried to keep some sort of hold on the invaluable woman who was kissing her. Jane's lips parted a small fraction as Maura teasingly ran her tongue along the edge of Jane's lower lip, seeking entrance, and Jane let out a moan as Maura's tongue slipped inside to mate with its counterpart. It was the best feeling in the world, a shocking revelation that made the world momentarily stop-spinning. How had she never realized her feelings for Maura before?

Jane's chest felt tight as she ceased breathing in favor of lengthening what she considered to be a perfect kiss. It was easily the best kiss she'd ever shared with anyone. For that very same reason, Jane knew that she was in serious trouble. The intensity of her feelings for the woman was only growing. A moan escaped Maura's lips as Jane pulled herself closer so that her body was flush against Maura's. Maura retreated as air became a necessity and the kiss broke. They locked eyes briefly. Jane couldn't seem to take in enough air, and so she took in oxygen through labored rasps. Jane saw what she could only assume was regret cross over Maura's features, and pulled away.

"Well," Casey's voice had them both jumping. "That's something I never saw coming."

"Casey, wait! I…." Jane called in a breathless rasp, as she stepped around Maura. A second later, Jane realized instincts had failed her again. By the time, she realized her mistake and turned back to where Maura had been standing a moment before, Maura was pulling open the driver's side door of her car and was inside.

In five seconds Jane had effectively ruined the two most important relationships she'd had in her lifetime. Still, she had to try to salvage one of them. She heard the car's engine come to life and did the only thing she could think of to keep Maura from speeding away with a cacophony of squealing tires. She sprinted around the front of the car and stood in front of the Prius with her hands on the hood. Surprised that it was that easy to turn her back on Casey.

"Maura!" Jane shouted, hoping that Maura could hear her over the engine.

"Maura," Jane yelled again, as she refused to budge. "Maura, please don't leave like this! Not after what just happened."

"Really, Jane!" Maura hissed through a partially rolled down window, part in anger, and part out of hurt. "I kissed you, and your instinct is to go after _him_?"

"Maur," Jane frantically tried to block Maura's way, but the blonde was determined now, and Jane had a feeling that nothing would stop her. "I'm not going after him, am I? The only thing that matters to me in this moment is stopping you from leaving! I couldn't possibly care any less about Casey!"

"The damage is done, Jane," Maura said strongly. "What's the saying? That actions speak louder than words?"

"Maura, please!" Jane said as she tried to stall Maura. "I'm sorry, okay? I was just shocked by it. I never thought… I never thought that you could possibly have feelings for me!" The notion made Jane feel all warm inside. She never realized how much she relished the blonde's affection.

"Do you love me?" the question was out before Maura could stop it.

"Of course I love you," Jane's answer was instantaneous. "How can you even ask that?"

"I'm not talking about in a friendly way," Maura said, her voice breaking. She looked to be in pain.

"Maur," Jane hardly dared to speak. "I…I've just never thought about you like that…" A lie. Jane wanted to kick herself. What exactly was it that she was afraid of? What did she stand to lose for telling the truth? Didn't she deserve to be happy?

"Never?"

"Okay," Jane sighed, defeatedly. "Okay. You've got me. I have thought about it… a lot actually."

"And?"

"I don't know what to say, Maur," Jane breathed aloud. "You're my best friend. You mean _everything_ to me!" Maura realized there were a lot of things that Jane had left unsaid. It didn't bode well for her.

"And do you love him?" Jane didn't answer. Knowing that if she did, Maura wouldn't like it.

"I can't…answer that," Jane struggled. "Maura, please don't let this ruin us. I love you and care about you, isn't that enough?"

"No." The revving of Maura's engine, told Jane that she had approximately ten seconds to get out of the way before Maura made her get out of the way. She decided that she'd done enough damage for one night, and ran up onto the sidewalk just as Maura sped off.

Jane never felt as hollow and empty as she did in that one moment.

"I don't know, Jane," Maura shook her head. "I just don't know."

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

**A/N: Okay, so I know that it was evil of me to leave it there! But I've got to keep you coming back for more, don't I? Please let me know if you're interested! Like any author here, I love feedback! You could even say that it's what powers my brain when I'm typing late into the night! **

**Thanks again for checking out my story! :D I'll update soon!**


	2. The Reason

Title: **My Sundown**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T  
Genre: Drama/Angst/Friendship

**Chapter 2: The Reason**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: Woohoo! I'm back! A special thanks to those who have checked out/read and reviewed my story. I hope this chapter does not disappoint! Jane comes to some very important revelations in this chapter.**

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

**Jane:**

Jane held her breath, as she listened to her phone ring for the fourth time. Maura still had a half second to pick up before it went to voicemail. Only, Jane knew that the beautiful wavy haired honey brunette wouldn't do so. Jane let out a pained sigh, resigning herself to leave yet another message for the beautiful blonde.

Just then, Jane's whole body tensed as she heard a click. It could mean that the machine in Maura's home was about to kick on, but no recording took over. For a heart stopping moment, Jane thought that Maura 'might have actually picked up the phone.

'Oh my god,' Jane screamed internally. 'She picked up. She actually picked up.' 'Okay, Rizzoli, do not screw this up. Do not fuck this up.'

"Maura?" Jane's voice cracked as she listened intently, her whole body straining to hear something… anything to tell her that Maura was listening. "Maur, is that you?" Tears pricked the corner of Jane's eyes, and for a moment she remembered Maura's description of crying, as a foreign body on her cornea. Her eyes were red and bloodshot with the tears she had reluctantly shed, as Maura left her standing on the curb outside of her own apartment. Jane's vision still blurred at the edges with the tears that she was now holding back, as her body shook with the emotional anguish that she felt.

"I'm so glad that you picked up," Jane said earnestly. "Maur," Jane whispered. "I wanted to tell you. I'm breaking up with Casey. For good. I…I don't love him, Maura." Jane paused, hoping to hear Maura's rapid breathing on the other end. Still, she heard nothing. Not so much as a pin dropping.

Jane clenched her jaw for a long moment, and took a deep breath in an effort to make her body relax. She still wasn't sure if she could admit to what she'd been holding back for so long. Especially, to Maura. Finally, she summoned all of her courage and continued.

"I…I thought I loved him. I really did." "But after thinking about it. And I mean _really_ thinking about it. I realized that I don't think I knew what love is, until…until _you_." Traitorous tears leaked from Jane's eyes, and it choked her up in every way possible.

"Maur," Jane timorous voice filled Maura's living room. "Maur, I've spent so long denying who I really am that I didn't know how to be myself anymore. I locked away those thoughts and feelings a long time ago. And as much as I tried to be happy, I couldn't." Still nothing. "I didn't understand why it was so difficult for me to be happy. I mean…I had a boyfriend, who loved me, and instead of being happy like any normal person would be, I was miserable. But I finally understand, why. I honestly do. It's because I didn't love him… And because I knew that I could never be with the one person I _actually_ loved. Or I should say that I _thought _Icould never be with the one person that I loved." Jane no longer cared. She was already halfway through spilling her heart, and she had to finish, even if it was just for herself.

"I was so used to denying myself the little things, that when I could actually had a chance at…happiness. I didn't know what to do. I…I'm terrified, Maura." Jane was sobbing now.

"Maura, please," Jane begged softly, the tremor in her voice was unmistakable. Each sob, echoing over the phone line ripped the listener apart. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Please tell me what I can do to fix this." Jane's world came crashing down as a triple beep signified the end of the call. She was disconnected.

Maura had answered. And then without so much as a word had hung up on Jane. This was bad. Perhaps, worse than when she'd shot, Paddy Doyle. Jane felt like she wanted to curl up on the floor of her living room and die.

Jane was numb. She sat huddled in a slightly fetal position on the floor in her small living room with her back was pressed against the couch. She had absolutely no idea what to do.

Of two things, she was sure. First of all, she had to break up with Casey. And by that I mean that she had to leave positively no doubt in his mind that things were over between them. Second, she had to find a way to get Maura to forgive her. And then, and only then, could she court her best friend.

Jane felt her phone start to go off in her hand. She knew without a doubt that it was Casey calling, and swallowed hard, her throat feeling incredibly tight. She didn't understand why he still kept trying. If anything, he should be angry. After all, she'd practically walked out on him in her own apartment. And then, as if that hadn't been bad enough, he'd come down to find her kissing Maura, her best friend. No. Best friend didn't even come close to describing what Maura was. Love of her life was more like it. In fact, Maura practically possessed her heart and soul, and she had for a long time now.

Jane pinched her, nose between her thumb and forefinger, in an effort to release the pressure behind her eyes. Her head throbbed relentlessly, as she swallowed over the obstruction in her throat. Gradually, her tears subsided. It was mainly because she knew that she had to pull it together enough to break it off with Casey. With shaking hands, she accepted the call and lifted it to her ear.

"Hey," Jane greeted, her voice deep and coarsened.

"Hi," Casey replied evenly. It surprised her. She expected his voice to have an edge to it, but it was soft, warm.

"Hi," Jane susurrated apologetically. She wasn't sure what to say. Finally, she said the only thing she could. "Casey, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry, but I should have told you the second that you kissed me that I couldn't be with you anymore."

"The way I see it," Casey said finally. "Is that it's my fault. I'm the one that ruined what we had. I…I abandoned you."

"Yeah," Jane agreed. "You did. And worst of all? You told me that you were choosing the job over me…over freaking _email_, Casey."

"I know…" Casey sighed. "We're really over, aren't we?"

"Yeah," Jane said sadly. "But listen. Please don't blame yourself, okay? I mean… Even if you had done everything right, I'm still not sure that things would have ever worked out between us. Because I think that I'm in love with someone else."

"Maura?" Casey muttered quietly, not sure if he trusted himself to say any more.

"Yeah," Jane couldn't help the involuntary smile that tugged at her lips as she thought of the heart stopping kiss she and Maura had shared, only hours ago. Though, after all of the drama of the evening it seemed to have happened an eternity ago. "She was there for me, Casey. She was there for me when my world seemed to be falling apart and I thought that I was…" Jane cut herself off, realizing that she'd almost told Casey about the pregnancy scare. "She's always been there for me. And I love her."

"It hurts, Jane," Casey spoke honestly. "But I…I understand. She was there for you when I wasn't." He took a shallow breath. "I… For what it's worth, I hope that things work out between you two, Jane. I just want you to be happy."

"That," Jane was surprised he was so candid, and honest, "That means a lot to me, Casey." "Thank you," she whispered softly. "I just hope that she can forgive me." Jane heard a loud voice in the background. It sounded like a loud speaker. "What was that?"

"That was a final boarding call," Casey replied. "They just finished boarding my plane."

"Oh," Jane replied. "Guess we're running out of time, huh?"

"Yeah," Casey replied. "Look, Jane. I want you to know that I meant what I said earlier. I suspect that I'll always feel this way. So please, if you ever need anything, let me know."

"Of course," Jane replied. "The same goes for you. Only, I'd appreciate it if you didn't just show up at my place without calling. If things do go anywhere with Maura, I don't want her to feel like…"

"Say no more," Casey said warmly. "Take care of yourself, Jane."

"You too!" Jane replied emotionally. "Please. I mean it. Take care of yourself." Jane heard more commotion on the other end. Then, Casey replied softly. She couldn't make out what was said, but she discovered it soon enough.

"I'm sorry, Jane," Casey apologized. "But I've got to go. I'm the last one left to board."

"Okay," Jane replied. "I'm sorry it came to this, Casey. I never wanted to have this conversation over the phone."

"It's okay, Jane. I understand." She heard him sigh, sadly. "Goodbye, Jane."

"Bye," Jane spoke as the line clicked dead.

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Jane expected to feel elated. After all, she was free. But there was still so much to do. By no means was the hard part over with. Breaking up with Casey had been easier than she expected, but that was little consolation in the long run. She had no idea what she'd do if she could make things right with Maura.

Jane let out a quavering breath, her whole body shaking. With a huff she set the phone down on the floor next to her, deciding to pay attention to the bottle of whiskey she'd picked up on the way home from work a long time ago. She'd never touched it, often preferring to drink beer instead. But if a situation ever warranted it, it was this one. She needed some liquid courage. She picked up the bottle, unscrewed the cap, and lifted it to her lips. She took a healthy swallow, coughing as the alcohol burned on its way down. Jane closed her eyes, waiting for the first sip to settle in her stomach before taking another and another.

Jane really hated the person that her best friend had turned her into. Jane had always been so sure that she knew exactly who she was, only now she wasn't so sure. Her feelings for Maura changed everything. It made her question everything about her sexuality, the kind of person she was. It even made her wonder if she was worth anything at all. She would certainly never be good enough for Maura. The medical examiner was brilliant, successful, beautiful, fashionable, and god, the way that she could make someone melt with just her smile. Maura was a little socially awkward, but her compassion more than made up for it. Jane felt her throat close up on her.

"You'll never be good enough for her," she whispered aloud.

From a very young age, Jane had learned to be self-proficient. Sure, she had a family that was always there to love and support her, but they'd never been well off. Her father was a hardworking man, who earned every cent of what he'd made. When Jane graduated from high school, she had immediately been ready to move on with her life. From then on, she had become so used to being independent. She was a driven woman in a field dominated by men, and when she set her sights on something, nothing could stop her. Jane had always put work before relationships. The truth was, that Jane had no issue dealing with the possible risks of being a police officer. She wasn't afraid of risking her life. But she sure as hell was petrified of risking her heart. When it came to Dr. Maura Isles, Jane's feelings were so strong, so overwhelming that it became frightening. Jane wanted to confess her feelings, but knew that she couldn't do it in the way she wanted until she figured out how to let the beautiful woman in. Jane didn't know how to admit the truth… and the truth was, that she was not only attracted to another woman, but also that she loved another woman. Jane didn't know if that made her gay, or if she was only attracted to Maura. Jane also couldn't bring herself to admit that she needed Maura in her life. So there it was. The problem. Jane wasn't used to needing someone, and she certainly wasn't used to depending on another person for love or comfort. So when she fell so hard for her best friend and realized it for the first time, she became petrified. Jane did the only thing she knew, and ran. She spent weeks avoiding the medical examiner. Jane had forced herself to come up with excuses as to why they shouldn't be together; knowing all the while that it was the one thing she always wanted. She loved Maura more than she loved anyone else. She wanted nothing more than to make the light haired, hazel-eyed woman happy, and yet, she knew that she would never be good enough. She'd never doubted herself before. Now, of course, Jane realized that she hardly knew herself at all.

Jane looked at her watch to find that it was getting late (already past midnight). The good news was that there was a good chance Maura would be home. The bad news, however, was that Maura wasn't taking her calls. Jane decided that it was time for action. After all, hadn't it been Maura who had said that 'actions speak louder than words?'

Perhaps it was the alcohol addling her brain, but Jane pushed herself up from the floor-albeit rather clumsily-as the idea took hold.

She was going to Maura's.

And she wasn't going to leave until the honey blonde talked to her.

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

**A/N: Okay, so I know that this chapter wasn't very long, but I wanted to divide Jane and Maura's point of view so that people did not get confused. So what did you guys think? Casey is out of the way (Thank god!), and Jane's ready to talk to Maura! So my question for you guys is... Who was listening to Jane spill her guts over the phone? Was it Maura? (Would she really be so cruel, and not say a single word?) Or was it someone else? Also, what do you think the next chapter holds for the two of them? **

_Sorry for all of the questions, but I just want to know what your take is on the matter! I promise to update soon! **Please don't forget to review! :D**_


	3. Cut Me Deep

Title: **My Sundown**

Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T  
Genre: Drama/Angst/Friendship

**Chapter 3: The Reason**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

When Jane pulled up to Maura's home all was quiet. The wind was gusting outside and blowing the branches of the large oak tree in Maura's front yard in wayward directions. There was a lone light shining on the porch, but Maura's car was gone. Jane let out a sigh, as she cut the engine. It looked like it was going to be more of a stakeout than she planned for it to be, but she didn't mind.

She was just very grateful that in her rush to leave, she'd remained pragmatic, and had thought to bring some blankets and the thermos of warm black coffee, to keep warm. It was a simple task to complete, but as she learned from valuable experience, the details mattered.

And so, with little preamble Jane set in for a long wait. Maura could be gone for five minutes, or out for the whole night. With a pang of jealousy and regret, Jane tried not to think of what it would mean if Maura didn't come home. Still, her mind wandered, and as more and more time ticked by, Jane couldn't deny the possibility that Maura was with someone else.

After draining most of her coffee, Jane called Maura's cell and home phone again. Both went directly to voicemail, and Jane's mood bottomed out. "Come on, Maur," Jane questioned as she hung up her phone, "Where are you?" Jane let out a sigh, tried to rub the sleep from her eyes, and answered herself.

"She's probably with someone," Jane spoke aloud to herself. "Receiving the love that you were too stupid to give her." Jane smacked her own forehead in frustration, hating the whole situation. She wanted to be angry, but knew that she had no right. That was the worst thing about it all. Jane didn't have a right to be _anything_.

After that last phone call, Jane started getting restless and hopped out of her car and went to the front door to knock on it again. There was no answer, and so she walked back to her car, pulled out the blankets, and the rest of her coffee, and walked over to Maura's porch. She sat down on one of the blankets, and bundled the other around her shoulders in a vain effort to stay warm. She imagined that she looked quite out of place, a vagrant in an upscale neighborhood.

"Come home, Maur," Jane muttered, as she wiggled back and forth, she was starting to lose all feeling in her extremeties. She cupped her hands to her mouth and blew on them for forcefully for warmth. A white cloud of vapor dissipated and was gone.

It wasn't for another three hours, that Maura pulled into her driveway and got out of her car. Jane jumped up, but groaned as her cold, stiff body resisted any movement whatsoever. She started jumping up and down, trying to bring warm blood to her feet and hands.

Maura was slow to get out of the car, and Jane could only figure that the blonde, had seen her and just didn't want to deal with Jane. The blonde M.E. might even be thinking of getting back into her car, and driving away before Jane could do anything.

Fortunately, for Jane, she didn't.

"Maura," Jane called as she watched the blonde approach hesitantly. "Hey," Jane greeted. "I've been waiting for you for hours. Where've you been?" She knew that she really didn't have any right to ask that question, but she hoped that Maura would answer it, nonetheless.

"Jane," Maura greeted her curtly. Jane stood by; watching as Maura unlocked the front door, walked inside, and shut the door in Jane's face.

"Oww," Jane who had been only a couple of steps behind her friend, hissed as her nose took the brunt of the force of the door. Jane's hand shot up to her nose and pinched it at the bridge, searching for any sign of a break. "Fuck." She hissed again as blood started to trickle down from her nose and drip from her chin.

Maura apparently had a sudden change of heart because the door opened a moment later.

"Jane?" She looked at Jane, looking amused.

"Shit, Maur," Jane whined. "That hurt."

"Yeah," Maura said flatly, "Well, now you know how I feel."

"If you want to act all wounded, that's fine," Jane said, though her hand pinching her bleeding nose muffled it. "But I came here to tell you that I want to be with you too. Maur, I love y-"

"Don't say it," Maura cut her off. "Not when it means something different to you than it does to me."

"Who says that I don't mean it the way you do?" Jane asked. "Look, can I come in, and talk, or should I just go home?"

"Fine," Maura conceded, you can come in, "but don't you dare get any blood on the carpet."

Jane wanted to mutter, "Whose fault is that?" but somehow managed to hold her tongue.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to get one of your spare shirts." Maura left Jane standing in the foyer and Jane, careful not to get any blood on it, peeled off her jacket and slung it over the back of a chair. She caught a glimpse of her currently grotesque looking face in the mirror and nearly laughed. She was a mess from head to toe.

"Here," Maura's soft voice had Jane jumping slightly, she turned to Maura's outstretched hand, and gently took the t-shirt from the beautiful woman's grasp. "I guess it comes in handy to have clothes at your friend's place. I always thought it a bit peculiar myself…It almost made it seem like we were a…"

"A couple?" Jane finished softly. "Yeah," Jane couldn't help the smile. "I've thought that too."

"Let me take a look at that," Maura gestured for Jane to step closer and reached up to palpate the cartilage and bones in Jane's nose. Jane hissed and tried to pull away, but Maura reprimanded strongly. "Hold still!"

"You're hurting me," Jane whined.

"Almost. Just give me one second. I just have to…" Jane felt Maura's fingers make and adjustment and felt immediate relief. "Ah. There!" Maura looked proud of herself. "That should help. Although, you really should stop injuring…"

"You're the one that slammed the door in my face!" Jane interjected.

"Yeah?" Maura challenged with hands suddenly on her hips, "Well, you made me mad!" Jane almost wanted to laugh, almost. She knew that Maura would be even more upset with her if she did, but the blonde just looked so adorable when she was angry.

Instead, to hide the look on her face, Jane reached up to her neck and in one quick motion wrenched the fabric of her t-shirt over her head. Maura had no time to turn around, but wasn't sure she would have been able to, even if she had had more warning. Maura felt heat flood her body as her eyes met the toned skin of Jane's abdomen and lower back. Jane seemed to be unreceptive to the way Maura was breathing much too fast. She just concentrated on getting one shirt off, and another shirt on.

When she was finished, she asked. "So," Jane breathed. "I know I've already apologized, but…I have to apologize again, Maur. I was totally unprepared for what happened…" She sputtered, "I mean… it was very overwhelming and I handled it the wrong way. I'm sorry. I need you to give me a chance."

"Look," Maura said frankly, "If you really want me to give us a chance, then you're going to have to give me a good reason to, Jane." Maura ran her hand over the back of her neck as she added. "I'm sick of being stuck in this limbo we're in." Maura looked away, "I care about you a lot, Jane, but I can't wait forever. And I'm sick of being the only one who is making the effort."

"Oh," Jane hissed, "So it's my fault?" Jane felt frustrated and she nearly growled as she said. "I didn't even know you liked me, until you kissed me!" Jane took a deep breath. "And can you really blame me for not knowing? You're straight, for god's sake. God only knows how many times I had to listen to you gush about your dates with men that are twice my pay grade."

"I'm not the one with a boyfriend, Jane," Maura shot back. "I mean…sure, I've dated my fair share of men, but at least I didn't make you listen to graphic details of my sexual encounters."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jane asked, not sure what to make of it.

"Exactly what it sounds like," Maura retorted. "I was never the one you wanted. You'd rather be with Casey."

"That's not true," Jane objected. "I'm trying, Maura," Jane said earnestly. "I broke up with Casey, and I'm willing to admit that I never loved him. I thought I did, but I was disillusioning myself. There's only one person I want. And that's you. I just want you, Maur."

"I wish I could believe that," Maura practically whispered. "I really do."

"Ugh," Jane squeezed her eyes shut and tugged on her hair. She couldn't take it anymore. "I can't do this anymore. I can't take it." Jane breathed as she finally let go and stood up. Maura's eyes followed as Jane walked back and forth, her hands curled into tight fists. "Look at us, Maura!" Jane said finally. "Look at what we've become!" Jane commanded. "We can't even stand being in the same room together! This has to stop. This stupid mistake has ruined our friendship. It has to stop."

"Jane," tears sprang to Maura's eyes as she realized Jane was right. What _had_ happened to them? Jane's heart broke as she saw the look of pain in Maura's eyes. Jane took a deep breath. They had to figure things out before there was nothing left of their friendship to salvage.

"Casey was nothing but a placeholder, Maur," Jane admitted finally as she sank down onto the coffee table in front of Maura and leant forwards. She gently took Maura's hands in her own and gave them a squeeze. "He meant little to me and I thought that you would understand that." Jane's jaw clenched tightly as she struggled not to lose control of her feelings. "I just wanted someone… someone who could make me feel wanted. Needed."

"And I didn't?" Maura's voice broke. "I didn't make you feel wanted?"

"No," Jane choked out honestly. "You didn't." Jane ran a hand over her face, trying to ease the tension in her jaw.

"What can I do to make you feel wanted?" Maura asked Jane sadly. "Because I do need you. I care about you, Jane."

"No you don't," Jane shook her head sadly, "See, that's just it. That's what I'm trying to say. You don't need me, Maura." Jane took a ragged breath and then continued. "That's why I never said anything about my feelings. The men you see are smart, successful, compassionate, and I… I can't compete with that." Jane stared down into the grain of the wood floor between her feet. "I gave up trying to compete with them a long time ago. And I'm still not sure that I ever could."

"I… I don't understand how everything went wrong," Maura whispered as she met Jane's eyes. Jane retracted her hands, breaking her contact with the honey colored brunette, and closed her eyes. She let out a deep sigh as she slumped forwards.

"It's not your fault, Maur," Jane answered, deciding to offer Maura some sympathy after seeing how lost Maura truly was. "It's mine. I went about everything the wrong way. I thought you could see how much I was hurting." Jane swallowed.

"I see you're hurting now," Maura spoke softly. "I'm so sorry I didn't see it sooner. I thought you were happy with the way things were."

"I… I tried to be," Jane confessed, "I tried so hard to be happy with the way things were. It's just that I was in love with you, and I wanted so desperately for you to feel the same way about me that I... I gave up a part of myself to make you happy." She fought the tears building in her eyes. "There were so many times I thought, you'd find the perfect man, and I'd be left behind. So I figured…that if I was going to lose you regardless of what I did…I thought that maybe it wouldn't hurt as much if I had someone to take care of me…even if it wasn't you."

"Jane," Maura's voice broke as tears spilled over and trickled down her cheeks.

"Only instead of realizing that you were in love with me like I imagined, you… you never said anything and I just gave up. Sure, it was hard. It was hard for me to accept that I just wasn't _that_ person for you, but I dealt with it." Jane let out another breath as her heart felt like it was breaking all over again. "I disillusioned myself, and now I can't be around you because it hurts too much to think about how badly I hurt you. It hurts to know that I'm not good enough…" Jane reached up to rub at her burning eyes. She hoped that she wouldn't cry in front of Maura. "I'm sorry."

"Jane," Maura's heart also felt as if it were broken. "I'm sorry too." Jane nodded, not trusting her voice.

"How do we fix this, Maur?" Jane breathed. "Because I can't lose you. Please…" Jane finally rasped, and though it was a statement, it had a bit of a question implied. "Tell me we can fix this somehow."

"I'd like to believe that we can be friends," Maura whispered. "But I just don't know anymore." Jane swallowed again. "I… I think that I need some time." Jane stared at her looking as if she were having trouble comprehending the beautiful blonde's words. "Maybe…" Maura paused, swallowing over her dry throat. "Maybe it would be a good thing for us to take some time away from each other for a while."

"What?" Jane replied, seemingly horrified by the suggestion. "No. Maur, no."

"I can't deal with this right now, Jane," Maura swallowed. "Don't you understand?"

"I understand that I hurt you," Jane breathed. "But Maur, I…I love you too."

"No," Maura shook her head. "We're talking about two different kinds of love here. You can't say that. Not to me." Maura couldn't bear to look at her anymore. "I'm too tired for this," Maura said finally as she stood, "I'm going to bed. You should go home, Jane, it's getting late." Maura suggested as she started walking to her bedroom. Jane watched her go, wincing as Maura vanished out of sight and slammed the bedroom door shut behind her. Jane stared at the obstacle her for what seemed like an eternity. Finally upon hearing nothing more than silence, she let herself out. Maura waited a couple of minutes and then walked back to the front door to lock it. It looked like it was going to be a long night for her. Maura had no doubt that the early hours of the morning would be wrought with sleepless delirium. She had just slid the chain into place when a knock on the door had her cringing. She looked through the peephole to find Jane on the other side, looking ruffled. Maura squeezed her eyes shut as Jane knocked again. Slowly, she unfastened the chain, undid the deadbolt, and opened the door.

"I forgot my…" no other words made it from the detective's lips as she was assaulted by Maura's lips. She moaned into the kiss as Maura's hand reached out and fisted Jane's shirt, pulling the brunette inside. Jane slammed the door shut with her foot, and then turned and pushed the blonde against it with considerable force. This only made Maura want Jane more. She liked it when Jane was riled. It was like a special game of cat and mouse. They fought much too often, and Jane knew they'd be at ends again tomorrow, but she just couldn't fight it anymore. She couldn't resist Maura. If only the young doctor knew what she was doing to Jane when she claimed Jane to be lying about her feelings. Jane finally knew without a doubt that she was in love with her best friend. And yet, Maura made Jane feel like it was all a lie… like what they were doing didn't mean a damned thing to Jane, and that wasn't the case. In fact, it couldn't be further from the truth. Maura meant _everything_ to Jane. But maybe if she stopped caring it wouldn't hurt when it all fell apart.

"I want you," Maura breathed into Jane's ear as the brunette let her hands fall away. Maura didn't want her to stop.

"You say that now," Jane muttered. "But if something happens, are you going to regret it tomorrow? I don't want to be one of your regrets tomorrow."

"Why?" Maura asked with her eyes darkened with heady desire. "Are you?"

"No," Jane said honestly, "Of course not. I could never regret you. I've wanted this for so long." She held Maura's eyes, letting the blonde search Jane's eyes for whatever it was that she needed to be sure of Jane's sincerity.

"Maur," Jane pleaded softly.

"No," Maura growled, turning away. She quickly looked around for whatever Jane had left. "What did you leave?" she asked Jane. "Where is it? Take it and go…" she instructed.

"Maur," Jane turned Maura around and grabbed Maura by the jaw before the blonde could pull away, crashing her lips against Maura's soft glossy lips. Maura kissed her back with just as much force. Hands roamed as tongues battled for control. Jane broke away when the need for oxygen became more important than the kiss they were sharing.

"Tell me to go, and I will," Jane challenged, thinking that there was no way the blonde would turn her out at this hour. Maura said nothing. Instead she searched. The blonde M.E.'s eyes finally fell over Jane's coat draped over her chair. She had two options. She could feign ignorance and take Jane to bed. Or she could send the brunette on her way.

She was terrified to give herself over to Jane. She didn't want to let Jane inside, out of fear that the brunette would suddenly decide that she'd rather be with Casey after all. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to make it back from that sort of rejection if it happened.

Jane waited patiently for some sort of sign, not wanting to push the blonde to make a snap decision. She wanted to respect Maura's choice, no matter what it was. She watched, frozen, as Maura walked over to Jane's coat and slung it over her arm. She walked back over to Jane and stopped in front of her, with a sorrowful look on her face.

"O-Okay," Jane's voice cracked. "Fair enough." Jane took the coat from Maura with great care, avoiding touching the blonde.

"I'm sorry, Jane," Maura breathed aloud.

"Hey," Jane forced a smile. "Don't be sorry. You're not the one who should be sorry. You can't help how you feel. I…I hurt you." She took a staggering breath. "I just hope that I can regain your trust some day," Jane said softly. "Just…take whatever time you need, and give me a call when you're ready to see me again," Jane spoke levelly, while holding Maura's eyes. Jane stepped forwards and pressed a kiss to Maura's forehead. "Take care of yourself," Jane implored her, as she walked to the door. She opened it, walked through, and shut it behind her with a click.

By some miracle, Jane managed to hold it together until she was back in her car. Then and only then did she let the tears go, feeling as if she'd just lost the most important thing in her life.

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**A/N: Will Maura be able to forgive Jane, and move on with their friendship? Will Jane be able to hold it together? Stay tuned to see what happens next! Thanks for reading!**

Please hit the review/follow button on your way out! Thank you! :)


	4. Think About It

Title: **My Sundown**  
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T  
Genre: Drama/Angst/Friendship

**Chapter 4: Think About it**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: Hey, guys! Here's another update for you. I have to say thank you for all of your comments. I might have to edit the last chapter. A lot of people don't seem to understand why Maura is upset with Jane, so I don't feel as if I adequately did my job as a writer. I just hate changing a story part way through. I'm also aware you don't agree with Maura's disbelief of Jane saying I love you. I guess all I can say is, that she's worried Jane is rushing into something that she "thinks" she wants, but will later find out her feelings aren't genuine. I hope that this chapter will shed more light on what is going on in Maura's head. Maybe she just needs to hear it from someone else! (aka Angela). Please let me know what you'd like me to do! I hope I don't let you down, again.**

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Jane down stared at the thin newspaper laid out across her countertop. It had a few small tears in the creases from when she'd turned its pages a little too vigorously. The words seemingly blurred together, as Jane read them with tired, sore eyes. And even though the words were printed in an easily readable generic black and white font, it still seemed difficult for Jane to decipher. Jane groaned in discomfort as Jane's head pounded incessantly. Jane squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to rub away the tension in her temples and her forehead before finally pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. She applied pressure to her eyes with her thumb and forefinger, hoping to ease the throbbing in them. She hadn't slept in days, weeks, due to the fact that her mind refused to let go of what happened between her and Maura. Her mind continuously replayed the minutes that had changed everything between them.

It had been 13 days 4 hours and roughly 37 seconds, since her last conversation with her best friend, and she wondered where things had gone so terribly wrong. She had been wrong to let Casey in two weeks ago. Jane could be absolutely sure about that. In fact, Jane couldn't stop kicking herself for her foolishness. She should have known Casey couldn't put his feelings aside. She should have known that he'd make one last desperate gesture to get Jane to reconsider leaving with him. And now her friendship with Maura would never be the same. Every time she remembered the look in Maura's eyes, and the sheer hurt with which the honey blonde had looked at her as she tried to explain what she'd inadvertently walked in on, Jane knew that she had broken her friend's trust. And that wasn't even the half of it. Maura had kept her true feelings from Jane.

All this time, Jane had continuously shut away her feelings into a small box in the back of her mind, labeled 'DO NOT TOUCH.' And now, come to find out, Maura had been doing the same. For years, she'd been forced to sit idly by as Maura went on date after date with good looking, intelligent, and professionally successful men. Every time, Maura came back, gushing about a successful date, Jane had needed to brace herself. She'd wondered countless times if she was going to lose Maura to another man. Still, she forced herself to play the part of the supportive best friend, as much as it hurt.

'Poor Maura.' Jane, thought. 'I did the same thing to her. No. What I did was _worse_. All those times that I talked to her about Casey.' Jane's head dropped into her hands. 'I wore the ring. I showed it to her.'

For all this time, Jane had thought Maura fond of Casey. In fact, during the stage of their relationship in which Casey had distanced himself from her because of Cauda Equina syndrome, Maura had defended and supported his decisions. It wasn't until one of the most heated discussions that Jane had ever had with the usually articulately wordy M.E, two weeks ago, that Jane realized she'd been blind when it came to her relationship with Casey.

Still, Jane had said some hurtful things, and done some hurtful things that night. They were the sorts of things that were not easy to take back. And Jane had been trying to atone for those things ever since.

Jane felt awful. She felt so unbelievably broken and incomplete without her best friend. She'd called Maura to apologize, but Maura refused to answer Jane's calls. Then she'd gone over to Maura's, sat outside the whole night, and still hadn't had much luck.

The only time that Maura would say anything to Jane at all was in a professional context. Maura couldn't even look at Jane, and the brunette detective wondered if Maura would ever be able to forgive Jane enough to do so.

Maura had done absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, she'd been amazing, helping Jane to work through her break-up with Casey, and the surprisingly painful disappointment that she _wasn't_ pregnant. The latter hurt more than the break-up itself, if Jane was being truly honest with herself. Hold up! Before you go and freak out, please don't get me wrong! She wasn't really disappointed because she wasn't having Casey's baby. But rather, she was disappointed because she wanted a baby. And, of course, Maura's willingness to help raise the baby, should there be one, only made her want one more.

When she'd told Maura she thought that she was pregnant, Maura had promised that they'd get through it together, and that Jane would never ever be alone.

A smile tugged at Jane's lips as she thought about what Maura had said to her that night.

"_I'll always be here for you, Jane. No matter what," Maura breathed in Jane's ear, as she wrapped her arms around her in a comforting hug. "Who better to raise a baby, than you and I?" Jane had laughed then, out of happiness. "Now go take the test, and come and get me. We'll find out the result together…and go from there."_

When the blood results came back (Maura had run them herself) they'd discovered the home pregnancy test Jane had taken had, in fact, been negative. Jane had expected to feel relief, but instead all she felt had been disappointment. And Maura had helped her through that too.

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Jane looked up as the door to her apartment swung open and Angela Rizzoli walked in. Jane spared her a glance and then went back to attempting to read the paper. Jane blinked, trying to ease the pain and dryness in her eyes. They were slightly bloodshot from lack of sleep. Jane silently made a note to put some drops in them before heading into work.

"I brought something to make for breakfast," Angela announced. "You hungry?"

"No, Ma," Jane grumbled, looking up from her paper to find her mother starting up the stove. Jane let out a sigh of annoyance. Sometimes she wondered why her mother even bothered asking, when the answer didn't really matter at all to her anyways. Obviously, her mother was going to make her eat something whether or not Jane wanted to. "Ma," Jane groaned, rubbing at the tense muscles in her shoulders and neck. "I said that I'm not hungry."

"Don't be ridiculous," Angela flashed Jane a chastising glare. "I know for a fact that you haven't had anything nutritious to eat in days." Jane just shook her head. She was too tired to argue with her mother. All she wanted was to be alone. She wanted to be able to sulk.

"Who told you that?" Jane said as she looked up to meet her mother's eyes. "Frankie?"

"You forget that I know you, Janie," Angela shook her head sadly. "I'm not going to reveal my sources." She paused as she added bacon to the skillet. "What matters is that we all care about you. Sulking about your relationship with Maura isn't going to do you any good. What you need to do is go over there and talk to her. I'm sure if you spoke from the heart and apologized, that Maura would understand."

"You just don't get it, do you?" Jane grumbled as she pushed herself up and off of the stool. "I've already tried apologizing to her every way that I know how. It's not good enough. She thinks that Casey means more to me than she does, because I didn't push him away when he kissed me and then was stupid enough to defend his actions." She wasn't about to tell her mom about the kiss she'd shared with Maura, and how she'd royally screwed that up.

"She doesn't understand that I was acting on instinct. What else was I supposed to do?" Jane swallowed, her throat starting to close up on her. "I didn't mean to hurt her, Ma," Jane spoke honestly. "I know how much our friendship means to Maura. The truth is, Maura has always been very kind towards Casey. I don't understand when that changed." Jane groaned. "I'm still trying to figure out when things changed."

"You really don't know?" her mom said skeptically.

"No!" Jane hissed. "And why in the hell does everyone else seem to have it all figured out?!" "Damnit," Jane growled. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you just now. It's just that I royally effed things up."

"Language, Jane," Angela said softly, sitting down next to Jane.

"Well, I didn't say the actual word, did I?" Jane challenged.

"Look, it's always harder to gain perspective when it involves your own life. It's easier when you're a spectator and can see everything that happens in someone else's. Just…think about it, Jane."

"You mean you're not going to help me?" Jane said with an edge to her voice. Jane gripped the counter tightly with her hands, which had started to shake with the sheer memory of when Casey had pushed her up against the wall_. _

"Jane," her mother sighed, "Even if I told you, I'm not sure you'd believe me. You're a big girl. You'll figure it out on your own eventually. Just give it some more time."

"Maybe I just have to accept that she's never going to be able to forgive me for this. I can apologize for the rest of my life, but I will never be able to undo what it is that I did. I…I've never hurt her like this before. Not even when I shot Doyle, Ma. I did this. I ruined us. Me."

"Janie," Angela looked as if she understood Jane's feelings of hopelessness, as she saw the tears that had built in her daughter's eyes. "I'm so sorry, honey." Angela sat down next to Jane and wrapped her arm comfortingly around Jane's shoulder and enveloped her daughter tightly in her arms.

"Look, I'll talk to Maura," Angela breathed softly, "I'll see if I can't get her to give you a chance to explain. I know she cares about you Jane. Even if she's upset with you now, eventually she'll come around. In time she'll realize why you did what you did, even if it's hard for her to see that now. Right now, she's just so blinded by her own feelings she can't see it." Jane nodded.

"You should go visit her this afternoon," Angela said finally.

"The only thing she's said to me since the it happened was that she needed to take some time to figure things out," Jane shook her head. "I want to be able to respect that, no matter how hard it is for me to do. I owe her that." Jane shook her head.

"Jane," her mother said as she gave her a squeeze and let her go. "I'm sure if you told her how you feel, it would make you feel a lot better."

"I already did," Jane said with a groan. "I already told her everything. I spilled my heart to her, ma, and she didn't say a _word_. Not one." Jane glanced at her mother, and was suddenly left reeling. "Oh my god," Jane was genuinely horrified. Angela Rizzoli felt guilt as she watched red appear on Jane's neck, and face. "It was you? I-" Jane jumped up, and backed away.

"Janie," Angela was earnestly apologetic. Then. "Yes. It was me, okay?" Jane was pacing back and forth.

"I spilled everything I've been holding inside for _years_ to the very person I was trying to hid it from?" Jane pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes and bent her knees, crouching close to the floor. She felt like she was going to be sick. "The things I said! Why didn't you stop me?! God, I want to kill myself."

"I didn't say anything, because I figured that you really needed to get it out," Angela defended. "No one should have to hold those things inside for so long." Jane let her hands fall away and straightened up. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you felt a need to keep things from me. I'm sorry that you've been so miserable. I never meant that for you. I never wanted that for my own daughter."

"But you did, didn't you?" Jane asked bitterly. "All those times that you talked about finding a man for me… About finding someone to make an honest woman of me? Not to mention, all of those times that you talked about wanting a grandchild? They weren't meant for me?"

"I know," Angela said simply. "I know that I'm part of the problem. And had I realized how much I must have hurt you by saying those things, or how they made you feel as if you to have to hide who you really are, I never would have said those things." Angela was in tears now. "I love you, Janie," Angela's roughened voice reached Jane. "And I am so proud of you. I'm proud of who you are, and I'm proud of the difference you make every day. I wish… I wish that I could take back everything I ever said to you that made you doubt those things." Jane reached up to her cheeks, and was surprised when her fingers encountered dampness. She hadn't realized she was crying. "I want you to be happy, honey. All I really want is for you to be happy." She walked over to Jane, and wrapped her arms around Jane in a vice. "I love you, no matter what."

"You really mean that?" Jane asked hesitantly.

"Of course I mean that," Angela said confidently. "Janie," she said softly. "I want you to understand something. There is more than one way to make an honest woman out of someone. Maura loves you, Jane. And she's already like part of the family."

"It's just…what if things don't work out between us?" Jane asked, letting her fears show.

"What is it that I always used to say?" Angela said in a sing song voice.

"That if you never try, then you'll never know," Jane recited the phrase from memory. "I get that, ma, I do," Jane muttered. "But I stand to lose way too much if things don't work out. Maura means everything to me."

Angela opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Jane's ringing phone. Jane walked over and plucked up the phone from the counter.

"Rizzoli," she heard Jane greet wearily. "Yeah. I'm on my way." She flipped the phone shut.

"Sorry, Ma," Jane apologized, as she turned to face the older woman. "We'll have to continue this conversation later. I've got to go to work." She let out a groan.

"Make sure you get something for breakfast," Angela commanded. "Actually," she corrected. "I'll whip you up something while you're getting dressed, and you can take it on the go."

"Thanks, ma," Jane called as she headed for her bedroom and shut the door behind her with an audible click. Angela would have spent more time reflecting on her conversation with her eldest daughter, but realized that she didn't have time for such a thing.

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Jane let out a deep breath, trying to alleviate some of her own stress. In an effort to get herself to relax, her good hand massaged the back of her neck absentmindedly as she stared down at the paperwork in front of her. She was tired, and her shoulders ached as she leant over her desk, completing more paperwork. She wrote and tidied most of the information inside. Her left hand was throbbing, but she made no effort to cease it. She could swear that she hadn't worked harder than she had in the past few weeks, but she refused to give up on the case. After all, she'd promised the victim's parents that she would get their daughter's murderer and her rapist, and she fully intended to keep that promise.

"What did _you_ do?" Jane looked up to see Frankie charging across the bullpen. She sat up a little straighter and looked around, as if to say, "Who, me?"

"Yeah!" he said loudly. "I'm looking at you, Janie!" Frankie hissed as he stomped up to her desk. She suddenly felt all eyes on her, including Frost and Korsak, "What the hell did you do to Maura?" She silently cursed out her brother, calling him every name she could think of in that moment. Why her brother felt that he had to do this with an audience, she had no idea!

"What?" Jane tried her best to look innocent. "What do you mean?"

"Don't look at me like that, Janie," Frankie commanded as he plopped down into a chair next to her desk. "I know you did something to upset Maura, and…"

"And it's none of your freaking business!" Jane cut him off. She waved her hand in the air. "Don't you dare come after me at work like this again, or I'll have your neck!"

"But…but…but," Frankie raked a hand over his chin and let out a sigh of defeat. "She can't even look at me without crying, Jane. Just when I finally thought things were going somewhere!" Jane suddenly remembered talking to Maura about Frankie, as if she intended on taking their relationship somewhere, and she felt sick. She actually felt physically sick at the idea of Maura dating her brother.

"Are you sure you weren't just making it all up in your head?" Jane had to ask.

"Of course I'm sure," Frankie defended. "I mean we kissed, and she said something about getting together some time soon."

"Stop," the word came out a little more forcefully than intended. Frankie opened his mouth to speak and she said it again. "Stop. Just…Stop," Jane growled. "I do not want to hear about you canoodling my best friend, so just stop. I will say this, however. You're a big boy Frankie, so I'm sure that you can figure out everything for yourself. As far as what happened between Maura and me, that _stays_ between Maura and me. She's the one who wants space from me, and so I'm giving it to her." Jane took a deep breath. A headache was building behind her eyes. "Now," she sighed, "If you don't mind, I would like to get back to work, and you really should too."

"Okay," Frankie nodded slowly. "I…I'm sorry, Jane. I should have realized that things have been hard on you too. It's just hard to see both of you hurting right now. Just…let me know if you need anything, all right?"

"Will do, baby brother," Jane returned, and then set out getting back to work. "Good luck with things on your end," Jane muttered, although she meant quite the opposite. She wanted things between Maura and Frankie to crash and burn.

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Maura was looking through the microscope at one of the slides that Susie had prepared for her, when suddenly she wasn't alone. Everyone in the forensic science department knew that she liked her surroundings to be absolutely quiet when she was making notes. Whomever it was, said nothing, and for a heart stopping moment, Maura thought that it might be Jane. When she finally pulled away from the microscope, however, wearing her glasses, her eyes met that of a different Rizzoli.

"Angela," Maura spoke tremulously, seeing the love in the older woman's gaze. "What brings you here?"

"I'm terribly sorry," the matron of the Rizzoli family apologized, "But I was wondering if you have a minute." Then. "I was sort of hoping that you'd come by the coffee shop this morning, but you never came, and I really need to talk to you."

"Now really isn't a good time," Maura said honestly. She had far too much to do, and not enough time to do it. Plus, she had a feeling what Angela wanted to talk about, and she wasn't sure she could handle it.

"Please. It's important," Angela said earnestly. "It's about Janie. And if you won't listen to her, then at least, please listen to me."

"O-Okay," Maura agreed. "But let's talk in my office, where we won't be overheard." Maura pulled off her glasses and folded them, slipping them into the pocket of her lab coat as she walked. As they reached her office, she ushered Angela inside, and followed her in, shutting the door behind them.

"I'm sorry to bring something personal into your workday. I mean…I know how you like separating your work from your everyday life."

"It's okay, Angela," Maura replied. "But if Jane really has something to say, shouldn't she be the one to say it."

"That's just it," Angela spoke softly, but her signature scratchy voice was still grating. "She told me that she told you a lot of things already, and that you didn't believe her." Angela sighed. "And she's trying to give you the space that you asked for, even though it's nearly destroying my Janie."

"Ange-" Maura tried to quiet the older woman, but she was having none of it.

"My daughter loves you, Maura," Angela said emphatically. "Love. As in head over heels, can't stop thinking about you, love."

"She said so, but does she really know?" Maura asked. "I mean, she was engaged to Casey. He showed up at her place two weeks ago, and I can't start something only for her to change her mind in the end. What if she decides that she'd rather have Casey?"

"She won't," Angela defended. "I promise you that. There's only one person Jane has ever really loved, and that's _you_." Then. "And if I'd been a better mother, I would have told her that it was _okay_ to love you." Tears started building in Angela's eyes, and Maura could hear the change in her voice as she spoke. "I spent a long time, trying to coax Jane into seeing men, as if there were something wrong with her wanting anything else, that I think she actually started to _believe_ that it would be wrong."

"So when she fell in love with you, her best friend," Angela continued, "I think that she started to hate herself for it, for not being what she thought that I wanted. She compartmentalized all of her feelings for you, and denied herself that happiness."

"Then what makes you think that she's ready for a relationship with me?" Maura asked.

"Because she spilled her guts to me over the phone," Angela said in a matter of fact manner. "She umm…. thought I was you at the time, but it doesn't matter." Maura took a deep breath, feeling something shift within her. "She finally admitted her feelings for you, and I think that she's come to accept them. This…. This isn't some test run, made at your expense. My Janie loves you…and I mean really loves you. But if you wait too much longer there might not be much to salvage." Maura sighed. "I know she hurt you. I know how difficult it must have been to walk in on her with Casey. But nothing happened. Jane seems to think that nothing would have happened. She would have stopped it, Maura."

"Yeah," Maura felt her heart beat a little faster. "She would have. If what you're saying is true, I don't blame her for being confused. I just wish we wouldn't have had to hide our feelings for so long."

"I'm sorry, dear," Angela said as she walked over and pulled Maura into a bone crushing hug. "It's partially my fault. I just want the two of you to be happy. So please try and work through whatever there is to work through? Together." Maura nodded against the older woman's shoulder. Slowly, the older woman pulled away. "I'm sorry I took up so much of your time, but I really must be getting back to work, now that I've said everything there is to say."

Maura nodded. "Thank you, Angela."

After the older woman left and shut the door behind her, Maura realized there were tears in her eyes.

"Oh, Jane," she whispered, as she reached up to wipe them away. "Now I've gone and hurt you too." Maura walked over to her phone on her desk and hit Jane's extension number. It rang several times, and then went to voicemail on the fourth, and she realized Jane must not be at her desk.

An idea suddenly dawned on Maura. She pulled up a page on her browser, spotted the phone number she'd been looking for, and made the call.

"Hello, this is Dr. Maura Isles at the Massachusetts M.E.'s office," Maura said formally. "I need to order some flowers for a colleague of mine. I'd prefer lilacs and orchids, if you wouldn't mind." Maura listened to the man on the other end of the phone. "Yes, that would be perfect." Maura smiled. "Could you please have it delivered to me at the Boston Police Department," she briefly rattled off the address, "Yes, that's correct. Great! That way I can slip a note in with the flowers and bring them up to her desk. Thank you." As Maura set the phone back into the cradle, she started to feel the butterflies taking over. She also couldn't stop herself from asking, "What, now?!"

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**A/N: So what do you think is going to happen next? Please review! Constructive criticism is welcome! I don't have any beta readers, so if things don't make sense it helps if you tell me so I can fix it!**


	5. Storm Warning

Title: **My Sundown**

Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T  
Genre: Drama/Angst/Friendship

**Chapter 5: Storm Warning**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: Thanks to all of those that reviewed! I accept that for some of you, this story doesn't work. I understand that some of you disagree with how the characters are acting, but that's the art of the story and the art of free speech. I can write and post a story based on my own perceptions of how the characters might act and react. If you don't like it, you don't _have_ to read. No one is forcing you! That being said, I appreciate those readers who are genuinely interested in this story. I appreciate the positive constructive reviews, as opposed to the ones who call this story a "piece of s***" So thank you to those who like it and _want_ _to_ _read_. I really really hope I don't disappoint you.**

**That being said. This chapter isn't all sunshine and rainbows like you might expect. Remember, Jane found out about Maura's kiss with Frankie, and that lodges some serious doubt in Jane's mind. Please enjoy!**

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The rain poured down over Boston in sheets during the same night in late September as Jane's unmarked car drove through the ghostlike streets of the inner city. It was surprisingly quiet, as most people, had long since fallen asleep in their own beds. It was chilly for the time of year, and it had been raining heavily for several hours without any pause whatsoever, making the roads particularly slick and fierce for even the most experienced drivers. Jane's hands gripped the steering wheel of the car as she blinked repeatedly. She was exhausted. If she'd done the math correctly, she'd been up nearly 40 hours, now.

The Department had been blindsided by another crisis, and they'd been left scrambling trying to protect their witnesses, three teenage girls. Jane was starting to think that the crises were endless. It seemed like every time that she turned around, there was another thing that needed to taking care of. It didn't help that they were short handed, because of yet more cuts to the Boston Police Department. Many employees had needed to pick up the slack when it happened. Jane was no different. As a ten year veteran set on a promotion track, this was a good opportunity for Jane to show the other members of the Department, and more specifically Cavanaugh, that she was willing to do whatever it takes to keep the peace. The Department had taken good care of Jane lately, meeting her request for additional training so that she could take the lieutenant's exam. Jane figured it was time that she earned it. Today, however, Jane was sure she'd earned her salary and then some.

Jane slowly made her way through the inner city, stopping at nearly every intersection. As she pulled up to a red, Jane tried to stifle a yawn. With that thought, Jane checked the clock again and let out an exhausted sigh as she discovered that only a couple of minutes had passed since the last time she'd checked. As a bit of an icebreaker, music wafted through the speakers of her unmarked car. It was almost too quiet to be heard, but Jane figured that any noise at all was better than the haunting silence that lapsed between her and her star homicide witness. Absentmindedly, Jane started to drum in time to the music, using the steering wheel as her instrument.

A smile fell onto her lips as she looked out of the periphery of her gaze to see her passenger drumming on her legs. Jane turned her head.

"Hey," she smiled, "You didn't tell me that you play the drums."

"Eh," the young girl shrugged, "My mom always said that I couldn't seem to keep still. I just like the music. I'd like to be in the drum line next year, but as for right now, I just drum for the heck of it. My mom was right. I… I can't stand staying still." Jane laughed.

"My mom would tell you the same things," Jane said with a smile. "I guess I was just lucky, because I grew up with two brothers and there was always something to do. I was a busy-body." Then. "There are worse things to be."

Elizabeth nodded.

"You know," Jane smiled. "I think you're mom would be proud of you. I think you've got talent," Jane commented. She felt her own spirits lift a little as the young girl smiled.

When Jane pulled up to the motel on the far side of town a few minutes later, Elizabeth was already unbuckling her seatbelt. Jane was starting to get out herself, when her phone started vibrating in her pocket. She let out a groan as she looked down at her watch, wondering who on earth it could possibly be at the late hour. Quickly, Jane reached out to stall Elizabeth as she fished the phone out of her pocket. When she saw the name on the display, Jane's heart clenched painfully in her chest. She squeezed her eyes shut and let out a labored breath as she struggled not to let it ruin her night. Finally, Jane hit the ignore button and slipped it back into her pocket. However, before Jane had a chance to move, it started to ring again, and Jane's heart started beating a little faster in her chest.

"Aren't you going to answer it?" Elizabeth asked softly. Jane just shook her head. She didn't know how to explain to the young girl why she refused to take Maura's phone calls. The fact was, that Jane had been avoiding her best friend ever since her conversation with Frankie. It wasn't for lack of trying on Maura's part, however. Maura had called Jane several times during the afternoon, and had even gotten her flowers. Jane almost felt sorry for her. Almost.

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During her weakest moments, when Jane felt completely alone, she was tempted to call Maura. However, before she managed to finish dialing Maura's number, Jane always managed to stop herself.

Jane shook her head and she was forced to remember how their fight started in the first place.

Jane figured that the problem with being friends with someone as headstrong and stubborn as herself. Jane knew that friendship didn't really stand a chance when neither one of them could seem to communicate their feelings. In this case, it was better that they'd figured it out sooner than later. Jane closed her eyes and let out a sigh. The last words she'd spoken to Maura were cold and harsh. Jane thought that making Maura hurt as she had been hurt, would make it easier to deal with the awful feelings Jane constantly experienced. Even so, it didn't make the pain any more bearable. In a moment of indecision Jane could only stare at the display. After swallowing over the dryness in her throat, the detective stuffed it back into her pocket. Clenching her jaw tightly in an effort to overcome the pain that still throbbed deep in her chest, Jane finally reached for the handle of the car door. She shoved it open ruthlessly and climbed out. Elizabeth mirrored her actions on the other side, holding a bag of food tightly in her hand. Jane had promised the girls the best cheeseburgers on this side of the Mississippi, and hoped that she'd delivered.

As they walked for the stairs, a bad feeling lodged itself deep in Jane's stomach. And as a detective, Jane knew that her gut instinct was usually right. Maura had always been a skeptic, saying that she didn't understand how anyone could 'trust their intestines.' Jane didn't know why she felt that way exactly, but as she started to look around, the feeling only multiplied in intensity. Reflexively, Jane threw her arm out, blocking Elizabeth from moving up the stairs.

"Elizabeth, I need you to take my car keys and go back to the car," Jane commanded softly.

"What? Why?" Elizabeth inquired rather incredulously.

"Elizabeth," Jane breathed as she locked eyes with the young girl. "I need you to trust me on this. Please." The muscles in Jane's temples flexed as her eyes darted all around them.

"Climb into the back seat and lock the doors," Jane instructed as she slipped the keys into Elizabeth's awaiting palm. "More importantly, try and keep from being seen."

"Okay," the young girl finally nodded. Jane watched as Elizabeth moved quickly back to the car. Upon arriving back at the unmarked police car, the girl opened the back door and slid inside.

With one last look at the young girl, Jane moved back to the staircase and proceeded to take the stairs upwards two at a time. Jane became quite annoyed as her phone started going off again in her pocket. She swore under her breath, and pulled it out. She was afraid the loud buzzing would be heard. With a glance at the display she flipped it open.

"Rizzoli," Jane hardly dared to whisper.

"Jane?" Maura's voice had the muscles in the brunette's shoulders tightening uncomfortably. "Is that you? What the heck is going on? I can hardly hear you…."

"What do you want, Maur?" Jane bit out bitterly. On the other end, Maura let out a little sigh, leaning down to rub the exhaustion from her eyes. She couldn't blame the detective for being angry with her. Clearly, neither one of them were very good at cultivating a legitimate relationship. Both had been too stubborn to admit their own faults, and now their chance to fix things were getting slimmer with each passing day of continued silence. Maura realized that she had been childish in her avoidance of the truth. If she had been honest with herself, she would have admitted she had feelings for Jane a long time ago. She'd just been afraid that Jane wouldn't reciprocate those feelings, and that it would ruin any chance that they had at salvaging their relationship. She'd been wrong in her assumption that Jane couldn't possibly feel the same way, and now her best friend could hardly bear to look at her.

What was worse was that she had made Jane beg for forgiveness when she had been equally at fault. If only she'd admitting her feelings to Jane sooner. If only she'd told Jane about her feelings when she'd had the chance, b_efore _Casey had entered Jane's life again, then things might be drastically different.

"Look, Doc, now isn't really a good time," Jane's raspy voice cut in again. "I'm kind of busy."

"So you don't have a minute?" Maura asked softly.

"No, now isn't really a good time," Jane's raspy voice cut in again. "I'm kind of in the middle of something."

"Oh. Sorry," Maura replied just as curtly. "I guess I was just wondering if you were planning on coming over for movie night tonight." Maura paused trying to get a hold on her emotions. She missed Jane, terribly, and she didn't know how much longer she could take the coldness that had plagued their demeanor whenever the brunette was in her presence. When the detective hadn't showed up at the usual time, the M.E.'s heart started aching all over again. "But since what you're doing now is obviously more important I'll let you go."

"Shit," Jane cursed under her breath as she glanced at her watch. "Ugh. I'm sorry. I completely forgot about movie night. I guess I just assumed that with the way things have been..." Jane squeezed her eyes shut as she ran her hand over her face in a stressed manner. "Maur, I'm sorry. I really am." Jane swallowed quickly. "I got put on the protective detail rotation for tonight."

"Oh. Okay," Maura replied, still upset by Jane's neglect. "Well, umm… next time when you can't make it, if you could just call and let me know, I'd appreciate it. That way I'd know not to make anything for you." Maura swallowed, her throat burning. It felt like it was closing in on her. "I'll umm…. Just talk to you later. How about you call me back when you feel like it? Or don't…it doesn't matter."

"Maura…" Jane breathed softly, her tone apologetic. "Hey, I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Jane," Maura cut her off, not wanting to prolong the conversation. "It's not as if you had any control over it."

"Any chance I can head over there early in the morning? Or if you wouldn't mind it, I can stop by your place after I get off the rotation tonight," Jane tried; hoping that she could make it right somehow. She prayed that her best friend and love would cut her a little slack. "I really think we should talk." She was afraid of the honey-colored brunette was shutting her out, but was pleasantly surprised when Maura said.

"Sure, Jane," Maura smiled, hopefully, "I'd really like that. I'll keep some leftovers in the fridge for you."

"Thanks, Maur," Jane breathed. "Okay, well," Jane swallowed thickly, her voice cracking, "Just sit tight and I'll try to…"

Jane stopped abruptly and nearly jumped out of her skin as two loud pops filled the air very close to where she was standing. Jane knew what the sound was, and immediately shifted into cop mode as yet another gunshot went off. As Jane sprang into motion, Jane's sweaty hands couldn't grip the phone tight enough in her hand, and the phone slipped from Jane's fingertips, tumbling down onto the concrete with a loud clatter. The shots were loud enough to be heard from Maura's end. And as the same revelation imbedded itself in Maura's intellectual mind, the floor dropped out from under her. With her heart threatening to stop from sheer panic, Maura found herself yelling into the phone. "Jane?! Jane! What's happening? Jane! Are you okay? Answer me!" But the tall, lean, detective didn't hear her. Jane scooped up the phone whispering urgently into the receiver as she reacted.

"Maura? I need you to do something! You need to call Korsak, and tell him that shots have been fired. Something is wrong. I think someone has found the girls!"

"What about you, Jane? What are you doing?" Maura spoke loudly, obviously distressed. "Jane? You need to wait for help! Jane, you can't go in there by yourself!" Maura was physically shaking. She felt powerless. "Wait for Korsak or Frost! Jane?!"

"Just call them, Maura!" Jane shouted into her phone before it slipped out of her sweaty hands and hit the floor again. This time, however, her phone didn't escape in one piece. The back cover split open and the battery fell out, and suddenly all of Jane's ties to Maura were broken. Jane knew that she couldn't afford the time it would take to fix it. Jane could only hope that Maura would do as she had been asked, and would call Korsak and Frost. Maura would have to deal with whatever things were happening on her end.

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Maura felt overwhelming fear as the line clicked dead, and her line of communication with Jane had been broken. Maura felt completely paralyzed. Ice seemed to run through Maura's veins in a way that chilled her to the bone. Her body couldn't seem to her brain's instructions. Finally, the panic Maura was feeling, as well as the adrenaline that came from experiencing that degree of fear, helped her break free of her mind's constrictions. She hit the button on her phone she'd designated for Korsak, and held it to her ear as the phone promptly started to ring.

Meanwhile, across town, with trembling fingers, Jane unclipped the radio from her belt. This could not be happening.

"This is Detective Jane Rizzoli," Jane spoke quickly. "Badge number Victor 825. This is a 10-13. Shots fired. I repeat. Shots fired. Send backup immediately to 4938 King's Street." Jane was already scrambling towards the sound of the shots. Her adrenaline was pumping as she sprinted down the hallway towards the door at the end. She pulled out her service weapon from her holster as she ran.

Adrenaline raced through her veins as her eyes fell onto the two fallen officers outside the girl's apartment. Bile rose in her throat as she paused outside the door and knelt down to check for a pulse. She couldn't find one, and suddenly she realized just how much danger she was in. They were dead, and the door to the girl's apartment was open. She stayed completely still, listening as best as she could. Finally, after letting her body drive her, Jane sprang to her feet. In her head she counted to five and kicked the door open. A man was inside standing over another fallen officer that was clad in blue. The gun was pointed downwards. The man lifted the gun at her and fired off several shots as she threw herself back out of the doorway. Quickly, she aimed the gun through the doorway and fired off several shots.

One of Jane's shots hit the man and he groaned as he hit the floor. She rushed inside; she had to find the girls. She put a second shot into him for good measure. It was something she rarely did, but her hands were shaking with the rush of adrenaline and the fear in her body. Her shoulders were tight as she moved quickly towards the adjoining room, where the girls were staying, her gun pointed out in front of her. She gasped as her eyes fell on the two young girls, lying in pools of their own blood.

"No," Jane hissed as she rushed through the door, towards the girls. She heard a groan and realized that Christina was still alive. Just as she swiveled side to side to check the room for other occupants, stars exploded behind Jane's eyes as she was attacked from behind. She had been so distracted by what she had seen that she had failed to expect there was another man inside. Jane fell to the floor, and rolled over the surface away from her assailant. She reacted not a moment too soon. Her heart sputtered nervously as two shots were fired from a gun aimed in her direction. He approached her and she swung out a leg, sweeping his feet out from under him. He went down. Hard. Jane pounced on him, trying to wrestle the gun that was still clutched in his hand. With extreme effort, Jane managed to disarm him, and kicked the gun out of his reach. She saw a blinding flash as one of his fists struck her temple, and as warm blood gushed down the side of her face she realized he'd been holding something. It took her a moment to recover, and he was up on his feet before she could react. Jane grunted loudly, and couldn't help but wince as the man aimed a couple of solid kicks to her stomach. With a crack, one of Jane's ribs snapped like a twig. It was suddenly impossible for her to breathe. Jane groaned again, as she rolled over in order to avoid another kick. She had to find a way to get back on her feet. She growled in pain, as she forced her arms and legs to move. She managed to get back on her feet just in time, but was still at a disadvantage when the man charged at her, putting all his weight into the tackle. She hit the opposite wall hard, a mirror breaking behind her. She felt sharp glass cut into her flesh, and she struggled to gain the upper hand as her already throbbing head hit the wall again. It was hard to do so…her vision was blurred, and her reflexes inhibited severely.

"Son of a bitch," Jane growled as she forced her knee into the man's groin, causing him to recoil. She reached up behind his head, and pulled her hands down to meet her knee thrusting upwards. He went still momentarily. Using the leverage of her other leg, she clipped the man's left leg. She threw her weight to one side, using her arms to turn him and throw him into the wall. Unfortunately, the grip he had on her arm was strong and she screamed as it twisted in ways it wasn't meant to. There was no way she was going to give up. Not yet. Jane choked on the air in her lungs as the man reversed their position so that her back was pressed against the very hard, and very unforgiving wall. Her good arm flew up to her neck instinctually as the man pushed his hands forwards against her trachea, trying to cut off her air supply. Jane fought valiantly; she clawed and scratched at the exposed skin of his arm. After a long moment, Jane realized that she wasn't going to get anywhere with only one arm. Even with her strength, she couldn't do pull his hands away without more leverage. In a moment of desperation, she found herself reaching for the lamp she spotted out of the corner of her eye. It seemed just out of reach, but she knew that if she tried hard enough she just might be able to get her hand around it. As the black started encroaching on Jane's vision, her hand curled around the object. Without pause, she brought it down with all her might on the man's skull. With a sickening crack, the man crumpled to the floor. Jane dropped to her knees, coughing, and choking as she struggled to replace the air in her lungs. The detective felt dizzy, and stumbled as she tried to make her way back across the room. After she fell a second time, Jane discovered that her legs were seemingly unwilling or unable to support her. She decided to try her luck at crawling. However, before she made it halfway across the room, she dropped. Her vision blurred in swirls of nonsensical color before black finally encroached and quickly took over. She welcomed it with open arms.

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**Dun...Dun...Dun...**

**A/N: Okay, so I know I'm evil for leaving a cliffhanger like that, but I also have a flare for the dramatic. I hope you liked the chapter. Please review and let me know what you think!**


	6. Won't Give Up

Title: **My Sundown**

Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T  
Genre: Drama/Angst/Friendship

**Chapter 6: Won't Give Up**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

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Jane woke up, feeling as if she couldn't breath. Cough after cough after cough, and the unbearable tickling in her throat told her there wasn't nearly enough oxygen in her lungs. She let out a moan as she tried to roll over. The moan turned into a gasp as a white-hot pain in her midsection reminded her of the few seconds before she blacked out. A brief image of a man dressed all in black, flashed through her mind, and she let out another groan. Another hiss of air escaped parted lips as she pulled at muscles that didn't want to be moved. Every movement resulted in pain as a direct consequence. Small beads of perspiration traveled across bare skin as sweat pooled on her forehead, and on her body. A shiver shot up Jane's spine as the nerves in her body reacted to the tactile receptors in her skin. There was carpet under her hands, cheap carpet, so cheap in fact, that it felt rough and coarse against her skin.

The next awareness she had was of being cold. A shiver rocketed up her spine and her body convulsed. Her eyes flickered open and closed. She tried to move, but ceased in her efforts as her body protested against any movement. Her eyes slowly raked over the dark room as she struggled to figure out if this was a nightmare or reality Tentatively, she reached up to the side of her head, which was still throbbing. She remembered reaching out, trying to latch onto something anything to stop the pressure around her throat, but remembered nothing more. She blinked in astonishment as she pulled her hand away from dampness, covered in a thick sheen of blood. She was losing blood, and from the look of the amount on her hand, she was losing a lot of it. No wonder she felt dizzy. Jane's free hand slid downward to her stomach. She felt sick to her stomach as another blinding pain ripped across her midsection. She couldn't breathe. That's what scared her the most. She struggled not to lose consciousness as the edge of her vision blurred and overwhelming fatigue threatened to take her again.

She was experiencing the strangest feeling. She started to feel detached from it all somehow. Emotionally she no longer felt anything. All of the pain and the feelings of regret that had plagued her these last few minutes were fading, and in its place was a welcoming, warm blackness. With a groan she dropped back to the floor and closed her eyes.

Barry Frost and Vince Korsak, Jane's old partner, were the first on the scene. Korsak had been only a few minutes behind Jane, and had even gained some time after receiving a hysterical call from Maura saying that she heard gunfire and that Jane wasn't picking up her phone. Vince sprinted up the stairs, his heartbeat thundering in his chest. He felt extremely out of shape, as Frost overtook him on the stairs and rushed onwards.

He paused outside the door, checking the guards sprawled outside for a pulse. He clucked his tongue sadly as he felt none. But he couldn't afford to waste any more time. Jane might be hurt, but alive.

He took his stance, counted to five, and rushed through the open doorway.

The silence was unnerving as he rushed into the apartment, his gun aimed in front of him. His head swept from side to side, searching the room for any movement. He hugged the wall, moving further through the room. When he was satisfied that nothing was moving, he called, "Jane?" in a tremulous voice.

"Jane, are you in here?!" Jane heard the voice, but couldn't place it. It sounded so far away and she wasn't sure if she was imagining it. "Jane!" Jane tried to respond, but the best she could do was moan. Her legs curled up into her stomach as she tried to move. She was so tired it was hard to keep her eyes open. They fluttered closed again, finding comfort in Frost's familiar tone. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Frost pushed his way into the second room and his eyes found Jane's fallen form. However, before he could concern himself with anything else, he had to clear the room, and the adjoining bathroom.

Finally, when he was satisfied that they were alone, he dropped to his knees beside her.

There were no words to express Vince's distress as he followed Frost inside. Over the years he had grown incredibly close to Jane. He had grown to love her as a partner and confidante. Korsak hissed in shock as he pushed his way through the door, his heart beating frantically.

"Jane?!" Korsak nearly screamed. "Jane, Where are you?" As he spotted the guard on the far side of the room, the body lying in a pool of blood, Vince thought he was going to be sick. The only thing that pushed him on was the thought that Jane was there somewhere. "For god's sake! Frost?!"

"In here!" the younger man's shout had him turning towards the second bedroom. What he saw had his heart stopping in his chest.

"Jane," Korsak cried out worriedly as he dropped down next to her body. Frost was hovering over Jane's body, his hands gently pressing a white towel to the side of her head, and her eyes were closed. The towel was soaked in blood, stemming from a deep cut near Jane's hairline. Vince felt for her pulse with trembling fingers. Her heart was still beating. It was rapid but steady. Korsak felt immense relief. He fought back all of his own raw emotions as he struggled to hold himself together. Quickly, his eyes and hands roamed over her body, checking for other serious injury.

Jane groaned and hissed at he felt her midsection.

"She's got some other injuries," he said finally. "I think she has a broken rib, or some internal bleeding, but I can't be sure."

"Have you looked at her neck?" Frost asked softly, and Vince took a closer look. Even though he'd seen many things over the years, the experienced detective couldn't stop a, "Holy s***," from escaping. It wasn't as bad as when he'd found Jane after Hoyt had put scalpels through her hands, but it was bad enough.

"Yeah," Frost nodded. "She took a beating. But she won. She was the only one left alive."

Gently, soothingly, Korsak brushed the strands of hair from her face.

"Is she breathing, all right?" Korsak asked. Compliantly, Frost lowered his face so that his cheek was just above hers. He felt a wisp of warm breath against his cheek, and felt relief in knowing she was breathing.

"Yes," he replied, "But it's labored. I hear wheezing."

"Jane," Vince's dulcet voice echoed in the silence. He ran his hand across her cheek, tapping it gently as he tried to rouse her. "Wake up. I need you to wake up." Frost shook her gently again, a low guttural moan escaped Jane's lips as her eyes finally opened.

"Ugh," her voice sounded rough. Her throat hurt like hell and it was hard for her to speak.

"Come back later," Jane groused, "I'm sleeping."

"Uh uh," Frost said chastising, "It's time to get up."

"Five more minutes?" Jane asked as she cracked an eye open. He shook his head.

"Damn," Jane muttered. "I've got one hell of a headache. You know, it sure took you guys long enough to get here," she joked.

"You scared the hell out of us," Korsak, the seasoned detective admitted, hearing sirens in the distance. They were growing closer. Vince jumped as he heard a choking sound across the room. Suddenly, he realized that they had been so focused on Jane that he hadn't done his job. Christina was shaking on the carpet, trying to speak. Korsak rushed over, swallowing painfully as he saw the crimson blood coating the young blonde's shirt.

"Oh my god," he breathed. The girl looked so much like his niece did when she was young. He had a hard time holding back his own tears as he reached out, trying to put pressure on the place where the blood was seeping from her shirt. He knew how much Jane had been drawn to the young girl, and he knew he just had to save her.

"Christina, honey," Vince choked out. "Stay with me. It's okay. We're here. Everything is going to be alright."

"Jane," the girl cried aloud, tears streaming down her face. "Where's Jane?! They were fighting."

"Shh…She's okay," the detective tried to reassure her. He watched as her eyelids closed. "No, Christina. I need you to stay awake for me. It's really important."

"I want to go to sleep," Christina whined. Her breathing was growing shallow.

"I know… But you can't do that," Vince spoke. "Please don't give up on me! I mean it! Come on…stay with me." Korsak managed to get the young girl to hang on long enough for the paramedics to get there.

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Korsak was shaking as arms pulled him away. He watched as they went to work on her, trying to control the bleeding.

"Is she going to live?" Korsak asked one of the EMT's who showed up.

"It's too soon to say," he replied honestly. "The bullet may have hit one of her major organs. We won't know until we get her to the hospital." Korsak nodded. The EMT, seemingly sensing his distress added. "Hey, you did well, detective. You've done everything you could. You controlled the bleeding, kept her in a conscious state." The EMT quickly shifted his attention back to the girl. He watched numbly as the two paramedics rushed from the room, the gurney between them.

"Would you watch it?" he heard Jane hiss towards one of the men fussing over her. "I'm fine."

Vince moved quickly back to Jane's side. The other team of paramedics was looking the female detective over carefully. He watched without breathing as they inserted an I.V. and started pumping fluids into her. They were checking her over for injuries, and trying to stop the excessive bleeding from the cut on her forehead. Korsak couldn't believe the amount of blood pouring from the open cut. Head wounds typically bled a lot, but this cut was deeper than usual.

A piercing scream had Frost and Korsak whipping around. Horrified blue eyes stared at Laura's lifeless body. Thanks to Frost's good reflexes, he managed to catch Elizabeth before she fainted, though as he stole a glimpse at Laura, he nearly fainted himself. When she came to a couple of moments later, he thrust a trashcan under her, as she got sick. Tears were pouring down the girl's face as her body was raked by uncontrollable sobs.

Frost did the only thing he could think of in that moment. He led her outside.

Minutes later, Vince was losing his resolve. Jane was drifting in and out of consciousness, seemingly on the brink. Korsak was petrified she had sustained some sort of serious head injury.

"There has to be something more that you can do!" Korsak spoke angrily as they carefully turned Jane's body, putting her on a backboard.

"We're doing everything we can," one of the paramedics, replied. One of them continuously started snapping their fingers, trying to get Jane's brain to respond to the external stimulus. Jane blinked, moaning softly. She had one killer headache.

"She's coming around again," one of the paramedics announced suddenly as he shined a light into Jane's chocolate brown eyes, checking to see if her pupils reacted to the light source. Her pupils were dilated and not responding to the light source, a sure sign of a concussion. Korsak pushed his way to Jane's side. "Jane? Janie, can you hear me?" Vince dropped to his knees next to Jane, grabbing the brunette's hand. He watched Jane blink, her eyes nearly black. Jane, overwhelmed by pain rolled her head back and forth slightly, closing her eyes. She moaned. "Janie?" The brunette's eyes opened again. Vince could hardly breath as Jane stared blankly at the ceiling. She looked disoriented and confused.

"What… What happened?" Jane choked out, reaching up to where her temple was throbbing. Immediately she started trying to take control of the situation. She wanted…no needed to get back in control. She struggled to move, but her legs and arms were not moving in agreement to her mind's commands. It was incredibly frightening for her to feel so powerless. When you know something could be seriously wrong…

"Miss," one of the paramedics addressed her, "Easy. You've been in and out of consciousness. You hit your head pretty hard. Do you remember what happened?"

"Of course I remember what happened," Jane grumbled as she tried to sit up. "I got the ever loving crap beat out of me, that's what happened."

"Janie," Korsak was losing patience, "Would you just sit still and let these kind gentlemen help you?"

"I don't need help!" Jane shouted. "Just get me fucking aspirin, for crying out loud!"

While one of the paramedics tried to explain why they couldn't just give her an aspirin with the magnitude of Jane's blood loss, the other of the paramedics took Korsak aside. "I'm afraid we're going to have to sedate her. With all this moving, she could worsen her injuries. She might have a spinal injury."

"Do whatever you have to do," Korsak said simply. "Jane's stubborn. She doesn't always listen when she should." The paramedic nodded and walked back to his medicine bag.

Jane rolled her head back and forth again, trying to rid it of the throbbing that was so excruciating. The paramedics gently tried to keep her from moving her neck. They were trying to fasten her neck with a brace, but she wouldn't let them. "I'm alright. I just don't feel so hot." Jane started gagging as swirls of color filled her vision, making her dizzy and leaving her stomach a churning mess.

"She's going to be sick," the paramedic that talked to Korsak breathed. His name was Jake. Together they rolled Jane onto her side as she threw up into the basin, moans escaping her body. Vince watched all of this painfully. He didn't let go of the detective's hand. When Jane was done getting sick, they rolled her onto her back. Jake injected several drugs into her I.V. He heard Jake tell Jane it was for the pain and nausea. Then, last, he gave her the sedative.

"Janie!" Frankie's hysterical shout preceded him by only a couple of seconds. He barged into the room. "Maura just called. She said you were in trouble," Frankie took a deep breath, hoping to calm himself a little. He let out a sigh of relief as his eyes settled on her. "Oh! Thank god you're all right."

"I'm sorry for this, but I need to make sure you're lucid. Do you remember your name?" One of the paramedics asked.

"I…" Jane squeezed her eyes shut for a long moment. "Of course I remember my name," Jane tried to stall. "It's umm…Jane? Jane Rizzoli."

"Oh, Janie," Frankie breathed as he took in her battered appearance. "Just take a minute," he said softly as he started running his fingers over the inside of her forearm. Jane moaned again. It seemed that she couldn't help it, and from the nasty cut and bump on the side of Jane's face, Frankie didn't blame her. The whole left side of her forehead was raised and bruised. "Do you know who I am?"

"What kind of question is that?" Jane replied. "As if I could ever forget you, lil' brother."

"Good," Frankie breathed in relief. Korsak had to look away as tears started building in his eyes. He watched as Frankie placed a soft kiss to the top of Jane's head. Jane moaned softly. "I swear to god, you really had me going for a minute there. And you should know, I don't scare easily."

"I'm sorry," Jane breathed. She took a moment to stare deep into his reflective eyes, and immediately knew she was safe.

"Me too," Korsak said earnestly. "I should have gotten here faster. Hey, Janie?"

"Mmm?" Jane hummed softly, her eyelids drooping slightly.

"Don't you ever pull something like this again," Vince pleaded. "Or I swear that I will not be held accountable for my actions. You can't keep scaring the hell out of me like this."

"Me too." Frost added.

"Hey. Look on the bright side. At least I didn't get shot," Jane replied, hoping to achieve the humorous factor. Unfortunately, it didn't work. "Not helping?"

"No," Frankie shook his head. "No. Definitely not helping. But I do appreciate that you avoided getting shot."

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By the time Maura arrived at the motel to fulfill her duties as Massachusetts's chief medical examiner, the scene was surrounded by utter and complete chaos. Her heart started to pound uncontrollably as her eyes took in all of the police cars and their flashing blue and white lights. She started choking on the air in her lungs as she watched two paramedics rushing to an ambulance with a gurney. She couldn't see who was on it, and that scared her even more. She sprinted towards them, gasping as she laid eyes one of the young girls Jane had been protecting.

"Oh my god," the words fell from Maura's lips. She tried to grab the arm of one of the men clad in light blue as they lifted the gurney into the back of a waiting ambulance. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Miss…" the paramedic looked over his shoulder. "We have to get her to a hospital now. I'm sorry, but I don't have time to answer questions."

"What are her injuries? I just want to know if she's going to live?!" Maura shouted a little more harshly than intended.

"I don't know," the paramedic replied. "I'm sorry." Then he added. "All I can say is that the sooner we get her to the hospital the better her chances are." Maura nodded, watching as the paramedic hopped into the back, pulling the doors shut behind them. She watched as the vehicle sped off into the night, its sirens blaring loudly.

"Miss, you need to get back behind the tape," an officer approaching her spoke. "This is a crime scene."

"I'm sorry for the confusion," Maura breathed as she pulled out her ID and showed it to the man, "I'm Dr. Maura Isles, chief M.E. from the M.E.'s office." Maura let out a ragged breath, visibly distressed. She looked around, trying to make sense of what was happening. "Where are the bodies?" Maura's heart stopped. Frost would have called her if Jane was one of those bodies, wouldn't he? Still, Maura's world was sent spinning at the thought Jane could be hurt.

"Still upstairs," the man replied.

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Maura swallowed as the realization hit her. Before the officer could speak another word, the young doctor was sprinting for the stairs like her life depended on it. It was a pain in the ass to run in heels, but her body wouldn't let her slow down. Her mind automatically assumed the worst. Her chest felt like it had been ripped open. As she approached the door, she tried to brace herself for what was on the other side. Quickly she pushed her way inside, knowing that if she hesitated to long she wouldn't be able to bring herself to go in. The streaks of red coating the walls in the first room had her choking back vomit. This wasn't the first sign she was too emotionally involved. Usually, Maura could detach herself from the scientific sights and smells of a dead body. Her eyes raced around the room, as she practically hyperventilated. When she realized Jane was not in the first room, Maura's feet carried her towards the other door. Maura slipped inside; nearly crying out as her eyes found Korsak, Frost, Frankie Rizzoli and two paramedics huddled over a body on a gurney.

For a heart stopping moment, she seriously thought that Jane could be dead.

Then she heard it, like music to her ears, the body on the gurney was moving, talking. Hell, the brunette was even acting like herself, stubborn as hell.

"Janie, no," Frankie was reprimanding her, trying to hold her down.

"Stop it," Jane bit back. "I'm fine. Seriously." The persistent detective grunted as she struggled to a seated position. "It's just a bump on the head. Help me up."

"Jane, for god's sake," Korsak nagged. "You blacked out. You could have internal injuries. Lay back down on the damned gurney."

"Make me!" Jane grumbled, pushing Frankie's hands away almost immediately. Maura stepped around one of the paramedics, sucking in a breath as her eyes fell over Laura's still body. For a long moment, Maura squeezed her eyes shut; she turned away quickly, throwing her arm out against the wall. She rushed from the room, knowing she was going to get sick and that this time there was absolutely nothing she could do to stop it.

Maura was getting sick into the trash bin outside. She groaned when two gentle hands pulled her hair out of the way. A quick glance over her shoulder revealed Korsak.

"You…you don't have to do this," Maura managed to choke out between wretches. She felt incredibly embarrassed. She'd never gotten sick at the sight of a body before. Never.

"Yes I do," Vince whispered softly. "She'd want me to."

"Ugh," Maura groaned, "I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I've never gotten sick at a crime scene. Ever."

"I don't really know what to say," Vince replied, "Except for the fact that you're human. It happens."

"I…Is she going to be okay?" Maura tried to ignore the tears that were seeping from her eyes. She didn't need to define whom she was referring to.

"I think so," Vince replied, "she's on her way to the hospital to get checked out."

"Jane's lucky to be alive. She went in alone," Korsak sighed, shaking his own head.

"It could have been pretty bad, couldn't it have?" Maura asked looking into Korsak's eyes. She felt a painful squeeze of her heart as she watched him swallow, before he finally managed a nod.

"It could have been bad," he confirmed. "Really bad. Whomever it was that attacked Jane, we believe was affiliated with the crime ring the girls were slated to testify against. From the mess inside, I would say Jane fought for her life tonight. All I can say is, thank god, she won."

"Yeah," Maura moaned, sinking to her knees. Suddenly, she was curling into a ball on the ground her body shaking with countless sobs. Jane and Maura weren't just messing around. It wasn't a fluke, a fling. They were genuinely in love with one another, and they were equally bound by that love. With that one thought, Maura realized that this made things so much more complicated. It made her head swim, and made her wish that she had told Jane about her feelings sooner.

"Well," Korsak cleared his throat, "I need to run to the hospital to check on Jane, and see if Cristina is going to make it. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah," Maura breathed, sniffling. "I have to stay and examine the bodies, but I'll be heading to the hospital afterwards."

"Okay," he nodded. Maura watched him go through shimmering eyes.

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**A/N: Poor Maura! More to come! Please review and let me know what you think!**


	7. Long Road To Ruin

Title: **My Sundown**

Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T  
Genre: Drama/Angst/Friendship

**Chapter 7: Long Road To Ruin**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**_Thank you to all of my readers for your follows/reviews! I greatly appreciate all of the constructive criticism and input that you have given me thus far! :) I give virtual puppies, kittens, and tortoises to all of you! Well, either that or Tamagotchi pets! Remember those?! (Please say that you do! Otherwise, I'm just plain old.) _**

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"I'm very pleased to say that you suffered no broken bones, apart from a hair-line fracture of the eighth rib on the right hand side," Doctor Jeffries, a young emergency room doctor, announced while holding Jane's medical records to his chest.

"What about her wrist?" Korsak asked.

"She may have suffered a sprain as well as some deep tissue bruising," the clean cut, blonde doctor with deep blue eyes replied, "But with some ice, and some Motrin or Aspirin, it should be feeling better in no time."

"Can I go home then?" Jane asked anxiously.

"I'm afraid that we need to keep you overnight for observation," Dr. Jefferies replied, much to Jane's abject horror. She shook her head, and quickly regretted doing so when the room spun. "You sustained significant trauma to the head. And although the CT didn't show any bleeds, it doesn't mean that one couldn't develop. Sustaining a moderate concussion such as you did, tends to carry a set of symptoms with it that can be dangerous and debilitating. It's simply safer for you to remain here tonight, where we can keep an eye on you."

"What if I were willing to sign an AMA form?" Jane asked. Korsak groaned, and the doctor looked to him for a moment before looking back at Jane.

"It's really not a good idea, Detective," he stood his ground. "I understand your desire to sleep in your own bed tonight, but it's simply not worth the risk."

"I have a Doc that'll take care of me, if that's what you're worried about," Jane said finally, though she had no intention of being Maura's burden.

"What's her name?" the doctor asked, pen ready.

"Dr. Maura Isles," Jane replied smugly. "You probably haven't heard of her, because she deals with dead people, but she's sure as hell qualified to take care of me."

"I'll give her a call," Dr. Jefferies said honestly, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to step out for a moment. I'll be back just as soon as I can." Jane nodded and watched him go.

The second the door closed, Jane dropped the façade. Before she'd been flippant, her normal stubborn self. But now that the door was closed and it was just her and Vince, the deception dropped.

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"Jane?" Vince's voice was soft and sympathetic as he sat down on the chair next to Jane's bed. His hand reached out to give her arm a squeeze. She was hunched forwards with her warm hands pressed to her face. Vince knew that it was her way of building a wall between herself and the world around her. Jane's shoulders shook as she tried to hold back the tears. Her throat burned like it was on fire, and Jane's vision blurred as tears filled her eyes. She knew that there were no words that could accurately describe the pain that she felt. Jane squeezed her eyes shut, her mind replaying what had happened. A teenage girl was dead. God, a girl was dead because of her; because she had messed up. Jane rubbed furiously at her contorted features as the tears fell and streaked down her cheeks. She was so young, and had her whole life ahead of her, and now she was gone. Her shoulders shook harder. It was days like this that made Jane wonder if she could handle what she did for a living. In some cases, she literally had lives in her hands. People were dependent on her to make the right decision. Today she had made the wrong choice, and because of that, a girl was dead.

Jane's elbows rested on the muscular part of her thighs just above her knee. She and Vince sat in silence for a few minutes. She was waiting for him to give up and walk away, but he knew her too well. He refused to leave her alone. Finally, the tears stopped coming and Jane hastily wiped away all evidence of their existence. She pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to ease the tension that was building behind her eyes. She knew she'd probably get a migraine later. For some reason, she always got headaches after she cried. She remained disconsolate as she started down into the bleached white sheet covering her lower body. The doctor had stepped out for a minute. Vince looked up to see several news vans arriving outside, and knew that Jane would want to get away from the hospital before any reporters even knew she was even there. Korsak let out another sigh as reached over to rub her back. "Janie, talk to me," Korsak pleaded. "I can see you're hurting. Please talk to me."

"I don't want to talk about it," Jane choked out, hands falling away from her face. She continued to purposely avoiding Vince's eyes. She looked away, staring into nothing. Her breaths still came in uneven rasps, but her chest didn't feel as tight as it had only moments before. Her heart ached though.

"I feel so… " Jane choked out after a long uncomfortable silence, "so empty." Jane cleared her throat and sniffled at the same time, hoping that what she said made sense to the sergeant. It took a lot of effort just to regulate her breathing. "Only it doesn't make it hurt any less, like you might expect." She took a deep quavering breath and started crying all over again. "God, it hurts. It hurts so much."

"I know," Vince agreed softly. "I'm sorry, Jane."

"When it was happening?" Jane breathed. "I honestly thought it was a nightmare," Jane's voice was grated and scratchy. It sounded so unlike what she was used to. "In fact, I was so sure of it." Jane swallowed thickly. "I left to get some dinner, and left those girls without an experienced deputy. How could I mess up like that?"

"Jane," Vince shook his head, wishing he could take away her pain. "It wasn't your fault. You could have easily been there, and it still might have happened. They were professionals."

"It's my job to protect," Jane choked out, not willing to let her off the hook that easily. "Today, it was my duty to keep those girls safe, and I failed to do that." Her throat was dry and sore, and it felt like she had something stuck in her windpipe.

"It's not your fault," Vince tried to tell her. "Janie, you did everything you could. What happened in there? It was an impossible situation. There was no right move to make. Frankly, I don't think that there is anything you could have done differently. They would have gone after those girls, no matter what."

"No," Jane shook her head. "That's not good enough." Jane's voice cracked. "I should have been there." Jane's jaw clenched tightly, and Korsak watched the muscles twitch in Jane's temple. "I think the worst thing about this whole situation is that he's still out there. He got away. God, I should have fought harder. If I'd been able to subdue him, then…"

"We'll get him, Janie," Korsak spoke reassuringly. "His description has been sent to every department in the area. We have a warrant out for his arrest, a BOLO order, and an APB. Someone will recognize him. He won't get away with it."

Jane sighed, sitting up straight. Slowly she pushed herself to the edge of the bed and stepped off, so that she was standing. She stared off into space for a long moment before she was able to compose herself and gather her thoughts.

He tried to give Jane's shoulder a squeeze. She knew it was meant to be comforting, but she really didn't want to be touched at the moment. She really didn't like contact unless she initiated it. Jane took a step back, putting distance between them.

"Don't," Jane muttered as a warning.

"Look, I'm just trying to help, okay? I want to make it better," Korsak said calmly.

"Well, you can't! Alright?" Jane replied in slight exasperation. "You can't fix this, Vince. You can't make me feel better!" Jane pulled her badge out of her pocket, and set it on the table. "God, I'm so fucking tired," Jane whined, "Look, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Okay?"

"I'm not leaving, Janie," Korsak said stubbornly. "Because I know you." He looked at her, holding her gaze. "The second I leave? You're checking yourself out of here."

"I'm leaving regardless of what you do," Jane argued.

"Janie, no!" Korsak protested.

"I've had one hell of a fucking day," Jane said simply. "And I'm sleeping in my own bed tonight."

"The hell you are," he said simply.

"I want to go home," Jane whined.

"I know you do," Korsak spoke sympathetically. "But the doctor wants to keep you for observation tonight. I know you don't have any major broken bones, but you took a hell of a shot to the head, and…"

"And I'm conscious," Jane cut him off. "I'm perfectly lucid."

"But you weren't at the scene," Korsak argued. "You were in and out, Janie. Sure, nothing showed up on the CT, but even the doctor said that you had a moderate concussion and that a brain bleed was possible."

"What do you want me to say, Vince?" Jane snapped. "I'm sore as hell. And it's not like I'm ready to do jumping jacks right now, or bench lifts, but I'll be fine. The only thing that I want?" Jane's voice inflected. "Is some fucking privacy!" Then. "I don't want to have to stand here and have some fucking therapy session with my former partner." Ouch. That stung. "I'm standing here in a hospital gown, for Christ's sake. I let them look me over like you asked. What more can you possibly want from me?"

"I don't know!" Vince threw up his hands, feeling wounded by Jane's words. He tried to see it from her point of view. "Look, I get it, okay? I wouldn't want to deal with all of this either." He took a deep breath. "I'm just trying to look out for you, partner."

"I know," Jane sighed sadly as she sank back onto the mattress. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Korsak said earnestly. "I get it. The last thing that you want right now is to talk about your feelings and how you feel like shit because a girl died on your watch today. But I'm not letting you punch out until I know that someone's going to be looking after you tonight."

"Deal," Jane agreed. "But I'm getting dressed, and we're going to check on Christina now." Korsak nodded.

"I'll step out," he offered. "Are you sure you don't need me to ask the nurse to help you?"

"I have a cracked rib and a sprained wrist," Jane said with a hushed tone of annoyance. "I'll manage. I mean…it's not like it's rocket science, is it?"

"You know," Korsak chuckled, making empty threats, "If you don't stop being such a pain in the ass, I might have to call Maura for help. I bet you'd like that, wouldn't you? You know, her dressing you? Or would that be _un_-dressing you?"

"Get out! Jane shouted at him as she threw a pillow in his direction.

"You missed!" he taunted as he walked out and shut the door.

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"Vince!" Maura's voice echoed down the hall as she approached them at a near run. She had gotten held up at the crime scene, doing preliminary examinations of the bodies that littered the girls' temporary apartment. Maura had also been quite preoccupied. She was still trying to pay for Elizabeth's entrance into Witsec, hoping that they, at the very least, could keep her safe. Jane had said that she wanted to place her with a nice family.

When Maura approached the two detectives at the hospital, they looked beyond beaten. Maura took note of how Jane's hands trembled. Jane tried to hide it, of course, but Maura could see it. The medical examiner knew what it meant, too. Jane's hands always shook when she was under a great deal of emotional stress. Jane was extremely good at hiding how she was feeling, but by looking at Jane's hands, Maura could usually tell when she was distraught. Maura expected Jane put a lot of effort into learning to conceal her innermost feelings, because Jane rarely gave away what she was thinking or feeling. After all, showing emotion in such a position of authority was considered a sign of weakness, and Jane didn't want the men she worked with to think she wasn't strong or tough enough to do her job.

A lot of the time Maura wished that Jane would just let her in, but the detective seemed bound and determined to keep a wall up between her and everyone else. Maura expected it had a lot to do with the things Jane has been through in the past. Maura knew that Jane had discontinued her partnership with Korsak because of the fact that he had been the one to see her at her most vulnerable. Jane claimed that the man couldn't possibly have confidence in her when he'd seen her pinned to the floor with Hoyt holding a scalpel to her throat. Maura knew this to be Jane's own construct, since Korsak has expressed his envy of Frost on several occasions. He's even sworn that he would never think less of her, but Jane was bound and determined to hold him at a distance. Maura knew that the things in Jane's past only made the woman stronger. Not many people could go through something like that, and come away from it a better person.

Maura watched as the detective's hands kept curling into fists before uncurling again. She knew that they must have been hurting her. And so she watched, completely entranced by the way her hands kept tightening then relaxing. Jane's strong shoulders remained tight, squared and intimidating. Finally, Jane let out a deep huff of air and clasped her hands tightly in front of her, hoping that it would still her hands. It didn't work. Jane had never felt so desperate for something to release the fury pent up in her body. It felt like she might explode if she didn't get out her anger somehow. Maura swallowed uncomfortably as her eyes raked up and down Jane's body. Jane finally gave up. She walked to the wall, put her back to it and slid down, crumpling into a mess of arms and legs that loosely resembled a heap. She watched as Jane let out a groan, and dropped her head into her right hand. Maura knew she was watching Jane break apart. Out of respect, she wanted to look away, but she couldn't. She remained transfixed as Jane's trembling hand ran through her hair, trying to comb her way through the tangled mess. Jane's breathing was erratic. For the first time since they'd met, Jane seemed unable to hide from her. Maura took in Jane's disheveled appearance, wishing that she could take the woman's pain away. Jane was a mess, although, it was understandably so.

As a doctor, Maura couldn't help but think that brunette should really be in a bed resting, but figured that Jane had more to do with her current state than the doctor. Leave it to Jane to shun an experienced Doctor's order. In addition to some minor scrapes and bruises on Jane's face, a neat row of stitches covered the woman's left temple, lip, and cheek. What was even more disturbing than the rest, however, was the striated appearance of the brunette's neck. Maura let out a gasp as Jane let her head fall back against the wall with a dull thud. The brunette's curls fell away from Jane's neck, and Maura saw the purple lines marring the side of Jane's neck. They hadn't been nearly as visible back at the crime scene. Maura felt sick to her stomach as she realized just how close Jane must have come to certain death.

At that moment, Jane finally spared a look in her direction, acknowledging Maura's existence. It was a hard thing to do, given the chasm that had opened up between them lately, but it seemed like they were both finally ready to acknowledge that they needed one another. Maura found it hard to breath as she watched Jane's eyes flicker in her direction before the brunette quickly looked away again. Jane squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that she wouldn't lose what little respect she had left by crying in the middle of the hallway. Maura's eyes flickered over to Korsak, who looked as equally torn up about what to do. His eyes met Maura's, and then flickered back to Jane. The Boston Police Detective looked unbelievably exhausted. To say that it had been a hell of a week would be a complete understatement. This one case was seemingly destroying them all. Jane took a deep breath as she opened her eyes.

She desperately wanted to make things right with Maura, but she wasn't sure how to go about it. She'd also never been very good at maintaining relationships, because she was too stubborn and often held onto grudges.

"Janie," Korsak's voice filled the silence between them. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Jane's voice was hardly recognizable. Her usual husky alto, sounded like it had been replaced with sandpaper. "It's just… I could really use some something to drink. I-I think I'm going to go get a coffee or something," Jane mumbled, pushing herself up from the floor. She stumbled and Maura took a step forwards, wanting to help. The glare she got for invading Jane's personal space, however, had her retracting her offer. "I'll be back," Jane spoke as her eyes met Korsak's.

"Okay," Korsak replied, knowing that she needed a minute to pull herself together again. The way he had found her tonight had nearly scared the hell out of him. She declared adamantly that she was fine, and refused to accept that she might not be. Maura watched Jane turn the corner and she felt an undeniable urge to follow after the older woman. The honey-colored brunette had wanted to stay close to Jane, so that she could make sure that her friend was in fact 'all right' as Jane seemed to keep insisting. At the same time, however, she knew Jane didn't like to talk about her feelings and probably wouldn't want anyone around when she was reflecting on what had happened at the motel.

Maura finally swallowed her pride. She was willing to be the sacrificial lamb so long as it meant that Jane had someone to comfort her. Jane clearly needed someone to hold her up. Maura caught up with the impenetrable, guarded detective at the vending machines. Maura could tell by the set of her shoulders that she was prepared for anything. And yet, Jane also looked as if she might blow over in a gentle breeze. Maura watched the woman closely. She was tapping her fingers on the side of the coffee machine as she waited for it to dispense the rest of her coffee. Maura took a deep breath and slowly closed the distance between them. Jane looked over her shoulder and finally turned around as Maura approached. The clicking of heels on the floor that was so undeniably Maura had alerted Jane to the fact that she was being followed, but she'd let Maura come to her of her own accord. Jane knew Maura would want to talk. Jane swallowed, tugging her shirt's collar up around her neck so that Maura wouldn't have to see it.

"Jane," Maura spoke softly, her voice quavering. Jane watched carefully as a swell of emotions swept across Maura's beautiful and symmetrical features. There were so many that Jane had a difficult time naming them all. However, the shimmering in Maura's eyes told the detective all she needed to know. Maura was experiencing, sadness, fear, and regret. Jane knew, because she was feeling them too. Jane opened her arms in a silent invitation, and Maura took it without any hesitation whatsoever. She rushed forwards into Jane's awaiting arms, and suddenly, Jane couldn't bring herself to care about the stupid fight they'd had. Sure, there were some unresolved issues, and some hurt feelings, but they could overcome it all with patience and some hard work. Maura didn't care if she violated her role as the best friend. She wanted to hug Jane in the middle of the freaking hallway, and as far as Maura was concerned, anyone who had an issue with their display of affection could go screw himself or herself.

"Maura," Jane grunted as the shorter, immaculately put together woman threw her arms around her friend's lean body and buried her face in crook of Jane's shoulder. Jane closed her eyes, taking a long minute to breathe in Maura's comforting scent. Despite the fact that Jane had to do it shallowly, Jane got her fill, letting Maura's sweet scent fill her up. Jane's side ached as if there was no tomorrow.

Jane held Maura just as tightly, never wanting to let go. She felt the light haired brunette's raw pain as Maura's body started to shake uncontrollably in her arms. Jane's body tightened, unprepared for Maura's very violent breakdown. Maura rarely cried, if ever, and so Jane knew that Maura must be really upset. Jane swallowed painfully. She felt so very awful for causing Maura's pain, as the woman in her arms let out sob after sob. Korsak, who had followed to make sure everything was okay, watched the exchange, feeling like a complete outsider. He was stunned by the connection the two of them seemed to share. It was as if they felt deeper than most. He wasn't even sure he had ever shared such a moment with anyone.

"I'm sorry," Jane breathed, brushing her fingers gently through Maura's hair. "I didn't mean to scare you." Maura brushed Jane's side as she ran the one hand which had settled on Jane's back upward, causing her breathing to hitch as she pull away. "Oww… Oww."

Maura looked into Jane's doe-like brown eyes. "Cracked rib," Jane whispered as an explanation.

"Oh…" Maura looked apologetic. "Jane, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," Jane replied, starting to pace back and forth. "Now get back here," Jane whispered, pulling Maura tightly against her one more, "I'm not done with you yet." And just like that, they settled back into the embrace, holding it for another long moment. They breathed in one another, feeling the things they were communicating then were so much more than simple words could possibly express.

"I told you not to go in," Maura lectured finally, "Why couldn't you listen? You could have gotten yourself _killed_."

"I know…I know it was stupid," Jane whispered, just loud enough for her to hear. Jane didn't like admitting she was wrong, but Maura seemed to make her want to swallow her pride. "All I could think was that I had to protect those girls. I was _supposed_ to protect them."

"I understand," Maura responded. "But somewhere in there," The doctor indicated Jane's head, "You have to realize that it's just as important to protect yourself." Another quaver overtook Maura's body. "I can't ever loose you, Jane. Do you understand that?"

"Maur," Jane's voice pleaded.

"No…" Maura cut her off, "This is in no way negotiable. I'm sorry I've been an awful friend lately. I get that. And I know that I was wrong to handle everything the way I have. But you don't get to do stuff like that." Maura pulled away slightly framing Jane's face with her hands. "Jane, look at me." Jane out of her own insecurity had difficult holding Maura's entrancing hazel eyes. But soon enough, Jane's doe-like brown eyes were staring into warm amber. Jane swallowed over the pain in her throat as she saw the redness and tears built up in Maura's eyes. "I need you…I need you more than I've ever needed someone in my whole life and that scares me. I won't make it if something happens to you."

"Nothing is going to happen to me," Jane replied, earning a slight shove from Maura.

"You don't know that!" the young doctor replied, bordering on the edge of her own composure. "You don't get to make that promise!" Maura's voice shook again as she spoke. "Do you know how many bullets it takes to rip you away from me?" A beat. "One. One shot, Jane. One measly bullet, traveling at the speed of sound."

"Maur," Jane squeezed her eyes shut, knowing all too well how many it took. She could remember the agony she'd felt as the bullet tore through her in front of the precinct ruthlessly. She remembered the blood, seeping out of her body. She remembered feeling so cold, as if she might freeze to death. Tears leaked down Jane's cheeks.

"You know I know that. I felt your blood on my hands," Maura said finally. "And no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to forget how that felt." Jane opened her eyes, brushing her forehead against the light haired medical examiner gently.

"I'm sorry," Jane apologized. And then she shocked everyone, by pressing her lips to Maura's and kissing her as if her life depended on it. As she pulled away, both were more than a little breathless.

"Have you heard anything yet?" Maura asked softly, wanting to change the subject out of fear that she wouldn't be able to stop kissing Jane, if it came to it.

"We're still waiting," Korsak replied for Jane softly, sneaking a look at the two woman. Jane felt uncomfortable as she felt Vince's eyes on them. Carefully she pulled away. Maura, who was afraid they had already made enough of a public display, gave Jane some distance. Jane looked at Maura, feeling heat flow into her cheeks. She looked away quickly, pretending to take interest in something else.

Jane, feeling the loss of contract, reached up to her necklace, squeezing the small heart between her thumb and forefinger as she started to pace back and forth. Maura wanted to say something more than she ever had before, but couldn't bring herself to say a word. Jane looked so devastated, and Maura could only suspect that the woman blamed herself. Jane jumped as a voice broke her from her thoughts, and a man suddenly appeared. She hadn't even been aware of another presence until that moment. She looked up from the floor to meet the sympathetic gaze of the man standing in front of them in deep green scrubs.

"Detectives," the man nodded curtly. The three of them nodded, urging him to continue.

"Please tell us it's good news," Korsak commented aloud. Maura bit down on her lip, watching as Jane braced herself for what came next, good or bad.

"As much as I'd like to do that, I'm afraid that I can't," the doctor met Maura's eyes first, noticing that she was the one who looked the calmest of the three, before continuing to the other two. Maura watched as Jane's jaw gritted against itself as the brunette tried to hold back her emotions. "Her chances of waking up are very slim, I'm afraid. She suffered from extensive bleeding in her thoracic cavity. The severe amount of blood loss deprived her heart, brain and lungs of the blood flow necessary to sustain tissue life. A good portion of the myocardium has died. She's on life-support, but isn't expected to make it back from this."

"_She_ has a name you know," Jane's voice spit out a bit hostilely. "Christina. She's 14 years old!" It was bitter and harsh, and not at all Jane. Maura was rather shocked by the tone of voice. Maura opened her mouth to say something against Jane's apparent disrespect, but Vince beat her to it.

"Janie," Korsak said calmly, reaching out to grab her shoulder.

"Sorry," Jane muttered, her eyes flickering to meet the doctors. "I'm out of line."

"It's alright," he assured her, "I'm used to having to be the one to bear bad news. I just want you all to know that I really am sorry. We did everything we could." The three of them nodded in sync.

"May I see her?" Jane asked sadly.

"Of course," he replied, "Would you like to see her now?" Jane nodded.

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Together they headed for the ICU. Maura lingered a step or two behind, feeling as if she didn't belong. When they neared the room, Korsak grabbed Maura's arm, holding her back.

"Give her a minute," he whispered softly in her ear. "She blames herself for this. She needs to make her amends."

Nothing had ever prepared her for the look of pure anguish on Jane's face as the brunette walked out of the room several minutes later. She had never seen the woman come apart like this in front of her before. Jane's body shook with suppressed sobs. Then just as suddenly, the brunette was trying to shove them back into the depths where they could not be seen. Jane squeezed her eyes shut.

"Janie," Vince's soft voice sounded halfway between a plea, and a caress of comfort. Maura watched as Jane's former partner reached out for her. She silently wondered where Frost had gone to, but quickly remembered that he was still at the scene. Part of Maura resented their closeness, especially since Jane had never really let her in behind the walls she'd fortified around herself. But Maura watched as Jane shrugged off his arm. She was more determined than ever not to show the misery that she was in.

"Don't," Jane hissed behind clenched teeth.

"Janie," Korsak tried again, seemingly unable to give up so easily. "Look, I know how you're feeling right now."

"With all due respect," Jane retorted angrily, "I don't think you_ do know_ how I'm feeling right now."

"Jane, please," Maura butted in, hoping to ease the situation.

"Stay out of this, Maur!" Maura was surprised to hear the amount anger in Jane's voice.

"She's right, you know," Korsak replied quickly. "You need to calm down a little bit, partner, and stop punishing yourself," He spoke quietly. "There was nothing you could have done. It's not your fault."

"They died on _my_ _fucking_ _watch_," Jane shouted at the top of her lungs, scaring nearby patients, doctors, and nurses. "Not anyone else's! Mine! Now tell me, how is that _not my fault?"_

"Janie," Vince wouldn't give up trying to assert his point. Maura gasped as Jane nearly hit him, shrugging off his arm a second time.

"I told you not to touch me!" Jane hissed, drawing the eyes of everyone around them.

"Miss," one of the nurses was brave enough to step forwards, "I'm afraid that if you can't lower your voice that I must ask you to step outside until you've calmed down. This is a hospital. People here need to rest."

"She was my responsibility. Mine. She was fourteen years old…the sweetest girl anyone could ever ask for," Jane breathed finally, ready to admit that maybe she cared too much about the young girl.

"I know, Janie," Korsak whispered, "I know. And I'm sorry."

"Miss?" Jane looked at the woman for a long moment in contempt before finally shoving her way past her partner and walking towards the door at the back of the hall. Maura found the pain in her chest quite hard to bear as she watched Jane storm down the hallway. Maura gasped along with the others who were watching nearby as Jane, still in the midst of her rage, overturned a medical supplies cart, causing a loud racket as all sorts of medical supplies spilled out onto the floor. This was about as bad as things could get. Maura moved to chase after her, but Korsak caught her around her upper arm in a rather vice-like grip. Maura struggled for a moment before he spoke.

"Maura, no," he commanded softly, "You have to let her go".

"But I have to," Maura was desperate to comfort the brunette. The need was so compelling that she failed to see the consequences. It didn't matter than Jane was so angry, she clearly wasn't thinking clearly.

"Maura," Vince spoke sternly, "Trust me on this. You do not want to be in close proximity of her right now. Let her go."

"But," Maura's panicked voice struck a chord within him. "She's… I know I'm not supposed to, but I…"

"I know," the older man nodded, looking into her eyes. "I know how much this is killing you, but you can't…you'll only make things worse if you try to do this now."

"She needs someone," Maura looked a if it were killing her, but deep down she knew that Jane would very well rip her head off if she tried. Maura's eyes followed one of the nurses as they tried to right the overturned cart. She quickly stepped in.

"We'll take care of it," Vince spoke softly, placing a delicate touch on the woman's shoulder. "I'm really sorry for all of the commotion. My partner is just very upset. We lost a couple of girls tonight that we were protecting. She doesn't really know how to express her grief and I'm afraid that she wound up doing it in the wrong way."

"It's okay," the nurse spoke calmly, "We all deal with grief in very different ways. She's clearly in a lot of pain." Vince and Maura both nodded. Together the 3 of them cleaned up the spilled supplies and sorted them into the appropriate drawers.

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**A/N: Okay, so Jane's not particularly bubbly in this chapter, but I hope that the readers will see things from her point of view and will understand the guilt that she's feeling. After all, how would you feel if you were in her shoes?**

**As depressing as this chapter is, please remember that the only way to go from here is up! Things start getting better from here on out! Happy reviewing! **


	8. Sleeping With a Friend

Title: **My Sundown**

Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T  
Genre: Drama/Angst/Friendship

**Chapter 8: Sleeping With a Friend**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**_Here's a longer chapter with a LOT of Maura/Jane in it! I hope that you guys are still with me! _**

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Jane rushed out the main hospital doors and into the pitch-black night. She took a bus to her edge of town, and hopped off, deciding that she'd make the last leg of her journey on foot. She her time going home, knowing that she had nothing to go back to except for Jo, an otherwise empty apartment, and a cold couch. The only thing she had to look forward to was a long, hot, shower. And so she ambled along, staring into the lights of the city, somehow hoping that they could quell the pain in her heart. She strolled down the sidewalk, and rummaged into her pocket for her key.

Boy would it be funny, if she'd come all this way just to find that she was locked out of her own apartment. Fortunately, she felt the cool metal in her front pocket.

And finally, after countless minutes of walking, she was close.

She was walking through the park, when a jagged lightning bolt streaked across the sky and first peal of thunder boomed through the silence. Jane cursed. She was still blocks from her apartment. She reached out, her hands towards the sky as a wall of water came hurtling towards her, the heaviest rain she'd seen in a long time. Heavy water droplets, splattered across the ground in a steady deluge. And Jane could actually see it coming straight for her.

"5…4…3…2…1," Jane looked up just as the band of water hit her and she was engulfed. "Is that all you've got?" Jane shouted. "You're going to have to do better than that!"

She blinked water from her eyes and let it trickle down her face. She stood there for several long minutes just letting her senses be assaulted by the rain. She could smell it, feel it, taste it, and she couldn't help but laugh at the innocent memories that sprang into her head of when she'd used to play in the rain as a little kid.

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Meanwhile, Maura let out a groan as the beautiful honey blonde M.E. realized that it was now raining. She could smell the stale air drifting up to her nostrils as she stepped outside. It was a heavy rain, the kind that bounced back up from the pavement a little bit before finally settling. As she stood under the protection of the awning, Maura looked back and forth quickly, looking for Jane's familiar silhouette. She couldn't spy the woman anywhere, and so she pulled out her phone and dialed Jane's number. It rang a couple of times and then sent her to voicemail. Maura hung up, her brow furrowing as she did another quick once over of the parking lot. After pondering the detective's whereabouts, she could only figure that Jane had gone home.

Korsak seemed to think that Jane needed to be alone, but Maura decided that she disagreed. Jane was supposed to be under supervision tonight, and there was no way she was leaving Jane's well being up to chance. She had to find Jane, before the brunette did something stupid, or reckless, or both. Maura ran for her car, much less happy about the rain than her counterpart. In her heels, it was a slow progression, but she finally she reached the car and whipped the door open. She tossed her handbag into the passenger seat before slipping into the car. With distaste, she realized that during her little stunt she had gotten quite soaked in the process. It wasn't the wetness that bothered her, but more the idea that she might ruin her black leather seats. With a sigh, Maura pushed the key into the ignition and turned it over, hearing as the engine roared to life. A shiver crept up her spine.

The rain itself had been cold since it was already into late November, but Maura was surprised at how much it had affected her. The air itself was crisp. With another shiver, the honey blonde turned on the heat and cranked it up to full blast. She headed back towards Jane's apartment, hoping she would find the determined brunette there.

Despite her best efforts not to worry, she couldn't help but fret about the typically strong woman. Ever since she saw Jane at the hospital, she hadn't been able to get Jane's agonized expression out of her head. It was easy to see that what happened had really upset her. Maura had taken a note of how Jane's hands had trembled as she paced back and forth. Jane had tried to hide it, of course, but Maura could see it. The medical examiner knew what it meant, too. Jane's hands always shook when she was under a great deal of emotional stress. Jane was extremely good at hiding how she was feeling, but by looking at Jane's hands, Maura could usually tell when she was distraught.

Maura expected Jane had put a lot of effort into learning to conceal her innermost feelings, because Jane rarely gave away what she was thinking or feeling. After all, showing emotion in such a position of authority is considered a sign of weakness, and Jane didn't want the men she worked with to think she wasn't strong or tough enough to do her job. A lot of the time Maura wished that Jane would just let her in, but the detective seemed bound and determined to keep a wall up between her and everyone else. Maura expected it had a lot to do with the things Jane has been through in the past. Maura knew that Jane had discontinued her partnership with Korsak because of the fact that he had been the one to her at her most vulnerable. She hoped some day that the brunette would let her in, without later penalizing her for it.

The windshield wipers flicked back and forth vigorously across the windshield as Maura arrived at Jane's apartment building. She pulled into her usual parking spot, and turned off the lights and the engine. Preparing to run all over again, Maura sprung herself from the vehicle. She began the short jog from the car to the main doors, allowing the cold water to bother her only a little. Maura checked her watch as she hustled up the steps to Jane's apartment. She knocked several times.

"Jane?" Jane shouted numerous times, before finally deciding to let herself in. She pulled out the key, inserted it into the lock and opened the door with a creak. Jane really needed to oil the hinges. Maura frowned, as she stepped inside and turned on the light. Jane wasn't there. Jo came over to greet her, excitedly. He yipped several times, and Maura knelt down to pat her back. "Where's Jane?" she asked Jo, as if the little dog could talk. Maura shook her head sadly. Where _was_ Jane? Maura stood up again, and walked back to the door. Jo scurried after her, and so she walked the little dog down the steps.

"Hurry, Jo! I'm getting soaked!" Maura implored the little scruffy dog, as she tried to get the dog to go to the bathroom. She was getting drenched, even using the little umbrella she'd found inside Jane's front door.

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Within minutes, Maura driving around the city, looking for any sign of her best friend. She felt like she was losing her mind.

Maura was driving down one of the main roads, windshield wipers moving back and forth as she struggled to see out of the windshield, when she first saw Jane. She slowed down as she looked out of the passenger side window to find a rather tall, lanky figure walking in near darkness as the rain continued to pour down in sheets. Maura thought it odd that they didn't have an umbrella. Her heart picked up in her chest as she realized it was Jane. No wonder.

She approached Jane slowly. Jane just kept walking, her arms wrapped tightly around her middle in a vain attempt to keep the heat in her body. Maura could see Jane's body tremble slightly and could only imagine how cold Jane must be. She quickly pulled over, turned off the car, and threw open the door. She walked around the front of the car and started jogging. Maura let out a deep breath, and a cloud of mist showed itself as the warmth was sucked up into the cool, biting air. Maura slowed as she approached Jane from behind. Her heels clicked against the concrete, and Maura realized that she'd given herself away.

"Jane!" she cried out breathlessly. She watched as the muscles in Jane's shoulders tensed, but Jane didn't turn around.

"Please go," Jane breathed in an annoyed and somewhat hostile tone, "You shouldn't be here. I want to be alone. I just want to be alone." Maura swallowed over the dryness of her throat before responding.

"Jane," Maura announced calmly, "Come on. It's me. Your best friend." Then she added a soft plea. "Jane, please." Maura was not prepared for Jane to turn around so quickly. Maura's breath hitched in her throat as Jane's warm chocolate brown eyes locked with hers. It took all of Maura's self restraint not to rush towards the detective and pull her into a tight embrace. Perhaps, Maura was wrong for thinking such things, but to her, Jane had never looked so beautiful. Jane's hair was drenched, her face was flushed with color, and droplets of rain clung to her long lashes before falling away. Maura waited for Jane to say something. When the detective remained silent, Maura began to question her presence.

"Jane," Maura breathed. "God, look at you. You must be freezing." Jane stared at her, looking as if she were in some far off place that Maura couldn't reach. "Come on," Maura breathed softly, "Let me drive you."

"Maur," Jane shook her head. "I… I'm fine. I only have a few more blocks to go."

"Jane, perhaps you're mistaking my meaning. I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. You're going to get pneumonia walking out here like this," Maura insisted. "Get in the car!"

"Maur," Jane whined, looking forlorn, "That's a myth."

"Not a myth, Jane," Maura's voice was short, clipped. "So just get in the damned car!" Jane threw up her hands defensively.

"Whoa, Maur," Jane breathed in slight astonishment. She secretly liked it when Maura was bossy. "There's no need to get your panties in a twist." Jane swallowed, and her eyes darted over to where Maura's car was pulled up to the curb. "Fine. You win. I'll get in the 'damned' car," she replied in a loose imitation of Maura before letting out a chuckle of amusement. Maura rarely swore. Maura let out a huff of frustration; although inwardly she realized that she'd just won a heck of a battle. Together they walked slowly for the car. Jane climbed into the passenger seat, and Maura suddenly realized that she didn't care if her seats were ruined. All that mattered was that she had Jane with her. Maura climbed in and started the car, sending nervous glances over at Jane, who seemed to be completely oblivious. She watched as beads of water trickled down Jane's face and dripped from her chin onto her legs below. No words were spoken as Maura drove. Maura tried to keep her eyes on the road as the silence built thickly between them. It was so tangible, Jane assumed that it could have been cut with a knife. Maura was relieved when Jane's hand darted out to the console and the brunette turned on the radio.

It was only after they passed Jane's apartment going at a fairly moderate speed that Jane said something.

"Hey, Maur?" Jane grumbled, "You just passed my apartment."

"I never said we were going to your apartment," Maura revealed with a mischievous smirk.

"Well aren't you a sly dog?" Jane joked. "You're finally starting to figure out how to get around the fact that you can't lie, aren't you?"

"I didn't _lie_ to you," Maura said in a matter of fact tone. "I simply let you make an assumption that you wanted to make and didn't correct you when it was incorrect."

"Great," Jane muttered in frustration, "You want to know what I call it? You're kidnapping me." Maura let out a quavering breath as she heard a dull thump. Maura turned her head, watching as Jane let her forehead drop against the passenger side window and closed her eyes.

"Just what the hell were you thinking, Jane?" Maura asked finally in a sort of reprimanding tone. "Walking out in the cold like that? Don't you care about your own well being, at all?"

"Not really," Jane managed as she opened her eyes.

"Jane," Maura breathed sadly. Maura looked over in time to see Jane shiver violently. The brooding detective continued to stare out the window despondently. Maura continued to drive slowly through the downpour, and Jane continued to ignore her. At some point, Jane gave into her exhaustion and closed her eyes.

By the time they made it to Maura's, Jane's body was already shutting down. It frightened Maura to see Jane shivering so violently and she wondered silently if she should take Jane to the hospital. Maura cut the engine, hopped out and ran around to the other side, whipping open the passenger door. She leant over Jane's still form.

Maura reached out to feel Jane's forehead only to find the skin cold and clammy. She started to panic a little as she listened to Jane's shallow breathing. The brunette's breaths came in weak rasps. Maura moved her hand down a fraction and brushed her hand over Jane's cheek to find slight warmth.

"Jane," Maura's voice was soft as a whisper in the detective's ear. "Jane, honey. Wake up." Jane let out a moan and opened her eyes. "We're here," Maura announced softly as she bent over and unbuckled the brunette's seatbelt. Her hand brushed Jane's and she jumped a little as she felt an electric charge move up her arm at the point of contact. Jane let out a groan and closed her eyes again. "Come on, Jane," Maura pleaded. "I need you to help me. I can't do this on my own." Jane finally complied and let Maura help her out of the car. Her legs shook underneath her and Jane was relieved to feel Maura's arm around her middle. Together, they walked inside.

The door opened in complete silence. Carelessly, Maura flicked on the light, and a moan soon followed, as Jane's eyes were forced to adjust to the onslaught of light in Maura's foyer. Maura set the dead bolt and turned around, surprised when Jane grabbed her hand. Jane's usually warm hands were unnaturally cold and icy, causing a shiver to shoot up Maura's spine. So long had the doctor imagined what it would feel like to be touched by Jane.

Maura pulled her hands out of Jane's, not missing the look of hurt and rejection that swept over the brunette's features. Maura made a promise to herself to remedy that hurt while she reached up and carefully pushed Jane's soaking wet heavy wool jacket from her shoulders. She let it fall to the floor and uncharacteristically forgot about it. For anyone who knew the slightly OCD woman, it wasn't like her, but Maura cared more about Jane than a coat on the floor.

Jane squeezed her eyes shut, letting out a deep breath. She tried to calm the raw feelings bubbling up inside of her. A gasp fell from her lips as Maura pushed her back against the door, her lips forcefully taking Jane's with her own. Hands roamed…. touching every inch of her warm heated flesh through drenched clothes. Jane's eyes opened, unsure of what she had done to earn this degree of passion. The pain in her body seemed to ease with the now gentle touches. She couldn't help but moan loudly as fingers stroked their way through her hair.

"Maur?" Jane panted aloud, causing stunning hazel eyes to meet her own. "What are you doing?"

"Shh…" Maura tried to silence her, unable to bear the weight any longer. "I'm sorry. I…I know that you need your space but I can't help it. I needed to feel that."

"Maura," Jane's voice quavered, as Maura touched her again. "Please… I can't…I can't do this if you're just going to go back to being mad at me in the morning."

"No," Maura brushed her forehead against Jane's. "Look, I know that things have been messed up between us lately. But I care, Jane. The fact is, I care so much it's killing me."

"Maur," Jane spoke softly.

"I could have lost you tonight." Maura breathed emotionally.

"Maur," Jane sighed.

"No," Maura argued. "Do you honestly think that it was lost on me? Do you think that I didn't know how close you came?" Tears spilled down Maura's cheeks. "You left to get dinner, Jane. You were gone for all of fifteen minutes… If you had been there?" Maura's voice gave out on her as a pained sob took her body over. "That's why I'm so scared. I meant what I said earlier. I can't ever lose you, Jane. If I do? It will be the end of me. You're the first one who has ever loved me for who I am. You're everything to me too." Jane braced herself for more tears as Maura broke down completely.

"Easy…" Jane breathed softly. "Easy, Maur." The lean brunette soothed. Jane squeezed her eyes shut as Maura's fingers ran gingerly over the purple marks that made up most of Jane's neckline. "It's okay."

"No," Maura whispered. "No… Don't try to tell me it's okay. It's not okay. None of this is okay. Everything is such a mess, and I don't even know where to start." Maura confessed. "And I'm not going to be okay until I can feel your heartbeat under my fingertips. Until I know that I'm not imagining all of this." Maura returned the kiss passionately. She knew she didn't deserve it. She felt like she didn't deserve any of Jane's love, but she knew that she was going to take it anyways. She had to take it because she needed something to keep her from falling so completely to the floor.

Jane took Maura's lips in a slow, exploratory kiss, as her fingers slid into Maura's hair. Strands ran between her fingers as she pulled Maura closer.

"How are you feeling?" Maura asked quietly, as she watched Jane's eyelid's droop.

"I'm okay," Jane swallowed. "You're here with me. That's all that matters."

She took Jane's hand in hers again, and gave it a squeeze, before slowly leading her towards the master bedroom. She carefully sat an exhausted Jane down on the edge of her bed, and ran into the bathroom to start the water in the shower. In the mean time, Maura slipped off her own jacket, and high heels, allowing herself a little more comfort. When she made it back into the bedroom, Jane was slumped over. Maura knelt down in front of Jane, and slowly she reached out for the detective, pulling Jane's hands away from Jane's face. She felt her heart clench painfully in her chest as she saw the tears spilling from Jane's eyes. Maura squeezed Jane's hands and then let them drop before reaching out to wipe away Jane's tears. She let her hands brush each side of Jane's face. Jane's eyes flickered open, holding Maura's soft, electrifying gaze. Maura stared into Jane's eyes, completely transfixed by the molten chocolate swirls of color she found there. Maura's thumbs swept softly over Jane's ears.

"Hey," Maura greeted softly. "We need to get you out of those sopping wet clothes and into the shower before you get any worse."

"Maur," Jane's raspy voice just sounded sad, and it pulled at Maura's heart. "Why are you doing this?" Jane asked. "You know… You don't have to do this. I… I don't want you to feel like you have to take care of me."

"Jane," Maura sighed, "When are you going to understand? I _want_ to do this. I care about you, and I don't mind taking care of you." Maura's heart broke as several more tears seeped from Jane's eyes. "You're hurting, and you need someone right now. Sure, you can try to scare me off like you did Vince, but it's not going to work on me. I care about you too much." Jane's shoulders started to shake as the detective remembered just how much she was hurting. Sobs slipped past Jane's lips and tore violently at Maura's heart. Maura sat down next to Jane, pulling Jane into arms before wrapping them around her.

"It's okay," Maura whispered. "Just let it all out. It's okay, Jane." Still, Jane fought the sobs in her body. Maura held her tighter, wondering what to do. She didn't know what to say, but she knew she had to say _something_.

"Jane, I'm just so sorry. I'm so sorry for what you had to go through today," Maura apologized. "I wish I could make it better, but I know that I can't. The best…that I can do is try to make it hurt a little less." Maura swallowed. "So that's it. That's my whole speech. I guess I'm not very good at this."

"So you're not going to try to tell me that you know how I feel?" Jane asked in a cracked voice, as her sobs waned into hiccups.

"No," Maura shook her head, her expression had a bit of warmth and patience to it. "I could say that, but I think that it would only seem insulting. I couldn't possibly know how you feel. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must have been."

"Thank you," Jane sniffled. Maura's heart clenched as Jane offered her a sad smile.

"For what?" Maura asked, looking confused.

"For being you," Jane replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "For taking care of me, even though I don't deserve it."

"Jane," Maura shook her head. "If only you knew…it's not…"

"Don't try to tell me that it isn't my fault," Jane whispered brokenly, "Maur, I'm nothing more than a screw up."

"It's _not_ your fault," Maura said emphatically. "Jane, you can't save everyone. You _know_ that. I know that. What happened today was tragic, but you did everything you could short of giving your own life." Jane looked away and refused to meet Maura's eyes.

"Did you see her body?" Jane asked brokenly.

"Jane," Maura sighed. She knew what Jane was going to say next.

"I know you did," Jane whispered. At some point Jane squeezed her eyes shut. "Because I...I see it every time I close my eyes."

"Come on," Maura breathed as she let her arms fall away from their protective hold on the tall, lanky woman, only to take up Jane's hands in hers. With a tug, she was coaxing Jane off of the bed with her and into a standing position. Without another word, Maura led Jane into the bathroom, where the water was already running. Jane closed her eyes as she felt Maura's hands fall away.

"Maur," Jane whispered as more tears escaped. "It hurts." Maura's breath hitched in her throat as she saw Jane coming apart in front of her.

"I know," Maura soothed. "I know it hurts." Maura swallowed thickly as tears began to build in her own eyes. It killed her to see Jane in so much pain. "What can I do? What can I do to make it better?" Maura watched as Jane's shoulders started to shake. "I can't stand to see you hurting like this, Jane," Maura breathed aloud. Jane looked away, and frantically started wiping away at her tears.

"God, Maur," Jane choked out between ragged breaths, "I'm such a mess right now." Jane squeezed her eyes shut and attempted to turn away out of embarrassment. Maura wasn't about to give up that easily. "I just want to feel something other than this pain. I want to forget." Then she let out a depreciating laugh. "How sick is that? That I'd rather forget two girls died today." Jane shook her head. "I'm a _monster_."

"Jane," Maura's voice was soft and pleading as she turned the detective around, "Look at me." Jane's eyes opened, but continued to look anywhere other than at Maura. "Please, Jane! Look at me." Jane's eyes reluctantly found Maura's to find something she had never seen before. Usually Maura was so guarded, so composed that Jane could never tell what she was thinking unless the M.E. voiced those thoughts. But now, Maura was making an effort to be heard loud and clear. Maura swallowed, not sure she could even breathe at this point. Abruptly she framed Jane's face with her hands, wanting to make sure that Jane couldn't look away from her as she said her next words. "You _are_ _not_ a _monster, Jane_. In fact, you couldn't be further from it," Maura said with conviction. "And Jane? I never want to hear you call yourself that again. Ever. Do you hear me? You, Jane Rizzoli, have one of the most beautiful hearts I've ever known…one of the most beautiful souls that the world will _ever_ know. You care. You care more about protecting others than protecting yourself, which is why you're ripping yourself to shreds right now. What happened to those girls is killing you." Jane stared deep into Maura's eyes, and knew that she meant every word.

"Do you realize that it's easier for you to hate yourself, than the _actual_ monster that killed those girls today. _He's_ the monster Jane, not you. You need to recognize that. Please." Jane nodded slowly. Maura finally let her hands drop away from Jane's face, and dropped to her knees. She pulled off Jane's sopping wet shoes and socks, and then slowly straightened up. Next, her hands darted to unfasten the button of Jane's pants. She unbuttoned them and slid the zipper down before starting to peel the heavy fabric away from Jane's body. Jane shifted in an effort to step out of them and stumbled. Maura's hands caught Jane's body at her hips. Maura's tight grasp had Jane careening into the smaller woman. Maura felt a flush of heat work its way up her body, and did her best to ignore it. She shouldn't be thinking of those things right now. But God, she wanted Jane.

"Sorry," Maura muttered as she released her tight hold on Jane's hips and took a step back while still avoiding Jane's eyes.

Maura stood frozen as Jane's hand reached out and tentatively brushed against her cheek, trying to direct Maura's gaze in her direction. Maura closed her eyes and savored the touch before opening them again. A shiver ran up the shorter woman's spine as Jane took a step closer. She could feel the warm breath mingle between them as no distance was left. The brunette could feel the warm heat that still remained in Maura's body as Jane finally closed the distance and pressed her lips gently to Maura's.

For a moment, shock took over and Maura could only stand there dumbly, but before she knew what was happening, Maura's body responded to the kiss, and she pushed ever so harder against Jane's body, savoring the sensation. Maura's mouth opened, and with a moan, she accepted Jane's tongue and the warm caress the silken muscle gave her. Jane's tongue proceeded to run gently over the warm contours of Maura's mouth. Jane moaned softly as Maura's hands slipped into her tangled hair, and deepened the kiss. Jane, who clearly didn't ever want the kiss to end, instinctively reached out for Maura's hips and pulled Maura's body flush against hers again. The kiss grew in its intensity and urgency as Maura and Jane became lost in eachother, drawing much needed comfort from the contact. They continued exploring like this for a long moment before Maura was forced to pull away in an effort to get some air.

"Maur," Jane panted, their forehead's still brushing. Jane closed her eyes and let out another moan.

"Jeezuz, Jane," Maura replied, her hand's stroking the side of Jane's face. "You never told me that you could kiss like that." Jane let out a low laugh, as her body convulsed in a violent shiver.

Her teeth chattered as she spoke. "Well," Jane chuckled, "You never asked."

"I suppose not," Maura giggled. "Come on. We need to get you the rest of your clothes."

"You sound awfully eager to get me out of these clothes," Jane joked, her eyes soft and full of expression.

"You have no idea," Maura whispered back. "Jane, please tell me that we're going to be okay."

"I want to," Jane replied honestly. "God, I want to."

"But?"

"What if we try, and things don't work out?" Jane asked quietly, her words hitching in her throat. "It's not too late to turn back."

"I can't do that, Jane," Maura spoke softly, reaching out to Jane. "Despite all of the obstacles in our way, I know that you love me too," Maura, asserted, "Sure, it would be easier to turn back, but when I think of all I'd be giving up if I did…I can't do that. Look, I understand that you're scared. I do, because well... it scares me too."

Jane let out a quavering breath. It was good to know that she wasn't the only one that was petrified.

"Damn it. I love you, Jane," Maura cried in exasperation, "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone." Jane gasped, completely unprepared to hear those words coming from her best friend, even after everything they'd been through the last two weeks. Maura had once told Jane that Jane was not her type. She also never told Jane that she was attracted to the curly haired detective. "I know I shouldn't have these feelings, because you're my best friend, but I do, Jane." Then. "Believe me. I'm scared too. But I need you, Jane. I _need_ you."

"Maura," Jane's rough voice was hardly audible as she silently begged with her eyes for Maura to take it back. Unfortunately, Maura couldn't. "You can't mean that."

"Why not?" Maura challenged.

"Because," Jane tossed back at the younger woman, not knowing what to say. Finally, she managed to make more of an argument. "You're perfect, Maura," Jane bit out, still trying to pull away from Maura. Jane felt sick, knowing that some man had gotten to know what if felt like to be with who she considered to be the most beautiful person, both inside and out, that Jane had ever known. Jane suddenly felt like a five year old. "And I have absolutely nothing to offer you. I'm not smart like you. And I don't have a lot of money. Hell, I hardly have _any_ money," Jane swallowed. "I'm not good enough, Maura," Jane breathed with conviction, "I'll never be good enough for you. You deserve so much more."

"Jane," the detective watched as Maura's eyes brimmed over with tears, and one escaped. The brunette watched, completely transfixed as the tear trailed down Maura's cheek. "You must not see yourself the way that others see you," Maura informed her. "You're strong, brave, selfless, extremely compassionate, driven, generous, sweet, beautiful," Maura listed off. "And before you tell me that it's not true, or that I can't possibly mean that," Maura spoke preemptively, "I should remind you that I cannot tell a lie."

"Maur," Jane swallowed, her throat constricting uncomfortably. Jane stopped breathing as she realized, for the first time, that Maura was only inches away from her now. For some reason, the M.E.'s close proximity had Jane's heart racing out of control in her chest. Jane silently wondered if she affected the blonde in the same way. They were close enough to each other that they were breathing the same air. And Jane closed her eyes as she finally gave in and breathed in the delicate scent of Maura's perfume. With her eyes closed, Jane focused on her other senses. She could feel the medical examiner's warm exhalation against her cheek, and the electricity in the younger woman's touch. Jane could also feel the heat building between their bodies, and started to feel something pull at her from deep inside. She felt her body start to come alive, as her desire started raging out of control. Quickly, Maura's grip loosened on Jane's wrists as the light-haired brunette allowed herself to become distracted by other things. She too, found Jane to be completely intoxicating. Maura's cheeks had a healthy flush to them as she started to feel warm all over.

Jane finally opened her eyes, staring back into the most beautiful pair of hazel eyes that she'd ever seen. Maura reached out, running her thumb over Jane's strong cheekbone, or in Maura's technical terminology, Jane's left Zygomatic arch. From there, Maura's hand ghosted over the brunette's ear and settled in Jane's soft, curly, dark brown hair. Jane moaned softly as Maura's hand applied pressure to the back of Jane's neck, while the blonde's fingers started to play with the strands of hair at the nape of Jane's neck. Jane's eyes darted down to Maura's lips as the woman's tongue darted out to moisten her lips, and then flickered back up to Maura's eyes.

With careful movements, Maura slid her hands under the hem of Jane's shirt and began to pull up the damp fabric, exposing Jane's tanned skin. Maura's eyes hungrily raked over Jane's lean form, as warmth settled into her stomach. Jane let her do it without protest. In fact, the brunette encouraged her, teasingly of course.

Maura felt the air sucked from her lungs as Jane crashed her lips against Maura's. The force was enough to push Maura backwards. Then just as suddenly, Jane's strong arm tugged Maura hard enough to send Maura's body careening into hers in the rebound. Maura moaned into the kiss, feeling the ferocity of it. Just as suddenly, however, she pulled away. Eyes met and locked. For the first time, she saw Jane's eyes soften. They stayed like that, letting seconds tick by.

Tears started seeping from her eyes as Jane's eyes opened and she registered the agony and pain in the usually strong woman's eyes.

"Jane," Maura pleaded, "Talk to me. Please. Maura's breathing hitched. "Tell me what you're thinking." Jane, who was desperate to preserve whatever was left of her pride, started rebuilding her protective walls.

"I can't…" Jane said finally, as she stumbled, the room spinning.

"You can't," Maura repeated slowly, wondering how many more times she was going to have to explain to Jane, what she meant. Then Jane started sinking to the floor.

"I can't shower," Jane finally whispered, "I don't have any energy left. I…I think I'm going to pass out." The words jolted Maura into action. She sprang forwards, wrapping her arms around Jane's middle before gradually easing Jane to the floor. As soon as Jane was on the floor, the brunette cowered, lifting her hands to her face.

"I'm sorry," Jane muttered over and over. Maura caught snipets of what Jane was saying. "….pathetic that I can't even…"

Maura knelt down on her knees, not caring that the cool tile was digging into her kneecaps. Gently she prized Jane's hands away.

"Shh," Maura soothed. "It's okay. It's okay, Jane." Maura pulled Jane into her arms, holding onto her tightly. Jane closed her eyes, holding onto the blonde for dear life. They sat there for what seemed like minutes, hours. "You have a concussion. You're dizzy. It's not your fault, so don't act like it is. I should have known better. You need rest." Maura soothed.

"Come on," Maura breathed as she pulled away. "Let's get you out of here."

Jane let Maura help her up, and lead her into the bedroom. Maura sat Jane down on the bed and quickly rifled through Jane's dresser to find something for the brunette to wear. When she got back to the bed, Maura took her lips in a soft, gentle kiss. Jane kissed her back like she was afraid Maura was a ghost and would vanish at any moment. The kiss was tentative, but built as Maura pushed forwards. Somehow, Maura's tongue found it's way into Jane's mouth. She slowly stroked and massaged Jane's tongue with her own. Every caress of the soft muscle was carefully planned and executed in Maura's mind. She wanted the exploration to be slow, painfully so. Before Maura knew what was happening, Jane was lying flat on her bed, and Maura hovered over her. Maura didn't want to stop. In fact, she wanted to slowly force her way into the deepest depths of Jane's soul.

Tentatively Maura's hands reached out to slip into Jane's hair. Fingers danced and massaged the soft skin of Jane's scalp. And Jane, after letting the sensations overwhelm her, moaned softly. It was so punctuated it sounded like a whimper. Sure enough, seconds later, when Maura's hands slid down to caress Jane through her bra, Jane whimpered again, her lips parting.

"P…Please," Jane whispered, kissing Maura again. She had never felt so desperate for contact, or for comfort in her entire life.

"Shh," Maura breathed, "I've got you," slipping her tongue back into Jane's mouth as Maura brought her hands to the brunette's bare torso. Slowly, with trembling fingers, Maura slid her hands up over Jane's burning flesh. Jane closed her eyes, trying to memorize every sensation. She had been so sure that she would never feel this again. Maura couldn't help but moan as she unclasped Jane's bra and perfect pert breasts were revealed to the world. Jane squeezed her eyes shut even tighter as Maura pulled away, sucking her tongue out of Jane's mouth so she could kiss her way downward.

Pressure told her that Maura was now straddling her as the blonde kissed her way down Jane's jaw and neck with feather light kisses. Maura progressed millimeter by millimeter. It seemed like an eternity before Jane felt a warm, hot, mouth, envelope Jane's own supple breast. Hands snaked down to Jane's abdomen, and then Maura paused for a long moment. Jane felt the blonde's hand pause, nearly whimpering once more at the loss. Jane was surprised as she felt her body directed to closer to the pillows so that she could fit on the bed. Maura took her mouth again in hers, making the kiss as gentle as before. With a moan, fingertips slid over the smooth skin of Jane's hips. Maura, even though she was intentionally trying to be as slow and gentle as she could, was losing patience herself. She let out a sigh as her fingers slid beneath Jane's cotton boy shorts and met soft, damp curls. Suddenly she stopped, taking Jane's lips in a soft caress. She was surprised when she felt air pass from Jane's lips in what was barely a whisper.

"I love you." Maura wasn't even sure if Jane knew what had slipped out. Maura couldn't stop herself, lips suddenly pressed hard against Jane's possessively.

God, she loved this woman so much. It didn't matter that Jane made things so difficult, neigh impossible. It didn't matter that they had already been through so much. Maura's eyes drifted close as urgent kisses were exchanged. She felt shock creep in as she felt a trembling beneath her and opened her eyes to see tears streaming down Jane's cheeks. When Jane realized she had been found out, she tried to suppress them, but in the end it only made her start shaking more violently.

"Oh, Jane," Maura whispered, stroking Jane's face. "You need this. Don't you, baby?" Jane nodded. Maura felt her heart cease to beat in her chest. Maura didn't need to be told twice. She quickly took over, touching and caressing every inch of Jane's body with a renewed fervor. She was still gentle as she tried to sooth the woman's pain away.

Soon, Maura's fingers buried themselves deep into soft, warm, velvet, as she played her lover like some sort of instrument. Maura played her lover with touches, building to some great crescendo in which sensations became so incredibly overpowering. Maura watched the plane's of Jane's face change as the brunette finally let go, and felt as the brunette's juices spilled over her hand and fingertips. Jane's body slowly stopped shaking, her eyes staring into Maura's. With her fingers still buried deep inside of her lover, Maura could only stare back without breathing. Gently, Jane pushed herself upwards, kissing Maura softly, tears still flowing from her cheeks. Wrapping her arms around her lover, Jane made it clear she didn't want Maura to leave.

"Please don't leave," Jane begged. "I don't want to be alone. I don't think I could take it."

"Shh, love," Maura breathed, kissing Jane again, "I'm not leaving you. I'm never leaving you." They stayed like that for a long few minutes.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Jane said finally. "Usually, I can hold it together."

"Hey," Maura spoke brokenly, tears threatening to spill out of her own eyes, "That's okay. Because if you need someone to catch you? I'll be there to catch you. You… You have to be able to express yourself."

"The truth is," Jane said insecurely, "I'm scared to let you see what is inside of me. I'm afraid that I'll scare you off, and I don't think that I could handle that."

"I don't think you realize," Maura replied, "How difficult it is going to be to get rid of me, Jane. I love you. And I love everything that makes you who you are, even if I don't necessarily know what all of those things are." Maura took a deep breath, brushing Jane's cheek with her fingers.

"Baby, I promise I'll always be there for you," Maura said intensely, showing her sincerity in her eyes and expression. "And I understand that there are going to be some things you won't be able to share with me, but you have to be willing to talk with someone. You have to get these things out. If you can do that, then we can get through this. I have no doubt in my mind."

"Thank you," Jane spoke as she stole a kiss from her lover. "Thank you for sticking with me."

"Of course," Maura smiled. "I love you, Jane."

"I love you too, Maur," Jane confessed with a wide, teary-eyed smile that was heavy on emotion. And with that, Jane pulled Maura down for a soft, sensual, soul-searching kiss.

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

**Still with me? Review and let me know!**


	9. Look After You

Title: **My Sundown**

Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: T  
Genre: Drama/Angst/Friendship

**Chapter 5: Storm Warning**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: Someone has been a busy little mouse! Oh, wait! It's me! Between this story and my other R&I story (Truth Love Dare), I've been writing quite a bit lately. For some reason, I couldn't stop writing. I think this chapter is around 6,000 word, so it's a bit of a marathon read. And along with the chapter I just posted, it's something like 11,000 words.**

**I sincerely hope that you like this chapter.**

**I'm going to give you a **trigger warning**, because things heat up a bit at the beginning of this chapter.**

* * *

Maura groaned as she was wrenched from her sleep. It seemed she was permanently on the precipice between dream and wakefulness. Her watch buzzed again, signaling that the half-hour was up. It was time to be the bad guy that pulled Jane back into reality.

Maura, careful not to move the bed too much, wiggled closer to where Jane was curled up on the mattress.

"Jane, honey," Maura said as she shook Jane gently. "Jane, it's time to wake up!"

"Oh my god," Jane groaned, lifting her forearm in order to drape it over her eyes. Maura kept shaking her. "I seriously want to kill you right now," Jane admitted. "For god's sake," Jane breathed. "Let me sleep."

"You know the drill," Maura answered. "You have a concussion, Jane," Maura reminded her. "And since you refused to stay at the hospital, where you _should_ be, it's my job to wake you up every thirty minutes to make sure you don't slip into a coma."

"So you claim," Jane retorted, "But clearly you have something against sleep," Jane said shortly, "Because you won't let me get so much as a single wink of it!"

"I'll have you know," Maura said softly, "That you have fallen asleep several times over the course of the night. In fact, the longest time you've slept is…mmm…about 27 minutes."

"Do you seriously hear yourself when you talk?" Jane teased. Jane seemed to be overlooking the fact that Maura had slept even less than her, due to the fact that it was Maura's job to keep track of how much time had passed. Not to mention that she had to keep explaining herself to Jane whenever the brunette was woken up.

"You make a pretty awful patient, you know that?" Maura asked in response. "And as far as not letting you sleep, that's not true. I just haven't let you reach stage four sleep, otherwise known as the R.E.M. sleep cycle. You know…R.E.M. is aptly named for the rapid eye movements that come from…"

"Oh my god!" Jane rolled over and shoved the pillow over her head. "It's too early for googlemouth! Go away!"

"You weren't saying that last night," Jane heard Maura's sing song voice state though her pillow muffled the song, "In fact, I believe you liked my _mouth_ a hell of a lot." Jane lifted the pillow and rolled over so that she was facing Maura.

Jane struggled to breathe as she saw the way Maura's eyes were twinkling mischievously.

"God, you're so adorkable," Jane rasped as she stared into Maura's green eyes. "And you're right. I really _do_ like your mouth," Jane punctuated the statement with a chaste kiss.

"Is that so?" Maura asked, her voice deeper than usual. "Cause I'm not sure if I'm going for adorable." Maura winked. "Have you noticed my silk pajamas?"

"Have I noticed your…" Jane sputtered, "Are you daft? God, Maur. It's taking all of my self-control not to jump you right now."

"You don't say," Maura winked.

Jane replied as her lips quirked upwards into a smile.

"You look so hot right now," Jane said in a deep voice. "You know, I hate to ask this because we haven't even been on a date yet, but... can I lick your face?" Jane asked with a deadpan expression, but quickly lost it, and burst into laughter. Maura couldn't help but follow suit.

"Eww," Maura replied as she shuddered at the memory of Giovanni asking to lick her face. "Way to ruin the moment, Jane."

"In all seriousness, though," Jane breathed. "You're so fucking beautiful it's maddening." Then. "God, I'm so tired," Jane groaned.

"Go back to sleep," Maura encouraged her. "I'll wake you again in a half an hour." Jane nodded and closed her eyes.

* * *

"I know that I'm a pain in the ass," Jane said finally in a gravel filled voice, "And that I don't make it easy to take care of me. But thanks for doing this, Maur."

"I'd do anything for you, Jane," Maura said as she lifted Jane's hand to her lips and kissed Jane's palm. "Now get some rest, love."

"Mmm," Jane replied in a humming voice. Maura suspected Jane was already asleep.

* * *

Maura woke as a warm orange glow permeated her thin eyelids. She let out a groan of lamentation, as she was loath to accept that the morning had in fact come, despite her wishes to live in the moment forever. Light meant that the morning had come, and that her evening with one amazingly beautiful detective, otherwise known as Jane Rizzoli, was in fact over.

For the longest time after Jane had fallen asleep, Maura had been determined to stay awake, just to take in every detail. She wanted to take in every curvature, every perfect contour of Jane's bare flesh. She wanted to revel in the feelings she had experienced as they made love. Maura had managed to stay awake for a while, but in the end, she had ultimately failed. She was too tired. And it was her responsibility to keep a close eye on Jane. As Maura contemplated the reasons why he had failed in her attempts to watch the completely prone hazel-eyed brunette, she had to admit that perhaps she had drifted off so readily, because she felt so incredibly relaxed.

Over the course of the last year insomnia had been one of Maura's biggest problems, and cruelest tormentors. She often found it impossible to turn off her thoughts at night when she lay in bed by herself. She often felt lonely. There was nothing else to it. But now, the feelings of emptiness were gone. She rejoiced a little bit at that thought. Everything just felt so right as she held Jane in her arms. She just couldn't help but feel at peace when she had Jane wrapped up in her arms.

Maura took another deep breath, letting it out slowly. Her eyes flickered open, and for a moment, she laid completely still. The warm orange glow became bright rays of sunlight meeting her pupils and for a moment she was forced to squint against the obtrusive light. Maura silently cursed herself out for not remembering to shut the blinds before she'd drifted off, and lifted her free hand to her face in an effort to try and wipe the tiredness from them. As she did so, Maura shifted slightly, and subsequently felt the sleeping brunette shift against her before settling back into her side. Jane's head still lay gently on Maura's chest, and her hair was fanned out gently behind her, tickling the skin of Maura's bare shoulders.

It felt so perfect. Maura turned her neck to glance at the clock and froze. An expletive made its way through her mind, though she had enough self-control to keep from blurting it aloud.

Nearly two and a half hours had passed, since the last time she'd glanced at the clock, and she was supposed to wake Jane up every half an hour.

"Jane," Maura whispered softly. She reached up to run her hands through Jane's hair. "Jane," Maura repeated.

Jane took a ravenous breath as her body began to wake and adjust to full-consciousness. As long as Maura's wonderfully delicate scent suffused her nostrils, she felt insatiable. Jane took another greedy breath as the most luscious smell met her nose. It was sweet, delicate, a perfect cross between lavender and vanilla.

"Jane," Maura tried yet again. "At least say something, so I know you're not in a coma."

"Too comfortable to get up," Jane murmured, nuzzling against Maura's chest. Maura couldn't stop the gasp from escaping as Jane rubbed against sensitized skin.

Was the brunette _trying_ to kill her?

In the meantime, Jane was reflecting on how good Maura felt as a pillow. She could hear the honey brunette's heart pick up its pace in her chest. And Jane liked the fact that she could do such a thing to the amazing woman beneath her.

It scared the hell out of her that she had nearly lost the woman out of her own stupidity.

Jane groaned at her inner monologue out of pure frustration, and squeezed her eyes shut. She just wanted to go back to sleep now, where her mind couldn't babble on endlessly about the things she tried the most not to think about.

"It's 9:30, Jane," Maura said finally. "It's time to get up."

"You can get up if you want, but I'm going back to sleep," Jane said as she rolled off of Maura, turning her back to the woman next to her.

"You are _so_ not a morning person," Maura said with a heartwarming smile. Now if only Jane could see it.

"You knew that already," Jane observed. "Now go away. Need…sleep."

"No, Jane," Maura said resolutely. "No going back to bed." Jane groaned, and quickly reached down for the duvet covers. She pulled them back up abruptly, covering her head and body. She burrowed further into the blankets.

Maura chuckled softly again as she tugged at the covers, trying to pull them back down.

"Okay," Maura smiled as she thought of a proposition. "Okay. I can see that I haven't quite convinced you yet." She felt her heart melt a little as Jane wriggled her head from side to side, unwilling to yield.

"I'll make you a deal." Maura took a slight pause to make sure Jane was listening. "You listening?" she asked quietly. A bob of the covers told Maura she was. "Okay. So the deal is that if you get up now, I'll make you some pancakes," the blonde woman teased. "Either that, or you can have _me_ for breakfast. All you have to do is pull down the covers and open your eyes." Maura was met with silence, inaction. She felt a pang of sadness. Was she not worth getting up for?

"Okay, so the deal expires in five seconds." Still nothing. " . .one," The look in Maura's eyes at that moment was devilish. She reached down to where she knew Jane's hips to be. A squeal left Jane's lips as Maura's fingers frantically wriggled back and forth. Even through the fabric the tickling seemed to be working. Maura quickly decided that Jane's peals of laugher were the sweetest and easily the best sound she'd ever heard. Jane cried out, pleading for Maura to stop and the doctor finally relented as she became genuinely concerned Jane wasn't getting enough oxygen from laughing so hard for so long.

"Oww," Jane groaned. "Okay…so laughing hurts like hell."

"Oh, god," Maura whispered. "I didn't even think of that… I'm so sorry, Jane."

"Yeah?" Jane challenged, "Well, don't be, cause I'm not."

Slowly, Jane pulled down the blankets, exposing her perfect and prone body as she did so. Jane's eyes were shining brightly, her skin was absolutely radiant, and her complexion had a healthy flush to it. Her dark wavy ebony curls were splayed over the pillow and tangled in some places, but Maura swore she'd never seen anything quite so beautiful.

Jane quickly pressed a chaste kiss to Maura's lips and darted away. The kiss happened so fast, and Maura wasn't able to react to it enough for her own satisfaction. The thought made her a little bitter. "You call that a kiss?" she teased softly.

Jane smiled as sheer happiness bubbled up inside of her.

Jane had a mischievous look in her chocolate brown eyes as she went for Maura's lips again. This time, Maura kissed her back softly, exchanging a series of feather light kisses with her love. Maura pecked her lips softly, happy to be making progress, but Jane's eyes fluttered closed at some point during the kiss and stayed resolutely closed.

Maura pulled away, wondering silently how long it would take Jane to figure out she was no longer in kissing distance. And sure enough, she could sense Jane's frustration and feeling of loss when she tried to kiss Maura and the blonde's lips were no longer there.

Even in the cloudy haze of sleep Jane experienced a deep sense of longing for Maura. She opened her eyes, seized Maura's body and pulled the blonde back into, what she could only call one hell of a kiss. Jane wasn't hungry for anything else. She just wanted Maura.

Maura crawled up Jane's body, hovering over her. She brought their lips together, in yet another languid saccharine kiss. She moaned softly into Jane's mouth as she reached up and slipped her hand under Jane's favorite BPD t-shirt, running it over the tight muscles of Jane's abdomen. Her breaths hitched in her throat as she felt the muscles under her fingertips twitch, responding to her touch. Jane moaned as Maura lowered her body, while still being careful to keep her weight off of her.

"You can touch me, you know?" she husked as she tried to pull Maura down to her. However, the doctor refused to budge. Maura slipped her hand carefully beneath Jane's neck, using her forearm to bear the brunt of her weight. Maura's other hand grasped Jane's left hip. Maura slipped it beneath the fabric, rubbing small circles on Jane's skin. The kisses remained unrushed.

"Maur," Jane moaned. "Come closer."

"I really don't want to hurt you," Maura asserted once more. "Jane…"

Jane's breaths became ragged as she became impatient and wanted more. Since Maura wouldn't come down to her, Jane struggled to push her body up to hers. She was rewarded when their bodies collided. Slowly, instinct took over. Two bodies fit seamlessly together as Maura lost the battle. Maura moaned as she felt her body slide along Jane's as the kissed quickly deepened and became fervent.

"God, Jane," Maura gasped as her lungs and her body protested as the kiss broke. Her breaths became ragged. She swallowed as Jane pushed herself up so that Maura could slip Jane's shirt over her head. She removed the article of clothing slowly, careful not to cause the woman any pain. Maura followed the trail of exposed skin with her lips, kissing her way up to the distinctive pucker in Jane's skin. Maura closed her eyes as she gently kissed her there, before continuing up Jane's body.

For a long moment, Maura found herself running her hands gently over Jane's skin. She needed to memorize the sight of it, the feel of it under her hands. Maura can see the evidence of scars that riddle what would be otherwise perfection, and she only loves Jane more for it. It is a testament to her bravery, her sacrifice, and it is beautiful.

Maura fought an internal plethora of emotions as she thought back to the night she had nearly lost Jane.

She had waited four painful years, and then, in a fit of stubbornness had almost given up the chance to ever have anything with the amazing woman. And she had since promised herself she would never let Jane go.

Maura was brought back to the present as she felt Jane push up the fabric of her silk tank top.

"Jane," Maura whispered, her voice full of need, as she felt the brunette's hands run over her heated flesh.

"It's my turn to worship _you_," Jane husked in Maura's ear.

Maura cried out as Jane turned them, pushing Maura back against the mattress. Maura knew that it was inevitable. Jane always needed to be the one in control. This morning, there seemed to be certain urgency to what they were doing; perhaps it was because they were both tired of holding back for so long. It was the fear of the loss that kept them both up at night. What would they do if everything imploded? Neither felt like they would be able to handle it.

* * *

****Trigger warning** Skip if you don't want to read!**

Jane stole her thoughts away again as she kissed her way down Maura's chest, inch by inch, and Maura's chest rose off the bed of its own accord as Jane's warm wet mouth took possession of her right breast. A guttural moan spilled from Maura's mouth as her eyes fluttered open rather abruptly. She felt as Jane's other hand graze the bottom side of her other breast and gasped as Jane's thumb grazed her already erect left nipple. It too was suddenly surrounded by igneous heat as Jane switched sides, suckling on her left breast. Maura's body seized up in pleasure as Jane's hand suddenly squeezed her right breast, which already tingled from the cool air that was licking at the damp flesh Jane had not-so kindly neglected. She couldn't stop the moans anymore as her hands reached out for Jane. She had to reach the brunette. She had to get Jane to come back to her. She had to kiss that perfect mouth of Jane's, or she honestly thought that she might die.

"Ja-ne," Maura tried to utter the brunette's name but failed as another jolt of pleasure overtook her body. Jane's tongue drew a delicate circle around Maura's navel as she traveled further downwards, away from where Maura wanted her. But her mind became mush as Jane delved her tongue into the shallow depression of her belly button.

"Maura," Jane's own breathing was ragged as she trailed kisses along the edge of Maura's jaw. She couldn't get enough of her best friend, her love. Jane's eyes drank in the sight of Maura's bare torso, and all of the beautiful skin she'd only ever dreamt about. She was tender, gentle as she ran her hands over it.

"Jane," Maura moaned, as she took Jane in another hungry passionate kiss. She whimpered as Jane's hand and her fingers, ventured down her stomach towards the fabric below her navel. Without loosening the fabric, she slipped her hands beneath the silk, beneath the lace of her panties. Maura couldn't breathe as she waited for the first touch. Jane timed it just perfectly, swallowing Maura's cry of surprise just as she rubbed small circles over the bundle of nerves that robbed the rest of her of all coherent thought.

Jane could hardly breathe herself as she dipped her fingers into hot, wet, liquified heat. The kiss deepened as her own arousal took over and clouded her thoughts, effectively ending her reservations about the whole thing. Jane was touching her. God, she was with her and she couldn't get enough of the taste of her skin, the smell of her shampoo, the feel of her under her fingertips. Maura moaned loudly, seeking more contact.

"J-Jane, Please." She rasped. Jane nuzzled her as she pulled her hand away. Maura groaned at the loss. "I need you." Jane swallowed, kissing her gently as she untied Maura's pajama pants with one hand, while maintaining contact with the other. The sound of the rustling fabric was barely audible over the ragged hungry breaths and kisses that persisted. Maura lifted her hips off the bed as Jane tugged on the fabric, pulling them down. Her underwear followed a second later. The muscles in Jane's abdomen tightened as Jane reached up and slid down her own pajama pants. Maura reached for Jane, but Jane, ever the tease, pulled away just out of Maura's reach.

"Someone's a little eager, huh?" Jane's eyes twinkled.

"Oh, please, don't make me beg!" Maura breathed as she tugged at the tall woman's body again. She only had to ask once. Maura tugged Jane upwards and she followed her hands straight to Maura's lips. Lips crashed together hungrily, and Maura's nails raked gently through Jane's hair and along Jane's scalp. As far as Jane was concerned, it was the best feeling in the world. (And that was in spite of one hell of a headache). Feeling Maura's fingers rake through her hair, made Jane feel safe, comforted. It was soothing and kinky all at the same time. Jane felt a pang of loss as Maura's hands slid down to grip her shoulders, holding her flush against her while Jane's mouth wandered. Eyes fluttered opened and closed as she became overwhelmed by all of the sensations.

She could no longer hold back the moans, as she was unbelievably turned on. She silently decided that this was the best wake up she'd ever had.

Teeth grazed her neck in a stinging bite, before Jane's tongue deftly slipped out to sooth away the sharp pang. Maura gasped at the sudden rush of pleasure that the pain gave her. Hands suddenly roamed over naked flesh as Jane allowed herself to explore. Maura's skin burned fiercely under Jane's fingertips as she slid them over Maura's hips, and muscular lower back. Maura's head dropped back against the pillows and she turned to give Jane better access. Her eyes were sealed shut as she reveled in the sensation. She loved it that Jane nuzzled and kissed her neck. Had she been standing, her knees would have given out long ago.

Jane squeezed her eyes shut as he ventured even lower, closer to the curls painting the juncture of Maura's legs. Her hips rose up as she buried her hands in Jane's hair. She kept tugging and pulling, unwilling to give up.

Her chest bobbed up and down wildly as her body was over taken with fervent desire. She had never felt this ardent desire for anyone else. Ever. With Jane everything was different. "Please," Maura begged breathlessly. "Jane, I need you." Jane arched an eyebrow as if to say, 'Don't you have me already?' and Maura let out a growl. "Not like that," she corrected. "I want to be able to kiss you back. Touch you." Jane hesitated for a moment.

Maura's eyes shot open as she felt Jane's lips on hers once more. She kissed Jane as passionately as was possible, unafraid to convey the need and desperation for the detective that she felt. "Jane..." the whimper was something a bit out of character for Maura. But Jane absolutely loved the way she could be so vulnerable when in the midst of their lovemaking.

"P-Please…I… I need," her voice cracked under the intensity of her need. Jane felt proud of herself. It was a hell of an accomplishment to reduce the blonde to incomplete sentences. Maura was on the verge of tears now. The burn in her lower abdomen had become this sort of painful throb, a raging inferno that could no longer be quenched. It was absolutely torturous. The throbbing between her legs seemed unable to be alleviated. Maura's body arched into Jane's, trying to use the friction to quell her own desire.

Jane kissed her, a deep passionate kiss that drew the air from her lungs. Jane's tongue thrust its way into her mouth and she accepted it. And in turn, her tongue reached out to mate with Jane's. Silken muscles twisted and contorted, fought and acquiesced. Maura let out another moan as Jane's fingers slid slowly down the plane of her stomach to the damp curls that marked her destination. Her throat opened up in a moan, and it shot Jane straight to the core.

Jane shivered again involuntarily. _God, the things this woman could do to her with her sounds were simply unbelievable_. She tried to recover rather quickly, fearing that she would betray herself and Maura would realize just how much power she had over Jane. That fact is, that Jane felt like putty in her hands. And so she nodded, biting down on the inside of her cheek as she moaned herself. There was nothing hotter than feeling how much Maura wanted her. Slowly she withdrew her fingers from inside of her, much to Maura's displeasure.

She took Maura's lips in hers again as the honey brunette started to protest, wanting things to progress faster. Instead, they exchanged another series of passionate kisses. And despite the overheated passion, and the fervent desire that was behind each kiss, they were surprisingly languid and fluid. A shiver shot quickly up Jane's spine, and she was left wondering if it was the sensation of Maura's fingers trailing their way up her body, or if it was from the cool air currently licking at her hypersensitive flesh.

Desperate pleas fell from Maura's parted lips as she covered Jane's hand with her own, trying to persuade the brunette to touch her elsewhere. Maura's head fell back against the pillows as Jane slipped her hand through silken strands and pulled Maura's hair back, exposing the long column of neck, to her questing lips. There were no words for the exhilaration Jane instilled in her when she touched her. It was as if she were being worshiped, and it made her feel safe, loved

Maura let out a moan as Jane's mouth devoured her now glistening, and slightly salty tasting skin. Fingers dove back into clinging heat, and started to evoke even more sounds from Maura's lips.

Every time Jane made her cry out, Jane's lips were there to swallow Maura's cries.

And when Maura finally came, Jane soothed her and attended to her in a way that prolonged the blonde's impeccable fall from the clouds. Jane was breathless as she dropped to the mattress beside her.

Maura bit down on her bottom lip in that adorably shy way that she always did, as she chanced a glance over towards her lover. Jane smiled back at her, happy to be the source of her untarnished happiness. And as Maura met Jane's eyes and saw the mischief and smugness there, a giggle involuntarily bubbled up causing her to laugh. It was sweet, laced with honey, and so perfect. Maura rolled over, hovering over Jane's exhausted body for a long moment, just trying to take in the moment.

"You okay?" Maura asked her.

"Yeah," Jane replied. "I'm just really tired."

"Me too," Maura admitted. "I only slept the equivalent of 3 and a half hours last night."

"Naptime?" Jane asked softly, with a yawn.

"Perhaps just this once," Maura said as she yawned in return, closing her eyes. She pulled Jane into her, and quickly fell asleep.

* * *

_Dream sequence:_

Jane's arms and legs moved through the water with little resistance he she fought against the large swells of the water surrounding her. A wave crashed over her head with shocking force, pulling her further down into the cold water. The feeling of sharp knives stabbing over every inch of her body left her gasping. She took in a deep breath and choked on it. Salt water, burned her airways on the way down. She coughed, hacked, trying to get the water out of her airways, but it was no use. Jane tried to cry out, but nothing came out. She sank further and further down until darkness encompassed her and chilled her. It weighed her down with every stroke and yet she fought harder and harder, thrashing against what soon became the moist sheets of Maura's bed as she awoke with a start. Jane shot up into a seated position, a gasp falling from her lips as she was catapulted into reality. Jane let herself drop back onto the pillows, and her stomach did a somersault that left her feeling as if she might be sick at any moment. Jane let herself sink further into the mattress. She took several deep breaths, which caused her pain, as she struggled to adjust to wakefulness.

For a long moment, Jane squeezed her eyes shut, taking one deep breath through her nose before expelling it into the cool air of Maura's bedroom through her parted lips. Jane's limbs felt as if they were made of lead, and seemingly weighing her down. And Jane wasn't even sure she would be able to move. Jane's eyes flickered open as she continued to fight the sudden onslaught of nausea, but as she tried to move again, her world was sent spinning above her and she couldn't stop it.

Jane reached up to her mouth, praying that she'd be able to hold out long enough to make it to the bathroom. Jane rolled off the edge of her bed, hoping that she could hit the ground running. But her body had another idea. Jane hit the ground hard, and gritted her jaw together in order to keep from crying out. She didn't want to wake Maura, who was sleeping peacefully even though Jane was pretty sure that no one could have slept through the racket she was making.

Jane crawled and stumbled quickly along the floor of Maura's master bedroom until she finally reached the comfort of the master bathroom. Jane pushed open the door, and pulled herself along the tiled floor towards the bowl.

Jane made it, and not a moment too soon. Before she could brace herself for it, her body convulsed violently. Her stomach seemed to be turning itself inside out in the worst way. She couldn't control her own retching. Instead, she felt like she was along for the ride. Jane hovered over the porcelain bowl, her knees acting as an anchor. The cold, unyielding floor pushed back up against her knees and made them ache. But nothing was as bad as the pain she was experiencing in her back and stomach, as muscles that she hadn't used in a long time, contracted over and over and over. Over time, they seized up completely. Fresh sweat built up on Jane's forehead, neck, lower back, and the rest of her body.

Her head was pounding with every beat of her heart, and it made her want to scream.

Just when Jane was sure she couldn't take any more, Jane was given a short reprieve. Jane reached out and flushed the toilet, as she didn't want to have to see what was inside. Jane groaned, as she pushed herself away from the bowl, and propped herself up against the wall.

Jane closed her eyes and let out a deep breath as she struggled to collect herself. She wasn't sure that she had enough energy left to get up and make it back to bed. And in all honesty, she wasn't sure if she wanted to. Jane shuddered as she felt the chilly air of Maura's bathroom lick at her damp and feverish body. She swallowed again, hoping to quell the intense burning in her throat. Jane moved again, and felt her stomach lurch as a direct consequence. 'Not again,' she thought to herself as it started all over again.

Meanwhile, back in the bedroom, Maura was slowly waking. She'd heard the loud thud of Jane's body, and had sleepily called out to the brunette in order to see if she was okay. But Jane was already in the bathroom by then. Maura groaned, as her eyes darted to the clock. It was almost eleven thirty five in the morning. Maura closed her eyes again, and Maura's arm blindly reached out to the side, feeling cold and damp sheets where she would have expected Jane to be.

She stiffened as the sound from the bathroom finally reached her ears. Hearing Jane retch so violently induced a very physical reaction in Maura. All she wanted to do was to ease Jane's pain. Without any more lazy pauses, Maura threw back the covers, and reached the bathroom just as Jane got hit with a fresh wave of nausea.

"Don't," she begged of Maura, not wanting her lover to see her in such a weak and ugly state. "Please go. I don't want…" Jane gagged before she could finish. Maura ignored Jane's broken protests and knelt down next to her. She didn't care about anything other than being there for her love, just as Jane had always been there for her. Gently, she pulled Jane's hair back from the bowl, and held it.

"Jane," she spoke her lover's name tenderly. "Shh. It's okay." Her voice quavered ever so slightly as she watched Jane's whole body seize up again. The look on Jane's features betrayed her own pain and agony, and it tore away at Maura's heart. She reached out with her other hand, rubbing small circles on Jane's back as she tried to ease the pain of its muscle spasms. Jane tried to speak again, but couldn't.

"I'm not leaving you like this. I promised to be there for you." Maura figured that she was better equipped to situations such as these; at least, she had a better ability to adapt to it than anyone else. She was a doctor, and although she usually dealt with dead bodies, she'd performed her residency with live, talking, breathing patients.

But in some ways, it was different when it involved people that you loved.

Jane continued to surrender to her body's feelings of helplessness and emptied her stomach's contents into the porcelain toilet bowl that she had a feeling she would get to know quite well. As awful as it sounded, Jane enjoyed the feeling of improvement that the emptiness actually gave her. The pain wasn't as bad, and the nausea seemed to be a little better too, now that her stomach was empty.

Sweat dripped from her forehead with the effort, as the muscles of her stomach and back finally relaxed for the last time and she could finally retreat to the comfort of the cool bathroom tile.

Jane let out a groan and closed her eyes in sheer exhaustion. Maura pulled Jane's body against her and cradled the brunette against her, struggling to keep her breathing even. Tears built in her eyes and she closed her eyes. The heat radiating from Jane's body was enough to make her break out in a sweat herself.

"You going to be okay for a minute by yourself?" Maura asked softly as she brushed some errant strands of Jane's damp hair from the brunette's eyes. "I'm going to get you a damp washcloth, and a fresh set of clothes. Jane simply nodded.

Maura forced herself to stand. Then, she rushed into the bedroom, opened her dresser and pulled out a shirt and a fresh pair of pajama bottoms for Jane. She hesitated, but also grabbed Jane a pair of underwear from her top drawer.

On her way back into the bathroom, she grabbed a clean washcloth from the linen closet. She set the clothes down by the tub, and then ambled over to the sink. She turned on the cold water, and then pushed the cloth under the tap to wet it. As soon as it was saturated with cold water, Maura turned off the tap and wrung out the washcloth. Slowly, with light footsteps, she walked over to Jane, and crouched down.

Jane's eyes fluttered open as cool washcloth met heated skin. Jane let out a moan at how good it felt. Maura brushed the cloth over Jane's forehead, cheeks, and neck. Then, she wiped Jane's mouth.

"Are you feeling any better?" Maura asked softly.

"A little. The nausea is better now that I've thrown up," Jane replied softly. "But I'm still dizzy."

"Does your head hurt?" Maura said as she reached up to run the back of her hand along Jane's cheek.

"Like hell," Jane whispered.

"Well," Maura cleared her throat, "Chances are that the nausea and dizziness are side effects of the concussion. But it has me worried." Then. "And since you checked yourself out against medical advice, you don't have prescriptions to help with the pain or nausea."

"I'll be fine," Jane said as she struggled to push herself up off of the floor.

"Easy, Jane," Maura said as she wrapped her arm around Jane's middle and helped the tall woman to her feet.

"I just want to go back to bed," Jane said softly.

"Okay," Maura nodded, "but I'm going to sit you down in here for a minute while I change the sheets. You soaked through the ones on your side of the bed."

Maura walked Jane over to the small stool next to the tub and sat her down.

Jane watched with a pang of sadness, as Maura walked out of the room. She hated making Maura worry. And from the look currently etched onto her best friend's beautiful features, she was doing just that.

* * *

**A/N: More to come soon! Please review!**

**Some of you have expressed your dislike for Maura, but I hope the last couple of chapters have shown her in a better light. There are two important things you need to know. 1. Maura wholeheartedly loves Jane and 2. Everybody makes mistakes. Maybe she was too hard on Jane, initially. But as human beings we are all fallible. Maura is in it for the long run.**


	10. Be Gentle With Me

Title: **My Sundown**

Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles  
Author: Alwaysbringback-up  
Language: English, Rating: Rated: M  
Genre: Drama/Angst/Friendship

**Chapter 5: Be Gentle With Me**

**Pairing:** Jane/Maura

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.

**A/N: Thanks to all of those that reviewed! Sorry it's been a while since I've updated. Hopefully, this long, juicy chapter will make up for it! I was in the hospital several days with a severe infection, but I'm doing better now.**

* * *

Several hours later, Jane awoke to find herself enveloped in gentle rays of sunlight. The beams cast a warm orange glow on Jane's eyelids. She stirred, making the lengthy transition between a serene dream-like state and what she knew now to be cold harsh reality. Jane didn't want to get up. In fact, she just wanted to bury herself under the covers and sleep all day. But a part of her knew she couldn't stay like this. She had to face up to things. Jane only wished that she had some caffeine. Mainly, she wished for some coffee to sharpen her senses. Jane's head currently felt a continuous throbbing ache, like someone was drumming on the inside of her skull. Her stomach felt hollowed out, painfully so. And her legs felt like someone had replaced them with lead. Still, nothing could stop Jane's mouth from watering slightly as she thought about coffee. Jane spent a long minute trying to decide if she wanted coffee and breakfast bad enough to get out of bed. Normally, there was no hesitation, and Jane would go bounding downstairs to the kitchen. However, this morning Jane found that he was in the midst of one of those rare occasions when she would rather spend buried under the protection of the covers. If only the covers could truly protect her from reality. Jane let out a groan, not wanting to have to face what she knew was coming. IAB would be calling any time now. They would demand a meeting. They would reprimand her for leaving the hospital without talking to them first. With a sleepy groan and a gruff sigh, Jane turned away from the windows rolled onto her side. Knowing what lie in store for her, only made her want to bury herself deeper. She wanted to hide. Jane squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that she might be fortunate enough to fall back into sleep. Her hope was that in sleep, she might be able to escape from all of the things that seemed to be pulling her apart.

Despite her best efforts not to think about those things, however, Jane let her mind wander, and she unknowingly fixated upon them. Jane knew that there would be little chance of her returning to his previous dream of Maura and paradise. Jane tossed and turned for the next ten minutes or so, but finally gave up fighting and settled on her back. Jane threw his forearm over his eyes, letting his breathing even out.

Then her phone started going off on the nightstand.

"No," Jane groaned, willing it to stop ringing as she rolled over and reached for the phone. She pulled it off of the nightstand, and glanced at the caller ID. It was Cavanaugh.

With a trembling hand, she flipped open the phone and held it to her ear.

"Rizzoli," she answered, her voice scratchy from dis-use.

"It's Cavanaugh," he said preemptively.

"Yeah, boss," Jane replied, "I saw the ID." She sighed. "What is it?"

"IAB is here, and they want to talk to you," he announced. "I've stalled them for as long as I can."

"Did you tell them that I had a concussion and I'm under doctor's orders to rest," Jane asked him.

"Yes," Cavanaugh replied. "To be honest, I think they would have been more lenient if you had stayed at the hospital, but as it is, I can't stall them any longer." He paused. "You need to come in and give a statement."

"Okay…Okay," Jane rasped, "I'll see what I can do. I trust they can wait an hour?"

"Maybe," Cavanaugh replied, "But don't keep them waiting any longer than that, Jane. I wouldn't want to see them take it out on you later."

"Yes, sir," Jane nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Rizzoli," he replied. Jane flipped her phone shut and sat up on the edge of the bed. She lifted her hands to her face and gingerly rubbed her eyes to see if she could relieve the pressure that seemed to be behind them.

Slowly, she stood from the bed and walked down the hall to the guest bedroom, where all of her clothes were.

* * *

When Maura walked back into her room to check on Jane, the raven haired beauty was no where to be found. Maura checked the master bath, but it was empty. Then she heard a noise from down the hall, in the guest room. She went to investigate.

Maura walked briskly down the hall, pushed her way into the guest bedroom, and saw the light on in the closet.

"Jane?" she called as she stepped further into the room. "Jane, is that you?"

"Yeah," Jane replied, "I'm in the closet." Maura walked into the closet and froze.

Jane was halfway dressed, wearing a sports bra and some pants.

"Jane, what are you doing?" she asked with her hands on her hips. "You're supposed to be resting!" Jane didn't stop rifling through her shirts, trying to find one that would be easier for her to put on.

"Jane," Maura's voice was a little firmer. "You have a concussion. You've been vomiting. You need to be in bed." Jane said nothing. "I'm serious, Jane! Get back in bed."

"I can't," Jane said in exasperation as she turned around to face Maura. "Cavanaugh called. And IAB has demanded a meeting. I have to be there in an hour."

"Can't they wait?" Maura asked softly. "I mean…don't they know what you've been through?"

"Heh," Jane let out a humorless laugh. "Trust me, Maur. IAB waits for no one. They don't care."

"But that's absurd!" Maura exclaimed. "You have a concussion. A broken rib."

"Three officers died, Maura, and two little girls died," Jane listed. "They have no reason to care for my level of comfort. They have to make sure that I handled everything correctly. Maur, if I don't meet with them, I could lose my badge." Maura frowned.

"It's okay, Maur," Jane said calmly. "It's just a meeting. I just have to go through my version of events, and tell them exactly what I remember seeing. It won't take long. I promise."

"Are you sure?" Maura asked, "Because I could call them and…"

"Maura, no!" Jane said forcefully. "No, okay?" Jane said gently this time. "It'll be fine."

"Do you want me to drive you? I have some work I could catch up on while you're in the meeting."

"That would be great, Maur," Jane smiled graciously. "Thank you." Maura smiled in return, reveling in how right it felt to be there with one another.

"Hey, Maur," Jane said softly. "Maur," she tried again.

"Hmm?"

"This is sorta awkward, but do you have a clean button up shirt that I could borrow?" Jane asked softly. "My ribs sort of hurt and I just want something comfortable. Something easy to slip in and out of."

"Are you sure you don't want to just go dressed like that?" Maura asked while drinking in the sight of her beautiful best friend. "Cause that outfit has my stamp of approval." Jane let out a groan.

"I'm practically naked, Maura," Jane pointed out with a laugh.

"I know," Maura replied.

"Who would have know that perfectly uptight Dr. Maura Isles had a kinkier perverted side."

"Well, now you know," Maura teased, her hips curving into a smile.

"So…?"

"I've got just the thing!" Maura announced as she disappeared. Presumably, she went to her own closet and returned with a button down blouse. It wasn't silk like all of her nice ones, which was good because Jane would have turned those down on principle, just because of just how nice (and expensive) they were.

"It's perfect, Maura," Jane announced with a quick peck of Maura's lips. "Thank you."

"Here," the honey brunette announced as she slipped the article off of the hanger it was on. "Let me help you."

"All right," Jane agreed, "But no funny business. I have very little time before I have to be at the station."

Maura was good as she helped Jane into the article of clothing. Jane was forced to hold her breath several times as the woman's hands grazed her skin. Maura took her time doing up the buttons, one by one. When she was finally finished, the M.E. leant forwards and husked into Jane's ear.

"You look sexy in my shirt, detective," Maura breathed. "Maybe you'll let me take it off of you later too?"

"Sure I will," Jane smiled. She quickly reached up, wrapped her hand around the back of Maura's neck and tugged the shorter woman towards her, giving the honey brunette a long, deep, sensuous kiss. When the kiss broke, both of them were a little breathless. "That's just a little promise of what's to come later," Jane whispered. "Come on," Jane said softly, "We've got to go."

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

Jane was starting to feel a little funny as they sat her down in an interrogation room.

"Good Afternoon, Detective Rizzoli," a man in a blue suit, with a matching deep blue tie, greeted her as she sat down. "I'm agent Donnahue, this is Agent Coulter, and we're here to get your version of events for September 28th, 2013."

"So where would you like me to start?" Jane asked.

"How about we start with your assignment," Donnahue suggested.

"Okay," Jane cleared her throat, set her hands on the table, and started wringing them. "Well…uhm…I… We had three teenage girl's who witnessed a murder involving the Colombian drug cartel, and Detective Martinez, asked the BPD to take charge of protecting the witnesses until they could be processed into witness protection."

"And how do you fit into that, exactly?" he asked. "I mean…you're not in Martinez's unit."

"I was asked by Derek Collinsworth to take his spot. You see, his wife was having a baby, and I couldn't say no. I mean… It's not like I had anything going anyways, and I cared about those girls. Besides…contrary to what you believe we were working with narcotics throughout the whole investigation. They meant a lot to us too."

"Okay," Coulter replied. "So what happened? Why weren't you there?"

"I left with one of the girls, Elizabeth, to get food for the other girls," Jane explained. "You see, I promised them the best cheeseburgers on this side of the Mississippi, because I thought it would make things a little better for them… Even if it was just for a few minutes. And when I got back, everything seemed fine."

"How long were you gone?" Donnahue asked, after scribbling in his notebook.

"We left at 8:37 and got back at 8:52," Jane replied. "So…exactly fifteen minutes."

"And nothing seemed amiss when you got back to the motel?"

"No," Jane shook her head. "Everything was quiet."

"So what happened when you got there?"

"I got a phone call, declined it, put it back in my pocket and got out of the car," Jane answered. Jane took a deep breath. "We were at the bottom of the stairs when I suddenly got a bad feeling."

"A bad feeling?" Coulter repeated.

"Yeah," Jane shrugged. "it happens."

"So it wasn't something you noticed?" Donnahue asked.

"I don't know," Jane replied. "I guess that maybe it was because it felt too quiet, you know?" Jane cleared her throat. "You know, motels always have all sorts of noise and arguments and what not. But walking down past some of the rooms, it was too quiet. So, I stopped, I gave my keys to Elizabeth and I told her to go back to the car, get inside, lock the doors, and hide."

"And then?"

"Then I headed up the stairs," Jane replied. "I received a call, and answered it. It was Dr. Isles, our forensic pathologist calling. She and I were having a brief conversation when I heard the first shot." Jane was about to continue when a raised hand cut her off.

"How long was your 'brief' conversation with Dr. Isles?" Coulter asked.

"What does that matter?" Jane retorted. "The second I heard the shot I told her to call Korsak and Frost for help, and I lost the connection."

"How long, detective?" Coulter pressed.

"I don't know. Thirty seconds?"

"Wrong. The conversation was over 2 and a half minutes long," he replied. "Now, was the call work related, or was it personal."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Jane asked.

"If you thought something was wrong, why did you stop to take a call? You could have radioed for help yourself."

"I didn't realize anything was wrong until I heard the shot!" Jane suddenly shouted, earning raised brows from the two detectives interviewing her. "You think I haven't thought about the time I wasted? About how maybe I could have saved the life of one of those officers with that time? Believe me! I know, okay?"

"What happened when you heard the shots?"

"I sprinted down the hall, checked the officers outside-they were both dead- and kicked open the door. There was a man outside standing over another officer. He lifted the gun, saw me, and so I jumped out of the way, using the wall for cover. He fired at me, and I returned fire."

"How many shots did you fire?"

"Three." She took a deep breath. When they didn't ask any more questions she continued. "Well, three outside. One inside."

"One of the bullets hit the man, and he went down. I went inside."

"Even though, Dr. Isles told you not to?" Donnahue asked.

"I had to," Jane said vehemently. "If there was even the smallest chance that I could save those girls, I had to go in there." Jane swallowed. "So I cleared the first room, peered into the second. I saw the girls. They'd both been shot. I took the proper stance, entered the room. Maybe I was a little too eager, because I didn't swing around far enough. I was in a hurry to get to the girls and I missed the guy hiding behind the door. He attacked. We fought, rather brutally, I might add." She related a blow by blow of the fight; "I wound up with his hands around my throat. I managed to get hold of the lamp, hit him in the head, and he went down. Unfortunately, because he'd struck me with the ashtray, I succumbed to unconsciousness, and by the time I came to again. He was gone."

"What was his description?"

"He was big, roughly 6 foot 3, 240 pounds, lots of muscle. He had brown hair with a bit of a receding hair line, brown eyes, a bit of a beard. He had a tattoo of a panther on his neck… I can't remember much else. He was umm… wearing all black. He certainly knew like he looked how to fight. And judging by the loss of life, he knew how to handle a gun too."

"Did you tell anyone where you were going that night?" Donnahue asked. "Did you tell anyone where the girls were staying?"

"Are you kidding me?" Jane asked incredulously. "This isn't my first rodeo. I'm not that stupid. I would never…"

"It's a simple question detective. Yes or No."

"No."

"Did you tell Maura Isles when you were on the phone with her?"

"What?! No!" Jane had no idea what Maura had to do with it. Then she remembered Paddy Doyle.

"No, I didn't tell, Maura," Jane snapped. "And frankly I'm pissed off by what you just insinuated. Maura Isles has nothing to do with Paddy Doyle. She distanced herself from him a long time ago. In fact, she was instrumental in putting him in prison. Even if the Colombians had hired the Irish Mob to help them eliminate those three witnesses, Maura never would have had anything to do with it."

"So you claim," Coulter replied skeptically. "Here's the thing, detective," Coulter said finally. "One of the police working on the detail had to have shared the girls' location."

"No. No way," Jane growled, "None of the guys would have said so much as a single word. And I didn't either." Then. "Are we done here?"

"Frankly, I think that you should be suspended without pay," Coulter said finally, "You exercised poor judgment. You left the other detective's without a senior officer, and left the premises. You went inside without waiting for back up, failed to clear the room, and failed to apprehend the suspect."

"Sir," Jane tried, but he interrupted.

"You'll be placed on desk duty for now," he announced.

"But I can help catch this guy!" Jane protested.

"Leave it alone detective!" he ordered harshly. "Just be glad you're not suspended right now." Jane opened her mouth to say something, but he didn't give her the chance. "We're finished."

Jane stood up, walked to the door, yanked it open, walked through it, and slammed it shut behind her.

* * *

She was shaking with anger as she walked to her desk to collect her things. Then without stopping she headed for the elevator.

"Janie!" Frankie shouted as he chased after her. "Janie," he said again as he fell into step beside her. "What happened? What did they say?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Jane gritted out through clenched teeth.

"Come on, Jane," he said softly, "It couldn't have gone that badly."

"Heh," Jane shook her head. "Yeah. Right."

Jane suddenly stopped as she felt Frankie's hand gently come to rest on her shoulder.

"You have no idea, Frankie," Jane sighed dejectedly. "They said I exercised poor judgment. They think that I should be suspended."

"What?" Frankie sounded shocked. "Why? You did what you had to."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," Jane said as she spun and headed for the elevator.

"Janie, wait! Where are you going?!" Frankie shouted after her; he was worried about his sister.

"To hit something!" Jane shouted back.

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

Frankie looked bewildered for a long moment as Jane disappeared. He was really worried about Jane's state of mind. There was only one person that came to mind. If anyone could help Jane, it would be Maura.

Frankie made his way to the morgue, and knocked on the door to Maura's office.

"Come in!" Maura's muffled voice answered from the other side of her door. Frankie pushed open the door and walked inside. He had to fight the smile that was tugging his lips at how adorable Maura looked. She was hunched over paperwork, wriggling her pen between her fingers, as she read something. She had glasses perched on her nose, but she quickly slipped them off when she looked up and saw the figure standing on the opposite side of her desk.

"You look lovely today, Maura," Frankie said softly.

"Thanks," Maura smiled, her dimples made her look even more adorable. "What can I do for you, detective?"

"Maura," Frankie laughed. "For goodness sakes, call me Frankie." Maura looked momentarily conflicted as her nose wrinkled.

"Frankie," Maura said softly. "I'm trying to keep things professional. Given that you've shown a romantic interest in me, I just want to make sure I… It's just that…I don't want to give you the wrong idea about us."

"You want to keep your personal life separate from work," Frankie stated calmly. "That's fine. I mean…so do I." Then. "But, I _would_ like it if you would let me take you out some time."

Maura sighed. She looked pained, and Frankie felt like someone punched him in the gut.

"Frankie," Maura said as warmly as she could. "I care about you a lot, you know that. But I truly think about you as a brother, and not as anything more."

"I…just…" Frankie gave up trying.

"I'm sorry, Frankie," Maura apologized, "I really am."

"I can't say it doesn't hurt," Frankie said finally. "But I understand. You don't want to put Jane in an awkward position. After all, she's your best friend and things would be sort of awkward if we started dating." Maura closed her eyes. She'd been trying to postpone this moment for as long as possible. But it was time to come clean.

"About that," Maura exhaled. "There's actually something that I need to tell you."

"What is it?" Frankie asked, although a part of him was scared to ask that question.

"I've been harboring feelings for your sister for quite some time," Maura admitted. "And several weeks ago, I finally told her how I felt. That's…actually what our fight was about."

"W-what?" Frankie's voice cracked. "Are you serious?"

"You think I would lie about something like this?" Maura said softly. "I love her, Frankie. I…I'm in love with your sister. And…and I think she's in love with me too."

"I can't believe this!" Frankie threw up his hands. "So what the hell was that between us then, huh?" Then. "Did it mean anything to you at all?"

"Frankie…Please," Maura said as calmly as she could manage while being yelled at.

"I can't!" he shouted, his jaw clenching. "I can't, Maura." Frankie reached up to run a hand over his jaw. "I need to go," Frankie said, as he couldn't stand the pain any longer. "Look, I came down here to tell you that Jane's meeting with IAB is over, and I think something is wrong. But, of course, she wouldn't talk to me about any of it…." Then. "I just thought you'd want to know. You can probably find her in the gym." Without another word, Frankie rushed from the room and disappeared.

**-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I-R&I**

One. One two. Punch. Jab. Upper cut. One two.

"Son of a bitch," Jane muttered, punching the bag over and over and over again. Sweat collected all over her body. Trails of sweat streaked down her temples, dripping from her jaw. The air on the back of her neck felt cool as the hair at the nape of her neck became drenched. She could vaguely feel the dampness collecting on the small of Her back, effectively soaking through her white tank. Her breath came in rasps as she hit the bag again and again in the dim light of the wreck room. Her muscles swelled under the extension of her limbs, leaving the skin taught over it. She could see ripples shoot through each arm with each impact of the bag. Her hands were numb, and she gritted her jaw against the tingling in her hands. She closed her eyes and imagined how good it would feel to beat the killer that she'd encountered to a bloody pulp. If she had her way, Jane would strike him until she stopped moving. She wanted him to beg for mercy, but once again, all she could do was imagine. After all, she had to get it all out. It was never enough. She could stand here, punching the life out of the lifeless bag for the rest of her life, and it still wouldn't be enough. It was times like this when she wondered why she was still doing what she was doing? What is the point in fighting a battle you can never win? The answer was simple, but frankly, it only made her angrier. Someone had to fight the fight. Someone had to take down the bad guys.

She couldn't blame anyone else. After all, it had been her dream to be a detective for as long as she could imagine. She chose this life for herself, and therefore, only had herself to blame. She just wishes that it didn't hurt so much. The fact was, she needed a vacation. Badly. She needed to get away from the job, before she lost it.

"I'm no failure," Jane muttered aloud. "Damn it all. But I'm no failure. I made a mistake…"

One. One two. Side swipe. Left jab. Left jab again. Her breathing was uneven now, under the exertion. She'd been going at it for nearly 50 minutes non-stop. Her legs shook underneath her own weight as she took a step forwards and then back. A shiver worked its way up her spine and her body quavered slightly. Her hair was soaked through now, as was her tank top. She opened her eyes, hitting the bag once more.

The fatigue was actually doing her some favors. Her mind was getting tired, numb, and it was easing her racing thoughts somewhat. She and her conscience needed the break. Jane wanted to feel nothing, which is precisely why she was currently trying so hard to force her own body- her own mind-into submission. Her shoulders throbbed with the effort of each punch. Her head started to loll on her shoulders. Sometimes she'd tire herself out so very much that the fatigue took precedence over everything else.

By the time she finished, the only thoughts she'd have would be of her aching limbs and body. She'd think about how she could just lay down and sleep forever, and she wouldn't bother to think of anything else. It was her way of beating the system, and she had to do it every so often in order to keep her sanity. Jane's shoulders tensed as she sensed two eyes on her back. She hadn't heard anyone walk in, but then again, it was hard to hear everything over her own loud labored breathing and the sound of her fists connecting with the bag. Jane glanced over her shoulder, expecting to see her brother. She was stunned when her eyes met the twinkling hazel eyes of her best friend, the very person she'd been hoping to avoid. Still, she couldn't look away. Maura was ineffably beautiful. So god damned beautiful that it made her dizzy. And so she just stared.

"Jane," she heard Maura say faintly. "Jane! Look out!" Jane vaguely wondered what the hell Maura could be talking about when she felt something heavy slam into her, effectively knocking her off of her feet. Jane was sent to the floor. Hard.

'Oh,' Jane thought to herself as she hit the floor. 'So _that's_ what she was talking about.'

"Fuck!" Jane hissed as her ears were left ringing. She was splayed out on the mat, too tired and too winded to move. She just laid there for a long moment, looking up at the ceiling in a daze.

"Jane?" Maura was sprinting over, worry evident in her voice. The blonde doctor sprinted over. Jane still hadn't moved. Then, slowly, Jane started to sit up, the muscles in her midsection straining with the effort. Maura tried not to notice the way Jane's body shimmered appealingly with sweat. "You okay?" Maura asked as she helped Jane sit up the rest of the way. She made a point to glance into Jane's eyes.

"Ugh," Jane groaned. "I think my pride just took more of a beating than anything else," Jane groused.

"Aww," Maura said softly. "You don't have to worry about impressing me, Jane."

"I take it Frankie told you to come," Jane's voice filled the room. Her heartbeat whooshing through her ears, made it hard for her to hear Maura's reply.

"I wanted to check on you, actually," Maura swallowed. "You promised you would keep me posted, Jane, and then you didn't call. What's worse is that you've been ignoring my phone calls." Maura looked sad. "And yes," Maura said softly, "If you must know, Frankie came to see me, because he's worried about you." Maura sighed. "He told me what happened with IAB."

"Then you also know it didn't go well," Jane said simply. Maura nodded.

"Did they suspend you?"

"Why? Do you think they should have," Jane asked.

"No!" Maura answered after some hesitation. "Of course not."

"You're lying," Jane said hoarsely, as she pushed herself up off the floor. She gave a pointed look at the punching bag (more like a glare really), and walked over to pick up her water bottle. She picked it up and squirted some of the heavenly cold water into her mouth. "Maybe you should just go," Jane said, trying to hide the hurt that Maura's reply had caused.

"I'm not lying, Jane," Maura said persistently, following after Jane.

"Stop, Maura," Jane said out of frustration, "I can practically hear your brain working from here."

"I'm sorry," Maura said sarcastically, "Am I not allowed to worry about my girlfriend anymore?"

"That was sarcasm," Jane said bitterly. "You can _not_ use sarcasm against me."

"Apparently," Maura said angrily. "I'm not allowed to do anything!"

"You just did it again!" Jane said incredulously.

"Yeah?" Maura's brow rose on her forehead. "Well, I guess you're going to have to learn to deal with it."

"You're not helping," Jane bit out, though her voice wavered with her own strained emotion. "So feel free to go, Maura."

"No." The defiant word caused Jane to turn around, Her eyes opening wide as her jaw fell open.

"I'm sorry," Jane nearly hissed out. "I don't think I heard you correctly. What did you just say?" Jane inquired angrily.

"You heard me," Maura said quietly, "I said that I'm not going anywhere." Maura took another step forwards, invading Jane's personal space. "I'm your girlfriend and I'm worried about you." And just like that, everything in the room stopped.

"Did you… Did you just call me your girlfriend?" Jane's wide brown eyes shimmered.

"Do I need to say it again?" Jane shrugged.

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli," Maura spoke quietly, "Would you be my girlfriend?"

"Do you really want to be with a messed up person like me?"

"Yes," Maura replied.

Maura swallowed, tears building in her own eyes as she realized how awful and defeated Jane truly looked. Her heart clenched as she saw the bruising on Jane's body, bruising that she hadn't noticed in the darkness. Jane had deep tissue bruises of purple, red, and blue on her shoulder, neck, and ribcage. "Jane," she could scarcely breath as her hand reached out to touch her, "What the hell happened? Haven't you been putting ice on it like you're supposed to?" Jane only took a step back, trying to elude her touch.

"You know what happened," Jane grumbled. "I got my ass kicked by a _freaking_ _ninja_ _assassin_." Okay so that wasn't really the truth. Jane just hoped Maura stopped asking her questions that made her remember. "_That's_ what happened. But I'm fine now. Seriously, Maura, you should just go. I'm fine."

Maura was surprised Jane still had any fight left in her body. It seemed like they'd both already given everything they had to the job. Jane had already given everything she had to Maura.

"Don't act like you're fine!" Maura yelled out of frustration. "Jane, you're not fine."

"You're right!" Jane shouted throwing up her arms. "What else do you want me to say?! IAB ripped me apart, and I'm pissed!"

"There," Maura said pointedly. "Was that really so hard?"

"I just don't want you to hurt like this any more by yourself," Maura breathed aloud and Jane did all she could to stay quiet. She swallowed, feeling her stomach churning relentlessly. It was amazing what her mere presence could do to her. "I know about the nightmares."

"Maura," Jane's head bowed ever so slightly. Maura knew that Jane's pride made it hard for her to admit when something was too much. "I need to…"

"Shh, Jane," Maura's voice was soft as she brushed her hand across Jane's cheek, and then settled her hand on Jane's shoulders. Jane's strong shoulders tensed under the touch, "Hey, it's okay. You can stop now. I'm here." Maura took a deep breath. "I'm here as a friend. Just tell me what you need. Tell me what can I do to make things better?"

"I need a hug from my best friend," Jane took a step forwards, placing her forehead on Maura's shoulder. Instinctively, Maura's arms wrapped tightly around Jane, holding her against her in a vice grip. God, she loved this woman. All she could think of was how amazing Jane was. If she could, she would have stayed there forever, just cradling the strong relentless woman in her arms. She was surprised when Jane's shoulders immediately relaxed and the detective held her too. Maura closed her eyes as she listened to Jane inhale her comforting scent. She could scarcely breath as Jane pulled back to face her. A gruesome bruise dotted the woman's, strong, and defined jaw. Maura let out sigh, reaching up to touch it ever so lightly. "Oh, Jane," she said sadly. Maura leaned forwards, placing a gentle kiss to the corner of Jane's mouth. A look of shock swept across Jane's face as she realized what had just happened. Maura could tell that Jane was taken aback by her forwardness. Jane squeezed her own eyes shut for a long moment as Maura, took a step forwards and repeated the gesture. This time the intent could not be mistaken as she deepened it. Jane moaned into her mouth as Maura rather enthusiastically shoved her up against the nearby wall, and slid her hands under Jane's shirt.

"Jane," Maura panted as Jane pulled Maura's thighs upwards. Maura moaned again as Jane pushed her lean, hard, midsection against the juncture of Maura's legs. The moans just kept coming as Maura locked her legs tightly around Jane's waist and ran her fingers through Jane's damp tousled locks. Jane kissed her way down Maura's neck to her clavicle, nibbling aggressively along the way. It was almost so pleasurable that it was painful.

"I want you," Jane husked into Maura's ear, Her tongue darting out to glaze her earlobe. Maura took a deep breath, her mind growing warm and fuzzy. Jane smelled heavily of sweat, and stale perfume. Her musky scent, and the scent of arousal that was lingering between the two of them made her desperate for more.

"I'm all yours," Maura replied, stealing a deep kiss from Jane. Jane grunted as Maura hands found the hem of her tank and pulled it upwards over her head. The skin underneath glistened under a thin sheen of sweat. Maura began to steal tastes of Jane, whose skin was laced heavily with salt. Jane stumbled sideways, tripping over something that sent them both to the mat. Jane grunted as the ground came up to meet them. Maura, however, didn't miss a beat. She quickly straddled Jane's lap, grinding down on her. Jane moaned appreciatively, feeling the heat at the apex of her thighs, while Maura groaned at the feeling of Jane's abs straining against the fabric between them.

"This isn't exactly how I imagined it," Jane admitted as She rolled, before quickly pining Maura to the mat. "This," She smiled as her hands pinned Maura to the mat beneath her. "Is more like it."

"Mmm," Maura moaned softly. "That's hot," she smiled, a truly disarming smile, "But I like to be on top." The air was forced out of Maura's lungs as she made a quick flourish of her body, using her weight to dislodge her pinned upper body. Jane grunted as she was splayed on her back once again.

"Wow," Jane breathed, looking up into her eyes as she held Her there. She stole a kiss from her, pointedly. "You've been holding out on me."

"Oh," Maura husked in her ear as she reached for her shorts, "You haven't seen anything yet." She smiled mischievously, "You going to fight me this time, or are you going to let me have my wicked way with you?"

"You want me that badly?" Jane teased. "Oh how far we fall…"

"Jane," Maura paused. "I told Frankie."

"Y-You did?" Jane looked suddenly serious. "When?"

"About an hour ago," Maura replied. "He was a bit shocked. I dare say he took it a bit harder than I thought he would. I think he hates me, now. And I can't say I blame him."

"Hey," Jane's voice was suddenly soft and sympathetic. "He'll come around, Maura. You'll see."

"You think so?" Maura's eyes shimmered.

"I know so," Jane said reassuringly as she lifted Maura's hand to her lips and kissed it.

"I was thinking…"

"Yeah?" Jane teased. "That's new." Maura playfully shoved Jane's shoulder, causing them both to laugh.

"What if you and I took a few days off, and went out of town?" Maura asked. "Before I came down here, I checked with Cavanaugh and he said that you had over 140 days of vacation saved."

"But what about you," Jane asked worriedly, "You always have so much work to do, and I don't want to cause you to fall behind."

"Jane, I can manage things over phone and email," Maura reassured her.

"If you're sure," Jane said softly. "Then okay…"

"Good, because I already booked us a place at a resort on Lake Champlain in Vermont," Maura said with a smile. "They have something for everyone, and I like it because it's a green complex. We won't be leaving any sort of carbon footprint. Plus, the scenery is to die for."

"When do we leave?" Jane asked, looking amused.

"First thing tomorrow," Maura replied. "I thought that you could go home, pack, then stay with me tonight, and we'll leave from my house in the morning."

"What about Joe and Bass?" Jane asked.

"Your Mom said that she would watch them for us, while we're gone," Maura answered.

"Wow. Sounds like you've taken care of everything," Jane laughed. Maura suddenly looked sheepish.

"Oh god," she breathed, "I'm sorry. Does…Does it all sound all right to you?"

"Are you kidding me?" Jane replied, while looking deep into Maura hazel eyes, "It's perfect, Maur. Wait a minute…my ma… does she know?"

"No," Maura shook her head. "She just thinks we're going as friends." Jane nodded and let out a sigh of relief.

"Okay…" Jane nodded, "Well, I'll go home and pack then."

"I'll see you soon then," Maura said as she slowly climbed off of Jane and helped the brunette stand up.

"Okay, love," Jane smiled, before pulling Maura in for a goodbye kiss to tide her over for a few hours.

* * *

_**A/N: Okay, so that's it for now! An update will come soon! Please review! **_

_**The next chapter is going to be one hell of a ride!**_ **_Muah...hah...hah_**


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